Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ekoenig4
member
Re: Fake drinking...
Try to abstain from going out.
Order your drinks in private. Order something that looks like it might be a "real" drink. (Plain Cranberry Juice, Club Soda with a lime, etc...)
no luck here, work Christmas party that I organized.....
i like the cranberry juice idea, thanks!
I was a Cran and Vodka drinker, or Vodka Tonic... I think that is why those first two ideas came to mind.
If it's just in a normal glass, no one will be the wiser.
If you can get there early, speak to the bartender and tell them no matter what you order, make it a virgin. (order vodka+cran, make him give u a cran+seltzer...)
at home, I fool gf's by drinking a wine glass of white grape juice mixed with water - looks just like white wine, drink it slow enough that no one offers to fill you up... =P worked perfectly last night when we had friends over for dinner...
Marriage: 10/02/2010
BFP#1 : 03.2012........MMC + D&C : 05.2012
The Buggy List blog
Well (blush) I am a TOTAL lush. My friends know that if I'm not pregnant or nursing a baby (I am expecting #4 so that is often, in my defense) I am DRINKING when I go out. I always make DH be the DD etc.
I am .. ummm...sorry this is my 4th and I don't keep as close tabs on these things as I should.. maybe 5 weeks now? We were at a social function last weekend which I was pretty worried about b/c the ladies I knew would be there are good friends who also knew we were trying.
When we got there my DH was unhelpful and started talking with the guys right away. I managed to get over to the bar alone though and asked the server to make me a drink that looked like a rum and coke but was just coke (in the lowball glass with wedge of lime). That was great until one of my girlfriends came over and literally sniffed my drink and said "whatcha drinking?" with a wink/smile. Ugh. She knows I'm typically a wine-o. I still defended my "rum and coke" and then said I just needed some caffeine and was switching to wine next.
Then I brought out my secret weapon (which I had employed at our neighbors house the night before for a dinner party and pulled off seamlessly). I had picked up some apple/pear flavored bottled water at the supermarket and brought it in my purse. I ordered a glass of white wine (I usually drink red but couldn't come up with a good fake) and carried it around for a bit. Then I headed for the restroom. I felt weird carrying my glass into the bathroom but whatever. I went into a stall, dumped the wine and filled my glass back to the same level with my pear water. It was a dead ringer. I did this the rest of the night as needed. I still think my girlfriend who sniffed my drink is/was suspicious but I at least threw her off or confused her with my fake wine. THis method is also helpful for lushes like me because - ummm - I actually get thirsty and and need to drink but my friends know I would NEVER drink water when there is wine around.
Or if you're at a bar, it's easy to get a mocktail.
Tis the hardest Season to be hiding it. haha. 6 Weeks here and lots or parties and trips coming up to see family.
My sister will be at one party. We are going to switch off Glasses of Wine here and there so it looks like I am drinking.
Also plan to make Faux cocktails. Club soda with a little cranberry juice. So many people will be at these functions, no one will notice.
My company Christmas party is tomorrow night and I fully intend to ask the bartender to make me virgin Caesars even if I order a regular one. There are a few LDS/Mormon's that I work with who won't be drinking at all, and I would normally just jump into that group and claim I don't drink at all, but I was drinking beer at a company dinner we had last month so if anyone remembers that I'm hooped. I think I'm better off drinking virgins.
Avery - March 16, 2011
Things to avoid during pregnancy: Eye contact with cats. Cats will suck the burgeoning life right out of you, using their infamous feline mind-powers. Avert your eyes, and move along.
FACT: 1 in 10 people are said to be a carrier of Listeria. Therefore you should avoid all shopping malls, grocery stores and busy street corners for the duration of your pregnancy. Or microwave anyone you contact until steaming, just to be safe.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
I also have this issue on my mind for parties coming up and my husband and I have come up with the following plan of action:
When we're at parties at someones house (this weekend we will be at my aunt and uncle's for our godsons birthday party) we are going to bring beer (as we usually do) and I will pretend sip for a bit, then make my way to the bathroom and dump it down the sink and fill it up with water. I know as long as I have a beer in my hand, no one will question it.
If we run into a situation where we are out and would usually been drinking, I'll just order my own drinks (or have hubby order them for me) and go with some sort of juice and lime. Again I don't think I'll get any sideways glances as long as it LOOKS like I'm drinking.
