social workers...

Tiffany946 · December 2012

Do they ever plain just drive you crazy?? We are dealing with several social workers right now and I gotta say

1. they are next to impossible to get in touch with.

2. they never answer their office or cell phones, it always goes to voicemail.

3. it takes DAYS for them to respond to an email.

4. they honestly are making my life miserable....

I gotta say the BM that we have been matched with is FANTASTIC and a rock star, but all of these counselors are driving us BOTH insane!

elissaann26 · December 2012

They are the reason we are unsure if we will foster again. I totally get that they are over-worked and under-paid, but they had to know that going in. And as a foster parent, I found it horrendous how the children can suffer from their lack of responsiveness/action/input. And it kinda kills when I hear that this is a consistent problem because it doesn't give me much hope that next time (if there is one) will be any better.

Dr.Loretta · December 2012

We gave ours a little slack because she was the only one in her office, so she did it all. But she still got back to me within 48 hours.

I just contacted her multiple times until she responded

JennaNAaron · December 2012

elissaann26:
They are the reason we are unsure if we will foster again. I totally get that they are over-worked and under-paid, but they had to know that going in. And as a foster parent, I found it horrendous how the children can suffer from their lack of responsiveness/action/input. And it kinda kills when I hear that this is a consistent problem because it doesn't give me much hope that next time (if there is one) will be any better.

This...if this kids we are fostering go back home (which is still up in the air at this point), we've already decided that the whole process in general is ridiculous and we won't do it again. Our social worker only responds when we cc our worker or his supervisor on messages.

IRR · December 2012

Sorry that most Social Workers stink, but I must stand up for our HS social worker because she ROCKS! She gets back to us usually within hours when we have had a question and sometimes that is at 10pm at night. We were scared to get the "cliched" social worker, but ours gets two thumbs up.

Foster1Mom · December 2012

We have a 50/50 with our cw's. One is great and one I want to strangle. I have learned she prefers email so email it is. Plus that gives a paper trail. It is soooo frustrating dealing with her but we have no choice. Honestly, if this guy leaves the best part is she goes with him.

CaptainSerious · December 2012

The sad fact is that most are underpaid and many are overworked, neither of which fosters a great work ethic if it's not already there. I think that the truly great adoption/foster social workers are great because they are so invested in improving the lives of the children they work with/for. The rest might still have the same goals but have so many other stressors and everyday life complications that their passion fades.

[Deleted User] · December 2012

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cadgirl · December 2012

elissaann26:
They are the reason we are unsure if we will foster again. I totally get that they are over-worked and under-paid, but they had to know that going in. And as a foster parent, I found it horrendous how the children can suffer from their lack of responsiveness/action/input. And it kinda kills when I hear that this is a consistent problem because it doesn't give me much hope that next time (if there is one) will be any better.

With the first kids we fostered, we were loaned to a private agency while DHS held our license. That caseworker seriously stunk! And there were a lot of things that we had to do that we thought were normal. However, once we got our current placement through DHS, I have been so amazed at the difference... for the good. We've said that if we're ever asked to be loaned to the private agency we were with, the first question we'll ask is who the worker is, and if it's the same one... NO WAY!

lizlemon2 · December 2012

Social worker checking in. I think like every job, there are great ones and there are bad ones. I have now seen both sides. I know when you are trying to adopt, you want everything to happen - yesterday.

As a social worker, I can say we are not in the office all the time. We can not be in court, doing home visits, transports and also tied to our desk answering or returning calls. We may have a kid sitting right by our desk waiting for placement, and can't really talk. There are not many social workers who intentionally ignore e-mails or calls.

The best I can say is:

Leave another message.

Try the supervisor. They are just more likely to be in the office. I know in my case, I do not get in trouble for people calling my sup.

Be honest with your social worker that you would like a call back, even if it is just for them to say they don't know anything. In Social work, the social workers are pretty much the minions and may be waiting for answers from higher ups before they get back to you.

Politeness and appreciation goes a long way as well.

orangecupcake · December 2012

Another social worker here. I have never worked in adoption/foster care, but there are times I can't return a call for a few days. Are you able to email your sw? I tell people it's so much easier for me to get back to them via email than by phone.

In my realm of social work, I try very hard to get people to understand that I can't give time frames or estimates, because I don't know what each day will be like, things change minute by minute.

Now, our adoption sw was ah-mazing! She was extremely on top of things, and if I didn't hear back from her I would either call or email her again.

Neener73 · December 2012

elissaann26:
They are the reason we are unsure if we will foster again. I totally get that they are over-worked and under-paid, but they had to know that going in. And as a foster parent, I found it horrendous how the children can suffer from their lack of responsiveness/action/input. And it kinda kills when I hear that this is a consistent problem because it doesn't give me much hope that next time (if there is one) will be any better.

This. We were so frustrated by the social worker's inconsistency about the future for our foster children from month-to-month. Then any time we had any problems with either the kids' behaviors or the parents' behaviors, we were always told, "You're doing a great job. Just keep doing what you're doing." Hmmm...not helpful.

During the 3 1/2 years we were foster parents, we didn't have major issues with the kids or their families. (We still have regular contact with one family and occasional contact with another family.) Our biggest problems were always with the social workers and GALs. It really makes me sad that the people who are paid to represent the best interests of the children don't stand up at all for the children.

elissaann26 · December 2012

Neener73:

This. We were so frustrated by the social worker's inconsistency about the future for our foster children from month-to-month. Then any time we had any problems with either the kids' behaviors or the parents' behaviors, we were always told, "You're doing a great job. Just keep doing what you're doing." Hmmm...not helpful.

