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October 2011 Moms
Chunstad
member
Mom Vent
Chunstad
member
I've mentioned before that I am not close to my parents, namely my Mom. I've really tried working on telling myself that it is something that I do not have control over, this is a choice that she has actively made. I've reached out to her several times, and I have been told that it is her German upbringing, she can't help but to be cold. Whatever.
I just called my parents and invited them over for Christmas Eve. I haven't spend Christmas with them in over ten years. My Dad was happy, said that he'd have to check with my Mom. Then he said, "Well, your Mom is making a face, so I don't know." Then he realized what he said out loud and started backpeddling.
It's funny, after years of telling myself just to forget about having a relationship, things like that still sting and hurt. Have I mentioned that I am her only child, and Carson is obviously her only Grandchild? Her fcuking loss. What a great example of what I DON'T want to be as a Mother.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Mom Vent
Other than that, I am so very sorry your mother is like that, I know that it must be hard. I think you are right though, you have to make peace with the situation.
BFP Chart
OCT 2011 Moms BlogI was wondering how Nita would respond to that German thing
I'm sorry to hear that your mom is being such a tool. Even when we understand that we can't change people, it still hurts to have them act poorly. I hope this doesn't ruin your holiday.
Burned by the Bear
Chunstad, *I* want to come over for Christmas Eve!
I feel super sad for you because you're an awesome person who deserves the family she wants. I'm so sorry your mom is being a big jerk. I wish your dad would come without her.
I agree with Nita, Your moms upbringing has nothing to do with her "cold" behavior. I was raised under a hardcore Ukrainian roof and yet I am lovable...(except when Im angry) maybe its because I also had the Scottish side to me as well..(.get drunk and tell people you love them.) Meh
When she wakes up in 20 years to realize that she missed out on all the great times with her daughter and grandson, It will be her own fault.
It sounds bad but having a not so great parent only makes us better at being there for our own children. I hope that she comes around some day but it is her loss.
Thank each and every one of you sweet ladies so much for your kind words! Your caring words truly brings tears to my eyes, thank you so much, I truly appreciate it. It's so nice to be able to come to you guys.
Spicy, I thought that I?ve hit that mentality so many times, but I guess I?m too sensitive for that. I wish I could keep that mentality. Wilson, I LOVE your siggy GIF, that cracks me up every time I see it! Joolz, he probably will come without her. He?s only seen Carson a handful of times, but she?s seen him much less. Maybe 4 times? Nita, I thought that I?d get a response from you after that remark! I love your new siggy picture as well J Penny, you are right about being broken. She had some serious effed up stuff happen when she was young, but has refused any sort of therapy for it. Sad, but you can?t help a person who doesn?t want to be helped.
I am sorry your mom is being like that! It really stinks that she doesn't want to be involved in your lives. You did mention that your dad seemed like he would like to come, do you think he might come over by himself?
But aside from that... It is your mother's loss. Really. I'd come for Christmas dinner to you. You are amazing and such a nice person! And I know you are a terrific mother!
So sorry Chunstad
I can understand, I think. My parents divorced when I was 15 and my dad hasn't made an effort to have anything to do with me since then. We basically don't speak or see each other because despite me trying to reach out, he's just hurt me too many times. It's been 11 years now, and most days I have the attitude that it's his loss and I'm better off without him... but once and a while it still hurts like hell. They are our parents, and even though the reality is they suck -- we still wish they didn't.
Hugs to you -- I know you're doing a million times better than your own mom! Hopefully our "new" families will be more functional than the ones we came from
DS born Oct. '11
TTC #2 with PCOS since Nov. '13
Dx: Low Progesterone (3.3) on 8/12/14
Waiting for RE appointment on 10/28/14
Surprise BFP on cycle 12 -- 10/19/14!
EDD July 1, 2015
So in a way, I know somewhat what you are going through....not getting the type of relationship you hope for. It's sucky. I have vowed to be the opposite of my mom when it comes to the emotional aspect, for Gator. I started a journal recently for when Gator is older that talks about EVERYTHING from the moment I found out I was pregnant, and I am going to continue it on for awhile. I am writing everything in there, my feelings, how my mom was pissed, etc. So hopefully one day, Gator will see what I went through emotionally and relationship wise with my mom and understand where I come from.
You ARE awesome, and so is your baby! Definitely her loss.
Of course I'd bring Shadow!
I'm in total agreement with Penny. I'm so sorry, Chunstad.