Going back to work

piedpiper07 · December 2012

So today is my last day as a SAHM. I have been looking for a job for 2 years since I graduated university that was career-worthy. I just landed my dream job (including literally a quadruple in salary). The only downside to taking it is that I have to start Monday. I know that I am lucky to have had 6 months at home, as I know lots of people don't get much time, especially you guys in the US. I am pretty comfortable with the decision, also because DH will take the remaining 6 months of leave, and his paternity pay is $600 a month more than I made. Basically our financial struggles have effectively been ended. So this is definitely the right decision for us and I am excited!

BUT. I know that I will miss DS so much. It's not helping that I am getting all sorts of "he is only 6 months old!!" with a sadface, type of comments. They are pretty guilt inducing. I realize that I am choosing work over staying home, and when you put it like that it seems awful. Ugh. How did you ladies get yourself together when you had to go back to work?

Ladiebug710 · December 2012

Going back to work was hard, but the adjustment was actually much better than I had thought it would be. Whenever I thought about having to be away for that long I was in tears. The closer it got the more anxiety I had, but actually on my first day back I did ok. I didn't cry at all. I was just really really excited to leave and see LO at the end of the day. Some days have been harder than others, but it does get better. Don't feel guilty. Having a successful career is just one of the ways you are doing what is best for your family.

mundayem · December 2012

I went back when DS wasn't quite 3 months old yet and it was really hard leaving my little squishy baby at home. But I'm a better mother because I work. Yes the money is important for our family but I like working and getting out of the house. It's good for me to have the adult interaction and have a life separate from my child. And my son is watched by family so he's not in daycare. I cried the first day I went back but I kept telling myself that he was being well cared for by people I trusted and I was doing what was best for all of us. GL!

xleslieraex · December 2012

Ladiebug710:
Don't feel guilty. Having a successful career is just one of the ways you are doing what is best for your family.

This. You had an amazing 6 months with your little guy. Now it's daddy's turn.

Some moms weren't made to be SAHM's, there is nothing wrong with working & enjoying yourself.

piedpiper07 · December 2012

xleslieraex:
Ladiebug710:
Don't feel guilty. Having a successful career is just one of the ways you are doing what is best for your family.

This. You had an amazing 6 months with your little guy. Now it's daddy's turn. Some moms weren't made to be SAHM's, there is nothing wrong with working & enjoying yourself.

Very true. Its just always awkward to explain this to someone who thinks all moms should SAH.

adoxyinherear · December 2012

You're making a great decision!! It sounds like it's going to be wonderful, and your DS will still have his daddy around, which is awesome. Really hope the transition to work is an easy one.

FmrAFBrat · December 2012

I'm jealous your DS has his daddy. Really though the transition was hard, but I made (& am making it work). I like getting out & getting adult interaction and I think Landon likes having other LOs to play with during the day. I did allow my MIL to watch LO in the beginning at that made it very stressful (She was anti-BF, thinks carseats are gimmicks, and did all kinds of things I told her not to-including letting a 3 month old on the floor with 3 dogs) so I was happy to get a call from one of the daycares I had been on the wait list for.

Now, I am fortunate to be getting a new position (1st of the year) where I'll be closer to him and can drop by at lunch.

I hope it all works out for you.

ellebelle2384 · December 2012

All these ladies had great advice. You are doing what is best for your family. It's so tough in the beginning. I went back at 7.5 weeks pp and I cried every day driving to work for a week. But it gets better, and you enjoy the time with your LO so much more because it seems so valuable. GL on the transition back!

piedpiper07 · December 2012

Thanks ladies for all the great advice! I'm hoping the transition will go ok. I know the one day I was away from DS I came home and was totally focused on loving him. To me that is a positive ill try to focus on. When I'm home well have real quality time together.

JulyMomma2U2 · December 2012

It's definitely a transition.. I had a really tough time the first week, but like you, it was the wisest decision for my family. DH and I have equal salaries.. we are both career "professionals". And, our lifestyle is based off of both our salaries.. cutting one out would mean moving, changing our lifestyle, etc. We decided that's not what would be best for us, and for DS now and in the future.. we both grew up in families that struggled to make ends meet.. we wanted to be able to lavish DS -- take family vacations, have savings for his education, etc.

Regardless to all of that.. it was STILL very hard for me. Now that we are pregnant again, we've already discussed me cutting back to P/T work once LO#2 comes.

I hope Monday goes great for you! It took me about a week to really get into the swing of things.. and, like you said, when I came home every night, my time with DS was THAT much more special

vflipo · December 2012

((hugs)) You'll get through it. I went back to work when DD was 8 weeks old. A lot of people asked who was watching her, if it was hard, etc etc. Personally, I'd rather be a working mom. I'm not cut out for the SAHM gig.

SharonB222 · December 2012

US side, I took 4 mos LOA (leave) for maternity which is near unheard of here. When I returned working 40 hrs at a high stress job was hard for me - I did it 1 month then negotiated for reduced hours (32h/wk) which is good for my old bag of bones (40 yrs old, that sleep deprevation is hard!). I am ecstatic as I feel I have the near the best of both worlds --- I financially support us 90%; DH is a PT SAHD and I spend two afternoons each week with DD. In the 1st year I spent every day with DD: for my business (and personal) trips DH came as "manny" with DD. DD has been to Washington DC, New York City, Orlando, Cleveland, West Virginia and Mexico. She is an easy-going, happy toddler. I am an energetic, happy mommy. Wishing you well!

BTW - My mom always said it was a mistake for her to be a FT SAHM. I think I could do it, I would like to at some point, but in the meantime we've found a happy compromise. GL.

zombiemommy · December 2012

Don't feel bad! By making a good financial decision, you are thinking of your DS.

Btw, this just makes me realize how screwy America is. I'm taking 12 weeks; I'm not paid for half of it at all, and that's still considered a fairly long leave. Just another way in which we fail culturally and values-wise.

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