S/O: Maiden name

MrsJ723 · December 2012

The post below got me thinking-if you are married, did you keep your last name (either as a hypenated last name with DH's name or move it to your middle name)? If you're not currently married, do you think you'll keep your maiden name?

Although my dad was the last of his last name, neither my sister nor I kept our maiden name in any form. It is a one syllable German name that is rather harsh sounding (and constantly mispronouned), so I was happy to exchange it for a very common, multiple-pages-of-the-phone-book last name. My dad named me, so I still feel like I have a "name connection" with him even if I didn't keep his last name.

BananaBudBear · December 2012

My state (county) automatically moves the maiden name to our middle name. I hate my married last name but oh well.

TradeMama · December 2012

I changed my name to my husband's last name and kept my maiden name as a middle name. I wanted my maiden name because it reflected my cultural background, and I didn't want to lose it.

Rachel Goldstein · December 2012

I was truly not a fan of my old or new last name. I always wanted to be a Smith or something short and easy to say. Something I didn't have to spell out or pronounce for someone. Alas, this new name isn't any better and a lot of people assume that we are Jewish and invite us to their church which is always awkward to have to decline. A major part of his family is Jewish though and I get where the assumption stems. Anyway I'm rambling. Point is, I've never liked my last name, but I love my husband, and his family, so I've come to love the name. I never really understood hyphenating your last names. Maybe I'm just super traditional?

slweaver0626 · December 2012

I did not keep my maiden name as part of my name. Out of 7 Aunts and Uncles, only 1 has produced a son who will carry on our family name... and we aren't too certain he is interested in doing so. Oh well. No one seems too upset about it.

caitlandrenee · December 2012

I just kept my last name and didn't add his. Hopefully it doesn't cause problems but it just seemed like far too much work to change my name. I don't think it's that big of a deal anyhow.

bhjones1980 · December 2012

I moved my maiden name to my middle name, my husbands name is SUPER common (obviously from my screen name) and I miss the uniqueness of my maiden name.

My older sister did not change her name when she got married and I do not know what they will do when they have kids (what last name the kids will have), but that removed some pressure about my Fathers family name dying out.

RachelandEduardo · December 2012

Nope, I kept my last name. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of completely giving up my name (a part of my identity). Also in academia, once you start publishing under one name its easier to just stick with it. I've recently considered hyphenating mostly so I share the last name as our baby. I'm still undecided...The feminist in me wants to just leave it alone and the more comments I get from women who are Horrified that I didn't take my husbands last name, the more I want to just keep things as they are.

blush64 · December 2012

I kept my name. I will always keep my name. My kids are hyphenated and my next child will be hyphenated. I know hyphens scare people for no good reason but there have been no issues for us. My kids are almost 17 and 14 and neither has had a problem.

I think it's just as important for the mother's name to be carried on as the father's name. I just didn't see a reason to give up my name to be married. He didn't give up his. I'm just sorry women didn't keep their names more often in the past.

mytinc · December 2012

My maiden name was very unique. If you googled it you found people that are definately related to me. Aside from being unique - it was constantly mispronouned and misspelled. A part of me didn't want to change my name because everyone knew who I was.

I married earlier this year and took DH's last name. While his last name (and now mine) is VERY common there are two ways to spell it, so I'm still having to spell it for everyone. But if I google my married name there are a TON of people with this name, so I feel like I don't really stand out from the crowd anymore. Being in a PR type career field I enjoyed my maiden name and everyone knowing me.

I thought about keeping my maiden name as a middle name and having two middle names or getting rid of my middle name and replacing it all together, but decided against it. I have a brother, cousin and two nephews that will carry on the name. On the other hand, while DH's last name is very common, his father was an only child and he's left to carry on the last name (which wouldn't die out if we didn't use it, but since his dad is deceased I felt it was important to take on that name).

TradeMama · December 2012

sct728:
As a good Southern lady, my mother decided to call me by a nickname of my middle name when I was born.nbsp; Nice for tradition's sake but annoying at the doctor's office as my maiden last name was difficult to pronounce so nurses would look, hesitate, then call my first name which is super common.nbsp; I never knew if they were calling me since I never was called by that name or the lady next to me!When I got married, it was important to me to keep my maiden name as my middle name.nbsp; My state won't allow 4 names legally unless you change your birth certificate.nbsp; That was out of the question.nbsp; I moved my middle name that I am called by to my first name, my maiden name in the middle, then DH's last name.Yeah, that took 2 trips to court and an ad run in the paper, numerous fees, but now MUCH LESS confusion over all.nbsp; =

I did this too! It took forever!

burkems · December 2012

I changed my name. Never really considered keeping it. I don't have a problem with people who choose to keep it though, especially if you're very established in your profession or in academia. I got married young enough that my bachelors diploma has my married name on it.

I'm not a huge fan of hyphenation, mainly because it seems cumbersome. But not my business.

