Blended Families

CS ?...need positivity!

Our lovely BM has had her lawyer now request dh's last paystub and w2...we all know what that means...we assume shes wanting an increase in child support. She happens to do this 2 weeks before our ds is due...seriously!!!!! So they have a joint parenting agreement in the co. no custodial parent is named anywhere. We do keep exact calendars of the days of the childrens schedule which works around her work schedule and we only find out maybe 2 weeks prior to the start of. She makes pretty good money. she makes more hourly I believe than dh but ultimately he makes more because of his overtime
policeofficer. I was wondering if anyone has any advice and or positive thoughts for us in this time of stress during the holidays and our new baby. Emotionally im struggling behind closed doors. Trying to stay positive for dh though.

Re: CS ?...need positivity!

  • Oh and according to our monthly calendars we keep, dh has custody 4550 every month. It varies. She refuses to agree to a set schedule. And the calendar woukd show we take the kids to more of their extracirricular activities and feed them more meals than she does. not sure if judges pay attention to those kinds of things but im hoping. Oh and she also committed a domestic battery against dh back in jan or feb last winter which he opted not to press charges against her to
    keep her from losing her rn license and job and so the kids wouldnt be affected...even though she did it front of them...think a judge may look at that also?
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  • I thoight that about overtime also. But just wasnt sure. I told dh he needs to take his time...she sure does when it comes to agreement for anything or any questions he has.
  • I'm pretty sure all overtime/bonuses/etc counts for CS calculation. You asked about extracurriculars and meals, and I don't think any of that counts.

    I can only speak for FL since that's the state that handled my CO, but they were only interested in the number of overnights each year.

    If YH did not press charges against her for the domestic battery, then I think it would just be her word against his. If you don't have any proof of the occurrence, I would not bring it up in court.  

    It sounds like you guys need to start documenting everything. =( 

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  • Ohio law says that everthig you do for the kids(meals, extra curriculars ect) does not count towards child support. With a baby due he can claim an extra dependant, my feeling is she knows this so she wants to catch cs before he can claim less because an extra dependant.

    The schedual/calandar does help your case however a domestic battery does not especially if he didn't press charges...

    IAmPregnant Ticker}
  • A police report was taken/written up. Him being a police officer himself definitely knew better than that. Just didnt press charges. Child services here even made a visit to her home over the occurance so its been documented. So if we wait things out for the new year, and he claims our LO, it will favor us? He has an excellent family attorney bit im just always curious to ask on this board since some of you have been through it before.
  • Depends on the state, but in mi:

    1. New dependents are factored in

    2. Overtime/bonuses are not unless they are a consistent thing.

    3. The number of overnights is what counts not meals.


    My advice? Wait til the new year but also Perdue getting a set court ordered schedule of 50/50.
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  • imageJessys_Girl:
    Depends on the state, but in mi: 1. New dependents are factored in 2. Overtime/bonuses are not unless they are a consistent thing. 3. The number of overnights is what counts not meals. My advice? Wait til the new year but also persue getting a set court ordered schedule of 50/50.

    The bold. Why is DH putting up with not knowing the schedule until 2 weeks before? Why is he letting BM call the shots? She won't agree to a set schedule? Go to court and get a set schedule, and then there's nothing BM can do about it. 

    image
  • His attorney has always said pick your battles wisely. The set schedule was brought up in the last mediation and she turned her nose up again. She also turned her nose up to free childcare from dh's father and my father may sound weird but her family actually has known my family dor years. shes nuts I think. I guess im hoping a judge sees what shes doing by wanting more money right when we are having our new baby. Dh just cant put forth all that money for court fees but I guess right now we will be digging into our savings to settle this stuff...
  • Over time and bonus and even second jobs count onto cs calculations. A new bany doesn't factor in any way.
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  • This totally depends on the state. Our state calculates based on a certain percent per child based on the NCP's income only (including OT, bonus, multiple jobs) regardless of the time spent with the child(ren). Subsequent children do slightly reduce the order in my state but it's not much and its not enough to qualify for a reduction on it's own, it would need to be accompanied by an income change to be enough of a change for the court to review.
    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

  • well the battles he's passed on have been a little more minor, or at least to the point that he doesn't want to create so much drama because she'd rather go to her lawyer than discuss things with him...the scheduling thing he's tried working with her personally and i believe he thinks in the future a judge is going to see how many times she refuses and doesn't take the children into consideration about it and that it will help him. I personally think a judge will automatically think the scheduling is nuts as is and order a set schedule anyway. but at this time he will probably tell his attorney to go ahead and look into fighting for one if she is going to fight for more money.

    His attorney asked him today how many overnights he has them in a 14 day period. it is 6 nights. sometimes its 7 or sometimes its 5 but its rare for it to be different than 6. the days are just very inconsistent. every week is very different. only the weekends are the same but even those sometimes start on a thursday and sometimes start on a friday. we never know until she gives us a work schedule. the last day we have a schedule for from her currently is December 27th. we only know we get the kids new years eve because of the holiday schedule. he keeps EVERY email between the two of them so we can sit and nitpick about every little thing that sucks but will all the complaining really do anything?? a judge wants the facts. thats all.

    i am just hoping she can't get more money from him. she's very vindictive and for her to all of a sudden want/need more money as we are getting ready to have our baby...if he were an every other weekend dad we would understand...but in their CO...it even says that he is to supply school uniforms and everything for the children at his home for his custody days and we do. She doesn't send us anything to keep from having multiples of things. the kids just end up with 2 of everything it seems like. He had to contact her about sporting equipment this past fall. she wasn't sending things and we had to go buy stuff last minute. the only thing she sent was spikes for SD because WE purchased them in the summer for another sport! sorry....starting to vent now....

     

  • imageKarma1969:
    Over time and bonus and even second jobs count onto cs calculations. A new bany doesn't factor in any way.

    This depends on your state. Iowa factors in a new dependent, and Iowa will take into consideration if your DH is ont guaranteed over time.

     

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