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Sleep Associations

pandapepperonipandapepperoni
in Attachment Parenting

Hello! I am curious about your opinions on sleep assocations. I do a combo of nursing/slinging to sleep with my DS. DH can sling him to sleep but I almost always  have to help with the transition to bed and lay with him and nurse to make sure he stays down. He still wakes up 2 or more times in the night and will latch on and drift back off.

Do you think nursing to sleep will just become a non issue as he begins to wean himselft (whenever that may be) or have you contemplated trying to break the nursing sleep assocation?

Thanks!

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Re: Sleep Associations

  • ncbellencbelle member

    How old is he?  Personally I think those are both great sleep associations for an infant to have - both help him to sleep with the love and comfort of a caregiver.  As he gets older, you'll transition to different sleep associations - a bedtime story, a favorite stuffed animal, etc. - but for now those are perfect.

    Having two associations is super helpful as you won't be the only one who can get him down.  We also either nursed or wore kiddo's to sleep.  For both kids, they dropped nursing to sleep on their own around 1 and we gradually transitioned away from wearing to sleep (although I still choose to do it on occasion particularly when E is teething and having trouble getting to sleep).

    I'm assuming your baby is young?  When you begin to feel that what you are doing isn't really working for you anymore, then it's time to transition to something else.  The No Cry Sleep Solution has useful info on the nurse to sleep association and changing sleep associations that's worth reading. 



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  • DCMergedDCMerged
    I've been thinking alot about this as we started bedsharing about a month ago and now my baby nurses every 2-3 hours throughout the night (before we bedshared he woke up only 1 or 2 times). For me though he nurses himself to sleep but will unlatch himself so I'm not sure how to handle it. I feel like I'm creating a night snacker. Anyway, obviously I have no advice:)
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  • BransonsBeccaBransonsBecca member

    My thoughts are that nursing= feelings of security, calmness, warmth. All things that I personally want when I'm going to sleep. I have been nursing DD to sleep since day 1. I have no intention of stopping anytime soon. If that's what she needs to feel safe enough to fall asleep, then I don't want to take that away from her. I do not feel as if I am creating a future problem. I mean, I do think about it, but then I just think, "She's a baby! She's been out in the world for only 4 months! She's supposed to want to be near me all the time and get all those good feelings."

    FWIW, I enjoy watching her fall asleep nursing. It's my favorite part of the day. Smile

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  • Izybel18Izybel18 member

    You may not get a choice :P DH and I were talking about this the other day. Every time I see MIL she talks about DD packing a suitcase and coming to stay overnight. I think "not unless you can nurse her!!" So sometimes I feel pressure to prevent DD from nursing to sleep and back to sleep when she wakes up. But really, the only other option is tears and crying. I don't want to put DD though that, so I nurse to sleep. It works and she's a very happy baby. MIL can wait for her little sleepover :)

    Also wanted to say that within the last few weeks, DD has been rolling away from me at night and seeking her own space. I've done nothing to change our routine, she's doing it on her own. I think it will just happen as she's ready. 

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  • Meg&JesseMeg&Jesse
    well it has been awhile since ds1 is 4 and 1/2 now.  I remember nursing to sleep was one of the last nursing sessions he dropped (and he self weaned at 22 months).  But we always had a "routine"...bath, books, talk about the day, hugs, and then nurse.  When he stopped nursing we continued the rest of the routine.  It must have been somewhat of a smooth process because I dont recall any major issues once he stopped nursing.  
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  • sucredeesucredee member

    DD is 2.5 and stopped nursing to sleep a long time ago (don't remember when, probably around 15-18 months) but she still nurses the last thing before she goes into her crib. Unless she is exhausted (from skipping naps usually) she nurses until she is done and will go into her crib awake and talk /sing herself to sleep. 

    I don't have a problem with it so I continue to do it. It settles her down. I don't have time for baths at night because she wouldn't make it to bed until 9 or 10. So that is our relaxing wind down time.  She still wakes up about once a night although she is starting to have ore SSTN night now as well. It works for us. She falls asleep at daycare without any problem for naps and t home I do actually nurse her to sleep for that. DH pretty much never puts her to bed since she still nurses but I'm ok with that. On the rare occasion he does put her to bed she usually does Ok. 

    Do what works for you. If you don't want to nurse to sleep anymore that is fine but DD sort of outgrew the nursing to sleep part on her own (but still wants her "milkies" before bed) If all parties involved are happy with the situation I see no reason to stop it (although I'm sure some people would disagree) 

     

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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    imagesucredee:

    DD is 2.5 and stopped nursing to sleep a long time ago (don't remember when, probably around 15-18 months) but she still nurses the last thing before she goes into her crib. Unless she is exhausted (from skipping naps usually) she nurses until she is done and will go into her crib awake and talk /sing herself to sleep. 

    I don't have a problem with it so I continue to do it. It settles her down. I don't have time for baths at night because she wouldn't make it to bed until 9 or 10. So that is our relaxing wind down time.  She still wakes up about once a night although she is starting to have ore SSTN night now as well. It works for us. She falls asleep at daycare without any problem for naps and t home I do actually nurse her to sleep for that. DH pretty much never puts her to bed since she still nurses but I'm ok with that. On the rare occasion he does put her to bed she usually does Ok. 

    Minus the crib, this is us.  At some point, she stopped nursing to sleep at night, all on her own, but still nurses before going to sleep.  She doesn't go down super easy (it takes her a while and she likes to call us in, blah blah blah), but she doesn't cry.  She also still wakes up a few times a night.

    Every kid is different.  Is it really so bad to have sleep associations that you are absolutely certain she will grow out of?  (Seriously, she's not going to drag you to her college dorm room so she can nurse to sleep when she's 20.) 

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  • pandapepperonipandapepperoni
    imageTiffanyBerry:
    imagesucredee:

    DD is 2.5 and stopped nursing to sleep a long time ago (don't remember when, probably around 15-18 months) but she still nurses the last thing before she goes into her crib. Unless she is exhausted (from skipping naps usually) she nurses until she is done and will go into her crib awake and talk /sing herself to sleep. 

    I don't have a problem with it so I continue to do it. It settles her down. I don't have time for baths at night because she wouldn't make it to bed until 9 or 10. So that is our relaxing wind down time.  She still wakes up about once a night although she is starting to have ore SSTN night now as well. It works for us. She falls asleep at daycare without any problem for naps and t home I do actually nurse her to sleep for that. DH pretty much never puts her to bed since she still nurses but I'm ok with that. On the rare occasion he does put her to bed she usually does Ok. 

    Minus the crib, this is us.  At some point, she stopped nursing to sleep at night, all on her own, but still nurses before going to sleep.  She doesn't go down super easy (it takes her a while and she likes to call us in, blah blah blah), but she doesn't cry.  She also still wakes up a few times a night.

    Every kid is different.  Is it really so bad to have sleep associations that you are absolutely certain she will grow out of?  (Seriously, she's not going to drag you to her college dorm room so she can nurse to sleep when she's 20.) 

    Ha ha, very good point!! Thanks for all of your opinions. The truth is I don't see an issue with it but have a lot of others giving me grief about creating problems and it made me start to doubt myself. And like PP my MIL and mother for that matter are always asking when they will get a sleep over or when I'm going to leave him. I've only left him once because I had no choice (gallbladder surgery). DS is only 7 months, so I'm in no rush!

    Thanks again :)

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