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dmndsr4eva
member
mediation issue...
dmndsr4eva
member
We met with the mediator twice in the past month. We finally agreed on every other Weds evening to Sunday. And as a compromise rotating the Sunday pick up time at 10 am one visit and 5 pm the next visit.
However apparently the mediator got confused and he put pick up as 10 am every visit (in my favor). Now I am not going to contact him as the mistake is in my favor. What if BD by some chance doesn't notice the mistake and the judge signs it? I'm really surprised I haven't gotten a call back from the mediator asking for clarification yet.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: mediation issue...
If you ever expect to establish TRUST with the man you chose to procreate with, I would suggest honesty.
If you agreed to rotate the pick up time, then rotate the pick up time.
You shouldn't need a paper or a mediator to make you do it.
XH and I have been split up for almost 7 years. I promise you that things get a LOT easier when both sides do what they say they'll do.
Well, I guess I was thinking that 5 out of 14 is a lot!
I would bet you a million dollars if the mistake was in his favor he wouldn't say anything and him and his GF would be the first to call the cops. I can assure you they are not interested in playing nice.
So you have 70/30 you think yet you still want to take more time from him by being sneaky. It is no wonder you two don`t get along.
It isn't 5 full days. It is Wednesday evening at 6 to Sunday morning at 10. I veiw that as more like 3.5 days.
ok
Totally agree. You will NEVER regret conducting yourself with integrity when dealing with an ex. Even if it's painful.
So put your big girl panties on, call and ask.
Who cares what your attorney wants, do what is best for your son. Call and ask what the deal is rather than trying to cheat him out of time, you agreed to.
It's an interesting compromise...especially if he is hoping for 50/50 later.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
If the judge signs it, that will be the legal order. But BD could drag you back to court over it.
Just ask yourself what you would hope he would do (not what he would do, because I know you guys have tension, but what you would want him to do) if it had been written in for 5pm every weekend. That's what you would consider the right thing to do, and that's what you should do. Be honest with yourself. I know it's hard in this kind of situation.
Glad things are almost ironed out.
They may not be interested in playing nice, but since you have 70 of the custody, you have 70 of the influence on you LO wouldn't it be nice to exemplify maturity, honesty and integrity for your child?
You are so transparent. You will never learn and no matter how many people tell you to put your son first and do the right thing, you won`t put aside your hatred to do so. You want them to "play nice, " well how about you try it first.
He probably will never get 50/50 because we live 1.5 hours apart plus he works an additonal 30 mins in the other direction. So my son's school will be 2 hours away from BD's work.
Well he will have to get him there on his days, won't he?
I plan to go back to mediation or court when my son starts school. He will not start kindergarten for about 2.5 more years. He will be nearly six when he starts kindergarten. I can't imagine a judge will expect my son to drive 1.5 hours each morning to get to school.
This x99999999999999999.
Dmnds, you are very bitter, and understandably so. Your DH left you for another woman, which is a sh*tty thing to do, and I would be pissed and resentful as well. But, you have to see past that and think about your DS. Regardless of what your STBXH has done, he is DS's BD, and DS will love him unconditionally. DS will WANT to spend time with him and have him play an active role in his life. It is not fair for you to play games and try to screw BD over. You know things were entered in wrong, and you should contact the mediator and/or BD to have the CO reflect what was actually agreed upon.
The only way I can see this working is if his parents who are retired bring my son to school and pick him up. But what are they going to do all day while DS is in school and would they be willing to wait around for hours more than one day a week if that? There is no way BD can do it. If he leaves his house at 6:30 am gets DS to school by about 8 am then turns around and drives back to work and gets there at 10 am then has to leave by 3 pm to pick up DS from say an after school program. No way. But even if him and his parents were willing to do that several days a month I could still argue in court that it isn't what is in the best interest of my son. I don't believe my son should have to endure 3+ hours in the car on a school day on a frequent basis. I would be willing to allow this maybe every other Friday or something minimal like that.