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Blended Families
cole2144
member
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
So we Finally had our CO hearing
cole2144
member
And we got 50/50 custody!! We are thrilled. The judge saw through BM`s bs and said that SD is lucky to have two families who love her and that since we moved closer to be near her that she saw no reason for us not to have her 50 percent of the time. She also ordered parenting class with either DH and BM or all for of us (me, DH, BM and her BF) which my husband was happy with, because while DH wants to work with BM to decide what was in SD`s best interests, BM mom got up there and said they were not even able to "coexist." All in all, today was a great day. We even got holidays that BM did not want us to share like Halloween.
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.This discussion has been closed.
Re: So we Finally had our CO hearing
CONGRATULATIONS!!
What an amazing early Christmas gift!!
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Congratulations to you and your family!
When are the new changes to take effect?
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
This!
And - WOOHOOOOOOO, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
That was nice of him. I don't know what the current arrangement was, but I'm sure this will be very hard on her mom.
He tries to do the best he can to work with her. The prior arrangement was she had SD 11 days out of 14.
I think that was very compassionate of your husband and speaks volumes of his character. I hope after the dust settles and after BM has healed a bit, she'll be able to see and appreciate what a good man your husband is.
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Oh we all know where you stand on this issue. Your selfishness astounds me, it`s about your child not you. It is in a child`s best interest to see both parents equally. You are pathetic.
You know...I totally do understand how you feel. The emotions surrounding just the idea of not seeing my child half the time makes me sick. And I'm so glad that will never happen to me, But on the other side of that equation is a Dad who was going 11 days out of 14 without seeing his child. And THAT is sad too. Divorce and blended families are hard. I don't know that not seeing your child would get easier, but the other emotions lessen with time. I think yours is still new. It gets better.
Sometimes.
Congratulations.
Hopefully, after a period of adjustment, BM will be easier to deal with. It was really kind of you to give her a few days with SD, and I hope that your efforts to generate good will are reciprocated.
Did the judge address the CS issue?
As a BM....I actually kinda see where dmnd is coming from in this situation. I have Jake 11 days out of 14 because his father gets him EOW and every other holiday. That is because we live three hours apart. I would be quite an adjustment to have that changed to 50/50. BUT if my ex moved closer to me, I would adjust the schedule without going to court.
And another but, I have been following your story and I am thrilled for you. Your BM has been nothing but difficult and unreasonable. Congratulations. I'm glad you will be able to see your SD more often without a fight.
As long as the parent is competent, loving and provides stability then it is in the child`s best interest.
We go to child support court in Jan but the decision will be retroactive from yesterday.
Honestly this isn't always true. Each kid and situation is different.
Thank you! The only reason we were ever 40 mins from BM is because she moved away. We moved to be closer as soon as we could, and made settlement on our house in Sept. Every decision DH has made about his career has been based on how far that would put us from SD.
I honestly do not believe that at all, like I said I feel as long as the other parent has been a consistent stable, loving force in the child`s life. I think it is terribly selfish when this is the case for one parent to say they deserve to be with the child far more than the other parent and to claim it is best for the child.
I dont always agree that 50/50 is best for the child, but in your case I believe it is different bc of the efforts your DH has made. You moved closer to SD and prove you want to further a relationship with her. I am glad that the judge granted 50/50. Congrats again!
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
Thank you!
I'm just trying to let you see things from her perspective. If you were in her shoes you would fight for time with your children too.
That is exactly what my husband did, fought for his child which he only was able to see 3 days of of 14 due to BM being selfish. The difference is my husband did not get on that stand and lie like BM did, all he had to do was be honest and his love for his daughter told the judge all she needed to know.
I'm a BM and would not oppose 50/50 custody if XH lived here. Especially if XH moved here to be closer to his child.
I'm not saying that it would be all puppies and rainbows--it would be hard at times. But I can't think of a reason in the world why I inherently deserve more access to DS than XH.
BTW, am I the only parent in the world who enjoys some time without my kids? Back when XH lived in the same state and saw DS once a month, I really looked forward to those weekends! I could catch up on cleaning, go out with friends, go out on a date, sleep in, etc.
^^ All of this.
Dmnds, it doesn't surprise me in the least that you are opposed to a 50/50 custody agreement. You are still so bitter and vindictive towards your ex that you are blinded as to what is truly in the best interests of your son. I'm a BM and a SM and I'll tell you what, kids benefit from spending as much time with each parent as possible. How can you possibly say that one parent is "entitled" to more time than another? Especially when the NCP is trying as hard as possible to see their child, despite the games and manipulations of the CP. In Cole's case, BM has been playing games and being a flat out pain in the ass forever, all in an effort to keep SD away from her father. Of course you would side with her. Custody agreements should not be about one parent's ego or sense of entitlement, but what is in fact best for the child.
I'm with Felles on this. If DC wasn't such a, well, DC, then I would love if he lived close enough to have a substantial relationship with the kids and possibly 50/50. You know how happy that would make the kids, knowing that their father isn't a complete asshat and wants to be an active part of their lives? You know how much therapy that would save?
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Sometimes I live for my week-ends without DS. He's right in the middle of his terrible threes. Time without him definitely makes me a better single mom and more patient.