My business partner had the coolest name combination and I was honestly bummed when she decided to change her name when she got married. LOL, but again, totally not my business.

Blueyed228 · December 2012

I changed my name.

Im not a fan of hyphenated names.

bananers · December 2012

I added my maiden name as a second middle name. I didn't want a hyphenated last name or two last names. I wanted to keep my maiden name as sentimental reasons, but I also like my middle name! So now I have four names: first, original middle, maiden-as-middle, last. DH has two middle names anyway, so I figured it wouldn't be weird if I did too. The only time it gets confusing is on some forms they only give you one space for a middle initial, so I default to my original middle.

If we have a son, I might consider giving him my maiden name as a middle name. But it sounds too masculine for a girl (even though I have it as a middle).

MAdams728 · December 2012

I am very traditional and conservative, so I changed my name as soon possible and was thrilled. I would even get thoroughly annoyed if someone forgot and used my maiden name at first ;-) I dont consider my maiden name to have anything to do with my identity, personally. I suppose I see it as a transition between childhood and adulthood. Twelve years later, I still love to get old fashioned invitations/correspondence that use the "Mr. and Mrs. Husband's First Last Name.

As I mentioned in the other thread, I know people that used their maiden as their middle after marriage, but that didnt even occur to me at the time, and I wouldnt have been interested in doing so.

DefiantRose · December 2012

I'm a bit of an oddball. My maiden name is an extremely common one, and DH just happened to have that same last name. Neither of us were born with the last name, I had been given my Mom's maiden name at an early age, and he took on his step-dad's name in jr. high. In any case, there weren't any ties to the two families until we were married.

I loved the look on the county clerk's face when we applied for the marriage license. It makes for a fun back story!

bananers · December 2012

DefiantRose:
I'm a bit of an oddball. My maiden name is an extremely common one, and DH just happened to have that same last name. Neither of us were born with the last name, I had been given my Mom's maiden name at an early age, and he took on his step-dad's name in jr. high. In any case, there weren't any ties to the two families until we were married.
I loved the look on the county clerk's face when we applied for the marriage license. It makes for a fun back story!

This is hilarious. I would totally mess with people and tell them I had married my cousin or something, just to see their reaction.

MrsJ723 · December 2012

MAdams728:

I still love to get old fashioned invitations/correspondence that use the "Mr. and Mrs. Husband's First Last Name.

When I receive mail from the DAR or Colonial Dames, it is always addressed to "Mrs.DH's First Last Name". I too like the old fashioned addressing

rebaann · December 2012

I did not keep my maiden name in any form.

burkems · December 2012

MrsJ723:
MAdams728:

I still love to get old fashioned invitations/correspondence that use the "Mr. and Mrs. Husband's First Last Name.

When I receive mail from the DAR or Colonial Dames, it is always addressed to "Mrs.DH's First Last Name". I too like the old fashioned addressing

All of MIL's bank statements, credit cards, etc. are "Mrs.FIL's First MI Last" because FIL had an uncle with the same name (spelled differently) and they didn't want there to be any confusion. It causes a lot of problems now, especially with traveling when they actually ask to see your ID because her DL has HER name on it but her CC has his name.

jstring88 · December 2012

I did not keep my maiden name. I guess I just looked at in the old fashioned way. You get married you take the new name and drop yours. I know there are a lot of people out there with very professional careers that have the hyphenated name or kept their maiden name all together. I just think it comes with getting married. Plus people can pronounce my married name. So its fine with me.

MommaG123 · December 2012

I changed mine.

lob · December 2012

nola78:
RachelandEduardo:
Nope, I kept my last name. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of completely giving up my name (a part of my identity). Also in academia, once you start publishing under one name its easier to just stick with it. I've recently considered hyphenating mostly so I share the last name as our baby. I'm still undecided...The feminist in me wants to just leave it alone and the more comments I get from women who are Horrified that I didn't take my husbands last name, the more I want to just keep things as they are.

So true. I talking to my advisor before changing my name and his advice was that I should do it ASAP if I was going to do it at all. I still "lost" a few publications, but at least I changed it before I finished my dissertation (so my married name is on my degree as well).

I'm also an academic, and decided to to put my maiden name as my middle name and then have a "professional" name with both last names. I had only one very minor publication and am still happy with my choice.

BrittKav · December 2012

My maiden name is now my middle name, and I dropped my old middle name. My dad passed away when I was a baby and I was his only child, so it was important to me to keep his last name in my name.

BeesMomma00 · December 2012

I changed mine immediately. While I didn't mind my name, I wasn't attached to it. I love my husband's last name and was happy to take it.

krwact · December 2012

MrsJ723:
The post below got me thinking-if you are married, did you keep your last name (either as a hypenated last name with DH's name or move it to your middle name)? If you're not currently married, do you think you'll keep your maiden name?