Good Luck!
Oh here's another suggestion that probably doesn't apply if you're at any sort of adult office party, but some could use it:
To fake shots of alcohol/shooters
- water + a splash of coke/pepsi looks close enough to whiskey that it can pass in a darker environment especially.
- water by itself looks like vodka (sugar the rim and add a lemon slice and people will think it's a "lemon drop")
- sweetened iced tea (especially if it's on the gun in a bar) looks a lot like amaretto liqueur so something like Southern Comfort + Amaretto can be replaced
- water + apple juice can look like tequila in the right light, but the scent is hard to fake, so don't let anyone too close to your shot glass, don't forget the lime, and put on your best tequila face.
We used a lot of these when I was a bartender and we had a "dry bar" establishment (no drinking on the job) so that we could please certain customers that wanted to include the server in a round of shots.
Avery - March 16, 2011
Things to avoid during pregnancy: Eye contact with cats. Cats will suck the burgeoning life right out of you, using their infamous feline mind-powers. Avert your eyes, and move along.
FACT: 1 in 10 people are said to be a carrier of Listeria. Therefore you should avoid all shopping malls, grocery stores and busy street corners for the duration of your pregnancy. Or microwave anyone you contact until steaming, just to be safe.
I tried to do the fake drinking thing while H and I went out with about 4 other couples last weekend....it was a bit of a disaster!
We went out for hibatchi, arrived early, walked over to the bar and I ordered a cran/pineapple juice with ice and fruit to look like a cocktail and I swear the bartender had no idea what I meant (language barrier there) he gave me a glass with just the juice...no ice...nothing to make it look anything like a cocktail.
The second drink I asked for was during dinner when everyone else was ordering and i caught the waiter before he went to the bar and wispered "can I get a glass with just pineapple juice and ice?" he said sure...well another waitress came back with my drink (no ice) and announced to everyone "Who had the pineapple juice?!?" I tried to play it off like it was pineapple/malibu but I don't think anyone bought that crap...ugh!
Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron
To avoid this happening, let the service staff in on your secret. They won't out you, and (if they're anything like I was) they'd love to play along. A language barrier doesn't help though unfortunately.
Avery - March 16, 2011
Things to avoid during pregnancy: Eye contact with cats. Cats will suck the burgeoning life right out of you, using their infamous feline mind-powers. Avert your eyes, and move along.
FACT: 1 in 10 people are said to be a carrier of Listeria. Therefore you should avoid all shopping malls, grocery stores and busy street corners for the duration of your pregnancy. Or microwave anyone you contact until steaming, just to be safe.
lol. The "I'm not drinking because I'm on medication" thing would never fly with some of my family/friends. They'd immediately suspect. And there's nothing gross about bringing a drink that youre not drinking into the bathroom to pour some out.
TTC since 3/12
High LH/FSH Ratio 8/12
DX with PCOS 11/12
Clomid 50mg - 19.5mm Follie - Trigger + TI = BFP! 11/12
EDD August 11, 2013
Yum!
You guys are all so clever. This hasn't happened to me yet, but I am taking notes!
Ditto. We always arrive a bit early, speak to the waiter and let them know the situation. I usually order plain tonic with lime and just tell them to keep bringing me the same. They'll usually just say things like, "one more?" so as not to make too big of a deal out of what I'm drinking.
Man, that's a tough one!
-Tell people you have a hangover and will barf if you drink.
-Ask those who are most suspicious, if they have a tampon.
-Have tampon wrappers conspicuously on top of your bathroom trash.
-Club soda and lime in rocks glass looks like vodka tonic.
-Cranberry juice and a lime in a martini glass looks like a cosmo.
-White cranberry juice in a wine glass looks like white wine.
-Drink water from a beer can or dark beer bottle.
-just pour cocktail mixer into a glass, and no alcohol.
-bring a mini bottle of vodka that you poured out and filled with water. Let people see you pour it into your drink.
- if people flat out ask if you are pregnant, embarrass them by saying "no... i just gained some weight and im really self conscious about it" (even if you didnt gain weight)
While you have some good ideas here, this thread is almost a year old. OP is probably not with child any longer. If she is, I really feel sorry for her.