So tired of....

dawnj08 · December 2012

People telling me I'm not big enough. My sisters bachelorette party was last night and I was around a bunch of people I'd never met before and there was a time when there were around 8 people standing around me talking about how I was way too small and didn't look like I could be due in march.

I have Crohns Disease and have been worried about having an underweight baby and not being able to gain enough weight for my baby. I know they don't know abut these thing and probably don't realize what they're saying is making me worry even more, but it is still frustrating. I find myself pushing out my tummy to try to look more pregnant. Can't wait for my next dr appointment!!

yecal262 · December 2012

People and their damn comments! I'm sorry your dealing with that.

Kota26 · December 2012

I was at a wedding recently and one of my old coworkers commented "aw look at your tiny little bump!"

tiny!? TINY!?!

Why I outta....

MonsterBean3815 · December 2012

While I don't have your same health concerns, I can relate to being frustrated when people say I'm so small. I had a lady tell my I looked "3 months pregnant at most" the other day. Ugh. So these 20 lbs I gained are what exactly?!? Sorry you're feeling badly, but try to be thankful that you're not huge and uncomfortable yet.

fivefeetsmall · December 2012

I'm sorry you're going thru that. People should just keep their thoughts to themselves. Hang in there.

ninambutler · December 2012

I know how you feel. I don't have Chrons but I have hyperemesis and lost over 5 percent of my body weight. I just finally put that weight back on plus 1 pound. I have a bump but not as much as some people would expect I guess and I have next to no body fat left. It stresses me out because I am really struggling to eat enough calories and keep it all down to gain weight for this baby. I have a lot of guilt. I am in recovery from an eating disorder so a lot of people assume I am dieting myself down to keep from gaining any pregnancy weight and that hurts. Just try to ignore the insensitive comments. The only thing that matters is that your doctor is okay with your weight gain or lack thereof and that you and baby are healthy and happy.

sucrets4 · December 2012

People suck, but it doesn't end with pregnancy.

I realized that I didn't give two figs what people said when I heard that my preemie was "so big!" and "so small!" by strangers on the same day (she was probably around 6lbs when this happened). From then I just laughed it off.

Plus, everyone carries so differently, so you can't tell just by looking at someone.

acesup · December 2012

i know it's hard but try not to listen to them. people are idiots. i get the exact opposite (with this pregnancy and my last). i have had people call me huge, tell me i could stop traffic, that my doctors are wrong and there must be twins in there, that my due date is off by two months, and that i am way too big to be due in march.

the point is, everyone is different. every pregnancy is different. there is no right or wrong way to carry a pregnancy. as long as your doctor is not concerned then you have nothing to worry about. i am 25 weeks and people tell me i look like i am due tomorrow. i have seen others at 25 weeks that are barely showing. it's just how our bodies react to pregnancies.

i'm sorry you are dealing with that, but from one mom tired of hearing sh!t to another - tell them to shut the hell up!

(hug)

mccall35 · December 2012

I feel for you, I've had to deal with similar situations. I don't have Crohns, and I've actually gained quite a bit of weight. However, my younger sister, who is due at the same time and was about 30lbs heavier than me pre-pregnancy is VERY pregnant looking (she's gained weight everywhere, PLUS has a huge bump. So from my family and friends, I've been getting "wow you're sooo small, are you sure you're due in March". Are you kidding me? The worst is that I can't mention any aches and pains, because my sister has major back problems (self proclaimed) and "she has a reason to, because she is sooo very pregnant", whereas my bump is "soo tiny so there's no way that any aches and pains are related to pregnancy". Gah... only a few more months...

shellmh · December 2012

I've been getting the same exact comments! I have problems similar to Chrons, so it really bothers me when people say this because I already have a little voice in my head worrying that I'm not healthy enough for the baby. But every time I have a doctor's appointment, he tells me I am measuring (and gaining weight) perfectly, which really helps make me feel better. I also haven't felt super hungry (I actually have trouble finishing normal portions of food sometimes), so that just adds to me concern that I'm not eating enough. If you're concerned, talk to your doctor. He/she will be able to reassure you that you are right on track! At our last u/s, baby was even measuring slightly ahead (only a day, but still! It made me feel good!).

I agree with the pp's who said that people might think they're complimenting you/us when they say this.. maybe they're thinking that we must think we're huge, so by them telling us we're tiny they're making us feel better. I dunno. It hurts, especially when it's family members, or people who didn't know you were pregnant at all and you come waltzing in at almost 30 weeks pregnant and they tell you that you don't even look pregnant at all! Ugh.

DH thinks that some of it might be due to the clothes I've been wearing. I work from home, so I haven't bought too many maternity tops that flatter my bump. Instead I wear a lot of sweatshirts and long sleeve tees that I feel make it obvious I'm pregnant and not just fat, but who knows. It could also be that you've only gained in your belly, like I have, so you don't look pregnant everywhere else, like some people do.

ntvenson · December 2012

People are idiots, I'm hearing the opposite which is horrible as well. Twice this weekend I heard Ohhh A Christmas Baby how nice! I had to correct them and say no the baby's not due til march. One lady said Oh my goodness you are Huge! Are you kidding me? People should just shut up!

luvsdogs2 · December 2012

I've gotten to the point that I don't talk to anyone about anything pregnancy/baby related and if they say anything, I give short, one-syllable responses and change the subject. For some reason, everyone seems to think that they are entitled to give their opinion about something. And it's like "Really, I should listen to your opinion on epidurals and not my midwife's because you know someone that had one once. Sure."

As far as size goes, it's amazing to me the things people think are ok to say because I'm pregnant that they would never say to a non-pregnant person, like comments on weight gain or complexion. They need to be smacked upside the head.

So it's not just you, and don't let them make you feel bad, people just suck.

Mother Meghan · December 2012

I'm so sorry you're getting these comments, especially when you're worried about it Sad

It seems most of us are getting comments that we are either too small or too big. I don't think there is such a thing as "the perfect pregnant size".

mcooper014 · December 2012

People tell me that all the time too, I don't care what people say about that. I think they believe it is a compliment. My doctor says my fundal height is right on target so I'm not concerned if others think I'm small.

songs4drowning · December 2012

I always had this idea of being an adorable pregnant woman with a basketball belly and I get so jealous of seeing the HDBD pictures on here. Ha ha. I'm not showing either, except in one particular shirt and even then I sure as hell don't look 6 months pregnant. I get lots of comments. Someone asked, "Are you sure you're pregnant?" Um... do you want to see the ultrasound pictures? If this is an elaborate lie for attention on my part, I'm sure going to have a lot of explaining to do in March and to my insurance company, right?

I guess everyone gets dumb comments of some kind. If we weren't getting the comments that we are too small, we'd be getting them that we were OMG SO BIG and feeling bad about that. For some reason, everyone loses their minds when they go to talk to pregnant people. :P

Virginia&Joshua11052011 · December 2012

I don't have you health concerns, but I know people who do....I would just say something about well my doctor doesn't seem concerned. And know a few perfectly healthy woman that if you looked at them you couldn't really tell untill they were 6 months (lucky) and thier babies were very healthy!