Although my dad was the last of his last name, neither my sister nor I kept our maiden name in any form. It is a one syllable German name that is rather harsh sounding (and constantly mispronouned), so I was happy to exchange it for a very common, multiple-pages-of-the-phone-book last name. My dad named me, so I still feel like I have a "name connection" with him even if I didn't keep his last name.

I wonder if your maiden name is my husband's previous last name. Same exact description!

For a variety of reasons, my husband and I decided to create a new last name together that we both took when we got married. We combined letters from our last names to create a new name and it's the perfect fit for us.

ruth*ann · December 2012

I kept my maiden name as my middle name. I didn't want to give up *any* of my names, though, so now I just have two middle names (my given middle name and my maiden name). Professionally, I'm (First Name) (Maiden Name) (Last Name).

HoolahZinger · December 2012

I changed mine right away...I was proud to be an official Mrs too. My maiden name is a common boy name so if we have a boy, his first name will be Todd. I think it's a neat way to honor my heritage.

flyliceandcoffee · December 2012

I changed my last name to my husband's new last name (he took his mother's maiden name before we got married, long story), for quite a few reasons (my favorite being the 3rd one):

1. My middle name is my grandmother's first name and I love it.
2. I already have two first names, so I couldn't see having two first names and either two middle or two last names
3. I hated the generic email addresses that colleges and work give you based on your name (first initial, last name) because it always came out to be a type of underpants and I was perfectly happy to never have to deal with that again.
4. My brother has two boys so he can keep the family name going strong
5. I have a very common "caucasian" last name now as compared to an Asian last name before, and I love the look on people's faces when they call out "mrs. lastname" and they see me answering. It always throws them for a loop and makes me giggle.

AggieKate · December 2012

My maiden name was fairly terrible- hard to pronounce and had lots of options for making fun of it (awesome combo!), so I was super excited to get rid of it and take my husband's nice normal, easy to spell name. I didn't even keep it as a middle name on my SS card. Sorry Dad (thankfully, he agrees its awful).

smrtalec33 · December 2012

Believe it or not, my husband's last name is the same as my first name. So, if I had changed my name, it would have been something like Kelly Kelley (that's not it, just giving an example). So naturally I did not change my name. But I wouldn't have anyways. I'm a journalist, and I've been published under the same byline all these years, so I wouldn't have wanted to write under a new name.

starshineamator · December 2012

I kept my maiden name. Still considering hyphenating it since we plan to hyphenate the baby's name. We had a lot of discussions about it. I wanted to keep my name because it is a link to my Italian heritage and that means a lot to me. I always wished that my name was MORE Italian so going by a fn-ln that isn't Italian at all depressed me. Spouse is fine with it too. We did consider choosing another name altogether for all of us (my cousin did that a few years back when she was pregnant with her first) but decided instead to stick with this.

smiles325 · December 2012

I changed my last name immediately at the SS office and then my drivers license was a few months later.

DH keeps nagging me to change the address on my email account because it's set up with first name initial, middle name initial and maiden full last name. He's like, "you're last name isn't that anymore". I know! But it's like the one thing I can hold on to that IS my maiden name. lol I gave him everything else! haha

MrsRKJ · December 2012

My maiden name is now my middle name. Although it's only changed that way in like, half of my documents

star510 · December 2012

I had no idea making your maiden name your middle name was so common.

On my dad's side of the family the tradition is to give the children the mother's maiden name as a middle name. Because of that both my sister and I had a very, long German middle name (my mom's maiden name). I never really liked the middle name so I decided when I got married I would change it. I didn't want to totally offend my family by making up something random for a middle name so I decided to make my shorter, and easier to pronounce maiden name my new middle name, and take my husband's name as my last name.

After I did that, I found out that my mom actually made her maiden name her middle name too. I never realized that because her old middle name and her maiden name start with the same letter, and she always signed her name with just the initial. So now I guess that's becoming a family tradition. Although my sister kept her middle name.

I'm definitely not giving my children my maiden name as their middle name. That's a tradition that can die out as far as I'm concerned.

lumosmaxima · December 2012

I changed my name, and fast. I actually think my married name sounds 100x better than my maiden name.

My mom kept her maiden name though after marrying my dad, and us kids were given my dad's last name. I respect her reasons but it was tough explaining growing up why my mom wasn't just "Mrs._", or telling our teachers 'no, our parents are NOT divorced'...but we also grew up in the conservative midwest where it was still very unusual.

stkmw02 · December 2012

I have had a hyphenated first name since birth, so I never expected to hyphenate my last name. However, pursuing a teaching certificate at the time of my marriage forced me to hyphenate... the state told me it was necessary to ensure my paperwork wouldn't be lost. Now I have first-first middle last-last.

I do really like my maiden name and use it for certain professional projects I work on, so I don't mind the hyphen for myself... but I am definitely not going to include my maiden name in my child's name. Baby will however be first-first middle last.

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