During the 3 1/2 years we were foster parents, we didn't have major issues with the kids or their families. (We still have regular contact with one family and occasional contact with another family.) Our biggest problems were always with the social workers and GALs. It really makes me sad that the people who are paid to represent the best interests of the children don't stand up at all for the children.

OMG! Amen to the bolded sections! This exactly!

To the SW's who commented- Thank you SO much for your insight. I always feel like I have NO clue what the other side is like. And I really want to hear from any social worker to get their perspective.

When we were super frustrated, we actually asked our SW to explain their pain points hoping this would give us a better understanding so we wouldn't be so frustrated. We were told that they are so busy that they don't have time to explain things to us. And this is when I got angry. How are we supposed to work as a team if they are not even willing to talk to us or explain things to us? So you don't think I'm completely crazy, we were asking for them to explain to us how the transition of our foster boys home would work. We weren't expecting specific dates or times since we knew that wasn't official yet, just a general overview of what things would look like.

I have actually told our SW that I expect emails/phone calls/etc to be returned in 48 to 72 hours. I completely get that they aren't at their desk regularly and last minute things can come up. But it still drives me nuts when we were dealing with significant behavior and not hearing anything for over a week after repeated phone calls and emails.

I also asked each SW on our case their preferred method of communication. And told them that if there was ever anything we could do differently that would help them to please let us know- and that was sincere offer. We never heard any suggestions.

While I think some foster parents have unrealistic expectations of social workers, I felt our expectations were within reason. We expected them to consider the children's best interest first and foremost. This was not done on numerous occasion where policies were broken, the court order was violated and laws were even broken. A few examples: carseats not used properly, medical conditions not treated resulting in ER visits, not enforcing agency rules at family visits.

We did escalate those problems. And when the supervisor's supervisor did nothing, we skipped all the way to the top. Let's just say that guy wasn't happy and MAJOR action was taken. This was great to see that all of our concerns were legitimate and then we were assigned to a well-respected SW, who we also had considerable issues with- although she was MUCH improved from our previous SW. Now we are left feeling like we will always be fighting against the system for what these children deserve. And honestly, it is SO exhausting. We signed up to be foster parents with the thought that the majority of our job would be parenting- not hounding SW's to do their job.

I say all of this because I want to hear of success stories where things went more smoother- not expecting them to be perfect. Or ways that people were more effective in dealing with SW/situations similar to those I described. Or maybe more insight from SW so I can realign my expectations.

I really want to foster again for the kids' sake, but I'm not sure I am willing to constantly fight the system to do so. Ugh!

maryoosa · December 2012

As a public servant, I get the overworked issues. But I've started to play a game called "What would happen if I behaved like X in my job?" and so far, when it comes to dealing with social workers, (and my mom is a social worker and family therapist, so no prejudice here ), but basically, in my job, if I didn't return emails, answer phone calls, and get back to people within a reasonable time frame (and sorry folks, it's 2012, reasonable time frame is about 5 hours) I'd be fired.Plain and simple. I try to give a break, but it's getting old. And perhaps this is because my latest gripe is that my social worker is trying to tell me she never received our 1040 (huh, funny, 'cause she got everything else that was in the same packet). So now, I have to try to track her down which is going to be at least a 3 day process. It's just frustrating.

edaire · December 2012

As a social worker for the state, I have to apologize for your negative experiences. I wish the system was a perfect one and that everything could go smoothly. As a social worker and a person who is in the process of a domestic adoption, I can comment on both sides of this. As a potential adoptive parent, the process is grouling, long, time consuming, emotional, and at times down right frustrating. Many people do not understand the job description of a social worker. I know I didn't whenever I started my job four years ago. My job is to see every child in my caseload in their home once a month (many times after hours because the children are in school and/or the foster parents work), meet with biological parents at least twice a month (sometimes 3 times, depending on the risk level), coordinate all services and service providers, often times provide transportation for children and or/biological parents to visits and appointments, and court hearings), complete 5-6 page court reports and court orders for every family in foster care, testify at court hearings (if I have court one day that means we are in court the WHOLE day and we are not allowed to have cell phones in the court house), handle any and all placement disruptions with foster children, attend all school meetings for children (parent teacher conferences, IEP meetings), maintain case records on every family that is subject to review at any time, staff every case with our supervisor monthly, supervise family visits, and the list could go on forever. You are absolutely right that we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we started, but someone has to do this job. We are not perfect, we are human. I pray every day that someone could fix our broken system and allow us time to sit in our offices and wait for the phone to ring. I pray that one day I will be able to focus my time and attention on what truly matters, our children. The reality of it is not that pretty. It's hard, absolutely thankless, DANGEROUS, and never ending. I don't think that people understand the danger of our job either. Personally, I have had my life threatened more times than I care to count and I've been thrown against the wall by a parent high on PSP that was twice my size. You may ask why we stay in this job? Well, it's the good times. The wonderful foster parents that have their dreams of parenthood come true, the adoption finalizations, the reunification of a family, a child or parent thanking me for the work that I did, seeing a child safe and thriving in a home. Please remember that we should all have the same goal in mind: do what's in the best interest of the children. It's not about us, it's about them. Every social worker has a supervisor. If you cannot contact your social worker, contact their supervisor. They do not do field work and are in the office most of the time to handle questions/problems that come up in a case. Please utilize that resource. Again, I am truly sorry for these negative experiences. We cannot imagine what foster parents go through on a daily basis. I hope and pray that things will improve all of you that are experiencing problems with social workers. Best of luck to you all

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