Disabled parent (my DH) please help me cope. — The Bump
Military Families

Disabled parent (my DH) please help me cope.

Hello, my husband is not in the military but I posted on the SAHM broad and someone suggested posting over here to see if anyone here had any ideas for me.

My DH has had 2 back surgery's with the second one they built a steal cage in his back. That was about 3 years ago. We just found out that he has another break in his back and the doctors want to go back in and take the cage out and re-break his back and start over. We have decided to put that off as long as possible as it is only 50/50 that it will work and if not he may not walk. But with wait that also mean the day could still come that he wont walk. Our DD is just under 9 months they told him to stop lifting on her and anything else. I knew he had a back back from day 1 but now with this and have our DD I am having a hard time with it. I can't imagine my DH not being able to walk and do all this think with DD that he wants to. I know there are lots of families out there with disabled parents and I know it can be done. But does anyone know of a board/support group for this kind of thing.

I would like to also say thank you to all of you and your families for serving our country. 

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Re: Disabled parent (my DH) please help me cope.

  • Thank you, so far no one has any ideas on a support group but someone did suggest talking to his doctor to see it they had one. So that is my plan for now.
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  • Strange that I thought to browse the Military board today... and found this.

    FI is a navy vet, and has back issues, unexplained pain that nothing can seem to fix. It's affecting every aspect of our lives. He's not supposed to lift the kids, he got fired from his previous job because his attitude was too negative (it's hard to be sunshine and butterflies when you're dealing with chronic pain and no answer), and the majority of house/child stuff gets put on me because he's in pain too much and needs to ice his back. Multiple doctors haven't been able to figure out what it is. And now the VA is refusing to pay for the tens of thousands of dollars of treatment they had previously ok'd.  

      So although our men's disabilities are different, but I can understand the burden on you. 

    I too am looking for a support group, and haven't been able to find anything. I can suggest though that finding time for therapist appointments may be helpful. Also, don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about depression and anxiety. There is no shame in getting medications for those things.

    Good luck to you, and I hope your husbands medical problems sort out ok.

    Me: 29  DH: 33
    Married April 1st 2017 <3
    DS #1: May 2009 
    DS #2: Jan 2012 

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