VBAC
Should I still try for a VBAC?
H and I are going to be filing for divorce. We have a 2 year old and another baby on the way in February. I had a CS with my first and was planning a VBAC for this baby but since I'm going to be on my own, I'm wondering if I should abandon the idea of a VBAC and just do a scheduled CS. That way, I know when I need to have someone take care of my DD and I don't have to stress her out if she wakes up without Mommy or something.
One of my friends has offered to be my birth partner if I still want to try for a VBAC but I don't know...it will feel weird not having my H there. It will be even weirder if he IS there though so I don't want that either.
Any suggestions?
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Re: Should I still try for a VBAC?
I'm sorry you're going through this right now
Personally, I wouldn't let this impact my plans for a VBAC. If anything you'll want the shorter recovery time that comes with a vaginal delivery since you're already going to have enough on your plate.
With that said, I understand the emotional part of birth and I can see why you're questioning what you want to do. You just have to decide what's right for you and go for whatever that is.
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All of the above. This is a tough decision to make. A RCS will enable you to have more of a schedule but you'll need a lot more help the weeks following (since you can't carry around your 2 year old, have restrictions, etc). A VBAC is a much shorter recovery, but you'll never know when labor hits.
I'd probably still plan for the VBAC but there really isn't a right answer here. Is it possible that your soon-to-be ex could be the one who takes your LO when you go into labor? Or does he want to be at the hospital when the baby is born? Build a supportive circle to help you through this time.
This is a really tough situation. So sorry you're going through this.
Deciding whether to try a VBAC is a difficult decision, so I can see how you feel like your best-laid plans are now up in the air. I had a cs with my first, but really wanted to try for a VBAC because I was so scared of the thought of trying to take care of a newborn and a toddler while recovering from a cs. I felt a lot of pressure from my husband and our families to have a repeat c-section because it was easier for THEM to plan. I was frustrated, because I felt like no one was thinking about what it would be like for ME after the birth. But when a friend of mine went into labor a few days before her planned cs and rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night, I was reminded that even planned c-sections aren't always easier or go as planned. So if you want a VBAC and think it's the best for you, I would look into your options. I wish I'd had a doula, so I second others' suggestions of looking into one, even if it's a student. If you don't want your ex at the hospital, can he be relied upon to take your daughter in the middle of the night? Can he take her full-time for some length of time afterward so you can recover? (Especially if you end up with a repeat cs.) You still have time to think about this. Even though I wanted a VBAC, I scheduled a cs for two weeks after my due date so that if I didn't go into labor before then, I already had something on the calendar with the date/time/doctor I wanted. My doctor was super supportive of me changing my mind. I could have scrapped the VBAC plans at any time if I had wanted.
I know this is a difficult time for you on top of preparing to have another child, so hang in there and know that there's a community here supporting you.
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