Pregnant after a Loss

Vent About Late Third Tri (BMB)

I just can't take it anymore - I am so sick of the Dec BMB and all the whiny a** people complaining about still being pregnant at 38 weeks, like it is the end of the world. Did they not get the 40 week memo???? I have spent the last 38+ weeks myself trying to keep my LO happy and healthy and alive and I am not about to stomp my foot like a 2 year old who didn't get my way because I am still pregnant at 38 weeks. I am fully prepared to still be pg in 2 weeks, what is the BFD about going to 40 weeks? I guess I just don't get it.

People need to get that crap out of their head, IMO. 40 weeks is perfectly normal and in 99% of cases the baby will come when it is ready - I want to scream at them, I just can't take another "I am 38 weeks and dying" post. Yes, it is uncomfortable but it isn't like you were told it was only 37 weeks and end game.

Sorry - I had to get that off my chest - rant over...

Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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Re: Vent About Late Third Tri (BMB)

  • I've always found those posts to be strange as well. For some reason people think because you are "full term" and 37 weeks that means your baby will be born on that day or something. Someone needs to point out to them that it can be perfectly normal to go as long as 42 weeks in a healthy low risk pregnancy. I know my doctor wont let me go that far but that's because I am Not low risk. After a loss at 35w6d I'm still praying this lo makes it, uncomfortable or not I am so happy to still be pregnant.
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  • I have been avoiding our board for that very reason. Yes, I'm tired and beyond uncomfortable but I want my baby to grow and develop as long as possible. I already feel guilty enough that I'm being induced at 39w3d because of GD. I also feel guilty for being relieved that I have an exact end date to look forward to because it feels like my baby is being rushed.

    Don't let it get to you. Just enjoy your cooking baby and avoid our board.
    BabyFruit Ticker

    BFP #1 - 12/12/11 - Missed M/C 1/9/12
    BFP #2 - 4/5/2012 - Son Born 12/12/12
    BFP #3 - 2/2/2014 - EDD 10/16/2014
  • ::head desk::  I am so sorry that your BMB is full of whining ladies!  While I am not near where you are yet, I will be more than happy to make it to my EDD or past if it means I get a take home baby.  Sometimes I wonder if it's BMBs in general?  Mine is absolutely awful sometimes complaining about things or arguing over ridiculous things.  And while yes, I'm sure you are even a little uncomfortable by this point, I think what you have gone through leads you to cherish this time, regardless of your body aches.  hugs.

    TTC #1 since 5/2010 dx: annovulatory 

    RLP: 2/2012: normal HSG 3/2012: normal

     BFP #1 7/20/11 M/C 7/25/11. BFP #2 11/29/11 M/C 12/21/11

    I have two angel babies that I will see again one day

    BFP #3 10/27/12 EDD: 7/6/13

    Baby Emma arrived at 35 weeks by surprise on June 3rd, 2013!!


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    BFP #4: 5/23/14 EDD: 1/30/15  Emma's gonna be a big sister!

    Beta #1 19DPO: 213 Beta #2 21DPO: 674

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  • I'm not that surprised... when I was on Dec '12 back before my loss I remember a lot of crazies and a lot of extremely entitled and naive ladies. I'm sorry that it's getting you down!
    image


  • My mom went 43 weeks with me, so if this baby sticks around, I'm confident I am going to go 40+ weeks. After what I put my mom through, it's karma. That being said, I've been way whinier about first tri symptoms than I'd like to admit.
    K & M married 10.8.2011 *** BFP 7.17.2012, EDD 3.21.2013, Miscarriage at 6 wks 3 days *** BFP #2 11.7.2012, beautiful Tess born 7.11.2013
  • I hear you.... I lurked on my BMB and the second post was a huge eye roll... like that every time, so I don't even bother.

    And seriously?  I"m going to be so happy if I"m still pg at 38 wks!!

    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

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    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


  • My BMB is going through the gender disappointment phase...
    imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
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  • I understand where you are coming from...that is why/when I hang out here on PgAL!

    Though I DO understand the discomfort of third tri (just like I understood the misery of m/s during first tri), I always compare everything to the devastation I felt with my losses. (Ex: "Yeah well, don't complain about being pregnant....lots of other women out there would LOVE to be in your shoes!"). I've learned that when you view everything through that kind of lens, it's easy to get irritated at those who don't.

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  • It is already starting on the January '13 board and it is driving me crazy.  Yes, we are all uncomfortable and it is just going to get worse over the next month.  Some have mentioned being induced before 40 weeks because of discomfort.  I don't judge our late loss mamas for this, but I do judge a FTM who is doing it because she just doesn't want to be pregnant anymore. 

    When I start to get the, "ugh how much longer?" thought, I focus on the positives of pregnancy, like feeling my little girl wiggling around in there. 

    Also, I am sick of the, "Is this labor?!?!?!?!" posts. IDK, call your Dr. or go to L&D. 

    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • Can I add a rant about my friend here? She's 39 weeks and I think she's complained from the very beginning of her pregnancy and now she acts like she's dying. She doesn't say 'I can't wait to meet this baby', she says 'I can't wait to not have this bump'. Yea...I've had to bite my tongue quite a few times and sometimes I just couldn't.
    3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
    IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
    Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
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  • I have a really hard time with the Dec BMB since the beginning.  There is just too much drama and snark, imo and I am not surprised at all about the complaints.  I feel like with my other kids the boards were just nicer overall.  I rarely look on there and even more rarely comment on the posts.
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  • imageAmyLKorbal:
    Needless to say when my A/S revealed they were wrong and I am most definitely having a girl, everyone shouted and jumped for joy. It aggravated me because where was that excitement when she was a he? .

