Family name but parents say no?

kimmycup · December 2012

Hi Ladies,

Just curious about your opinions. My DH really likes his grandmothers name, Neva. It's pronounced Knee-vuh. I had never heard the name before, but I think it's unique and like the meaning. However, when we mentioned to his parents we might name our daughter Neva (if we have one) his dad got a horrified look on his face and said "please don't do that to your daughter". Since Neva is his dad's mom, I'm assuming maybe he'd seen her get made fun of by her name? Anyway, what do you guys think. Would it be better as a middle name?

KatieKim0815 · December 2012

First off, grandparents don't get a say in what you name your child. It's up to you!! If you love the name. Use it.

I might ask why he has an issue with it in case his mother had some weird experience. It's just odd to arbitrarily say 'no'.

We tend to use family names as middle names. I just prefer that as the tribute, but that's just me.

this decaf life · December 2012

I would never use a family name that the family didn't support. It seems forced and awkward. I really like my grandmother's middle name but when I brought it up she told me about how much she hated the name so obviously we decided against using it.

austenreader85 · December 2012

I think once family knows, it's nice to have support. Did he give a reason as to why he thought it was so awful? I mean, some people might not just like the name/think it's too unusual but that's not a real reason to not use it or honor family IMO. Now, if she had some secret past then it makes sense.

Pas1224 · December 2012

I would ask him why he said no. If she hated it or something, I wouldn't use it.

Helenahhandbasket · December 2012

I actually think it's quite a pretty name. Not sure how it could get made fun of, other than the fact that it's not your typical Emma, Olivia, Isabella?

Why do you think your FIL had that opinion? Does HE not like the name? To me that's not really a good enough reason not to use it.

Does your H's Gma not like her own name? If that's the case-- I would say maybe I would take that into consideration and move the name to the MN spot. I wouldn't want to possibly upset someone I was trying to honor.

In the end, it's really up to your H and you. If you genuinely like the name, use it. Good luck on your decision.

marissa422 · December 2012

I agree you should find out why he is so opposed to using it..hmm..on another note, I absoultly love the name Neva

Fianschneid · December 2012

I like the idea of using family names for middle names.

I also like the idea of keeping name choices to yourself until the LO arrives. You can't please everyone and once you put it out there, people will be brutally honest with you.

bsinno · December 2012

i think its a beautiful name personally. I knew a girl in HS named Neva and she was beautiful and kind!

and ditto to PP, grandparents dont get a say - they got the chance to name their children, now its yours!

hoopduck · December 2012

This is exactly why I won't be telling anyone, especially family, our name choices until the birth. It's not their choice to make, and Neva is a fantastic, unique, and beautiful name. Don't let their opinion sway your decision.

ateach · December 2012

Love the name! I agree with the others if there is some sordid, unknown past with the name I would reconsider, but otherwise it is up to you!

My parents have had negative things to say about almost all our names, including family names! I probably should have never said anything to them in the first place!

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