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"I don't know how you leave him..." (vent)

cville-rncville-rn
in Working Moms

I hear this at least once a night at work and I am getting so tired of it. Yes my son is only 3 months old and yes I still work part time nights. It seems that most of my co-workers took off years when their kids were little and just cannot fathom how I can leave him home with his dad at night.

I always reply with "baby needs health insurance". But honestly I have wanted to be a nurse since I was 15 and I really dont want to give it up. Plus my husbands relationship with the baby is AMAZING since I went back to work. And being away a night or 2 a week does wonders for my sanity.

Ok vent over. I'm just tired of defending "leaving him"...sigh

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Re: "I don't know how you leave him..." (vent)

  • RoxyLynnRoxyLynn member

    Nurses, like doctors and teachers and other professions, have a calling from God to do what they do.  I say that as the daughter of an ER nurse (30 years, she now teaches nurses).  Mom explained to me at a very young age that she needed to be a nurse to be happy - it's part of who she is.

    And my sister (mother of 3) and I are now in healthcare fields as well.  Just working part-time really doesn't take you away that much.  I'd just look at them quizzically, as if they'd just said an alien had stolen their soup from the fridge, and smile politely and move on with my day.

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  • JulieRNbrideJulieRNbride

    I am also an RN who works part time night shift, and went back when DS #2 was 13 weeks....I had numerous coworkers say, "Can your husband handle being home with two kids, then taking them to daycare in the morning?" Umm, he has no choice; he HAS to do that. I also had my father say to me once, when I switched to doing all weekends, "Well, now you know DH won't get a break....he has to work Monday through Friday and have those two boys all weekend! Wow, that would be tough!" I replied, "Well, I have those boys all week for school, preschool, errands, and such, then I work night shift every weekend. DH has a perfectly clean house and all laundry done and a fridge full of food come Friday night....who has the better deal here, honestly?"

    It is nice that we can work nights and weekends and part time without taking a huge pay cut. I remind myself of this often. :)

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  • murphyecmurphyec
    People just don't get it. 
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  • jpowell3jpowell3
    I don't understand how people can react like that. Is a child spending time with his father a wrong thing? Is it that strange that you love your job, need bennefits, and in todays economy just a little more money? I love being a working mom & would never have it any other way. I will say without any regret that I do not have enough patience to stay at home all day every day. It sure would be nice when they are infants because they are growing & changing so much, but what about as a toddler & they need socialization, rules & a schedule? Do you then return to work w/o having a "job" in 2-3 years? You would probably be looked over for a canadate who has more experience. You are doing the right thing for you & your family & don't let anyone else convince you otherwise. Keep up the good work. Be proud of yourself.
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  • AlisaSAlisaS member
    Just tell them you are lucky to have a fabulous husband and a job you love.
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  • shouldbeworkinshouldbeworkin
    They are seriously saying this about your leaving your DS when he's sleeping and at home with your DH?  They need to get a grip!  I think you have an awesome arrangement.  And, good for you for staying in the game.  KWIM?  I think they're just jealous.  ;-p
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  • mrsmikeymrsmikey
    Jeez, I wonder what they would say about leaving your child at daycare, all day every day while you work, if it's so terrible that he's at home with your DH a few nights a week?  They must think women like me are monsters.
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  • *sparky**sparky* member

    imageAlisaS:
    Just tell them you are lucky to have a fabulous husband and a job you love.

    Ditto this.

    People are ridiculous - your child is with his father for crying out loud, and I would assume he's sleeping most of the time you are gone. 

    Ugh - Women can be so catty.

     

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  • PeskyPesky member
    I hear you.  Some people just can't fathom other people thinking differently.  Sad really to have such a narrow view of the world...


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    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

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  • Angela814Angela814 member

    imageshouldbeworkin:
    They are seriously saying this about your leaving your DS when he's sleeping and at home with your DH?  They need to get a grip!  I think you have an awesome arrangement.  And, good for you for staying in the game.  KWIM?  I think they're just jealous.  ;-p

    Ditto.

    You know, they're probably trying to be understanding but are going about it the wrong way.  Some people just need to learn when to shut up.

    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
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  • flyer23flyer23 member

    imagemrsmikey:
    Jeez, I wonder what they would say about leaving your child at daycare, all day every day while you work, if it's so terrible that he's at home with your DH a few nights a week?  They must think women like me are monsters.

    Count me in the monster category too! Oh, and we could probably get by on just DH's income, so I don't even "have" to work! Boy, I'm the worst mom of the year. I don't know how my poor, poor daughter has turned out so sweet, happy, well-behaved, and well-adjusted... and I really don't know why she tells me she loves me every night.

    Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)

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  • AerochyckAerochyck

    I am just as bad.  Being canadian we get a year off paid so most people take full advantage of it.

    I'm sorry but I love my job and the work that I do.  I went back to work when DS was 8 months and my DH took time off to stay home with him and everyone looked at me like I had 3 heads and should not be allowed to be a mother.  SImply because my whole world didn't revolve around changing DS's diapers.

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