    Wow - seriously, that one takes the cake. My mom was also visibly disappointed when I told her it was a boy and still to this day says "You so need a little girl". I hope we are able to have one more and it is a boy again JUST to piss her off.

    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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  • imagePetraStonegirl:

    My take home from this post is that you are FREAKING 38 WEEKS PREGNANT!!!!

    Way to go!

    Funny Pictures - Cat Gifs 

    :

    Thanks! I am so stinkin happy I can't stand it!

    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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  • imagecrystal8503:
    I have been avoiding our board for that very reason. Yes, I'm tired and beyond uncomfortable but I want my baby to grow and develop as long as possible. I already feel guilty enough that I'm being induced at 39w3d because of GD. I also feel guilty for being relieved that I have an exact end date to look forward to because it feels like my baby is being rushed. Don't let it get to you. Just enjoy your cooking baby and avoid our board.

    Please don't feel guilty. You are doing what you and your dr have decided it best for your baby. You aren't having an elective c-sec to "get it out". Big difference IMO, and GL to you!!

    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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  • imagedelino:
    Can I add a rant about my friend here? She's 39 weeks and I think she's complained from the very beginning of her pregnancy and now she acts like she's dying. She doesn't say 'I can't wait to meet this baby', she says 'I can't wait to not have this bump'. Yea...I've had to bite my tongue quite a few times and sometimes I just couldn't.

    Total throat punch!

    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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  • Seriously!! I'm betting on 40 weeks. Anything less and I probably won't be ready. Ha. I need those two weeks!

    BPF 1. Baby Girl "Petri" 12/22/11 Said goodbye 12/27/11

    BPF 2. Baby Boy "Roo" 1/20/12 Heartbeat 160b/m 2/15/12 Said goodbye 2/20/12

    BPF 3. Rainbow Baby Boy "Creed"  4/28/12 Born healthy and alive 1/5/13

    BFP 4. "Rainbow 2.0" 8/17/14 due 4/28/15

     

    "Darling don't be afraid. I have loved you a thousand years. I love you a thousand more."

     

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  • imageJuddandJessica:
    Seriously!! I'm betting on 40 weeks. Anything less and I probably won't be ready. Ha. I need those two weeks!


    LOL, same here.  I am due Saturday and just now decided maybe it's time I at least write my list of things to pack for the hospital.  I understand feeling "ready", I have been there for about a week now, but I am in no rush for this baby to come out if he isn't ready. 
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  • That is super annoying.. I now with my last pg I was high risk the whole time.. MFM originally told me my goal was to stay pregnant past 26weeks.. Needless to say, once I got to 36 weeks I was SO happy because I had far surpassed the expectations!! At that time, I remember saying LO could come whenever he wanted now, because I was full term, and I was finally gong to spend the last few weeks not worrying.. DS was born at 38w via induction and cs because of Pre E.. He spent almost a week in the NICU.  Now, I know there's no promise that had he not been born a 38w he would have avoided NICU, but that's how I felt.. I was SO upset about his rough start.. I couldn't help but feel guilty, like if I hadn't needed t be nudged so many of his initial problems, and then lots of his other issues wouldn't have happened (he has terrible tummy issues.. Ped said could be from being a few weeks early..).. 

    Needless to say, this time around OB mentioned having to have a RCS a 38w again because the births will be exactly 1 year apart..  This is something I plan to fight fully.. I want this LO to come when he/she is ready.. No taking him/her early unless we absolutely have to.. !  I know it's not a guarantee that a 38w baby would be in the NICU (heck ive seen 35 weekers not need NICU), but after my experience I would tell anyone wishing fr an early birth to be careful what they wish for... Although I knew DS was going to be just fine, not being able to hold him, not being able to touch him without permission, not being able to nurse him, not having him with me in my rom.. It was such a sad start as a FTM! 

    Eta: nudged should read induced.. Dang iPad corrections!! 

    Loss #1: 18w5d.. D&E 04Mar03 BFP #2: Jun2011.. missed miscarriage. D&C 08Jul2011 8w4d. BFP #3: Nov2011.. Our Rainbow Baby!!! DS Born: 15Jul2012! BFP #4: Nov2012.. 2U1 - DS2 born 12Jul2013.  BFP #5: 01Jan2014..3U3!!

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  • imagePetraStonegirl:

    My take home from this post is that you are FREAKING 38 WEEKS PREGNANT!!!!

    Way to go!

    Funny Pictures - Cat Gifs 

     LOL!  This is exactly what I took away from this post too :)

    R - I totally feel that way too.  I remember on my BMB when ladies were bitching at the beginning of third tri how they were SO READY.  And yes, I agree at 37 weeks the posts seem to get out of control, like everyone thinks because full term is 37 weeks, they move their due date up three weeks and get pissed when they are 37 weeks and 2 days or whatever and they haven't had the baby yet.  It's like, UMMM?  Is this a huge news flash for you that pregnancy is 40 weeks?  I fully anticipated going 40+ weeks and certainly was not like, OK, BIRTHING TIME at 37 weeks and 1 day.  My only "advice" is I stayed away from my BMB when it started getting near the end because it was either people b*tching about how pregnant they were, or people announcing their babies' births (which I was happy for them but honestly it also just made me anxious like holy crap I'm going to be giving birth soon, HOLY FREAKING CRAP!!!!).  PGAL might be a better place to chill for now, if only for your sanity's sake.  Or just email me, bc I freaking love you. 

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    BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
     BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14.  4/27/14:  Our second take home baby is here!

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