- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
3rd Trimester
WTF mom (long vent)
Ok this has been building up for awhile and I just have to get it out or I'm going to cuss my mom out. My mother feels it's ok to say whatever she wants without caring if it hurts my feelings, even when I tell her I don't appreciate the comment or it's upseting me. I'll make a list of her choice words since its long
1. When I got preg this time (I had a miscarriage in Jan and got preg again in April) she told me not to get too attached or get my hopes up since I knew things could happen. She even told I might not be preg (had + home preg test and MD test) so that if I started bleeding don't worry cause I was never preg in the first place. ( what the hell mom, I just lost a child and now you're going to make me cry for 2 hours straight about how this child will probably die too. way to be supportive).
2. Told me if I didn't keep the child in the bathroom with me when I showered or didn't sit in backseat with baby she would call child protective services for neglect. (She said it was a joke but way to boost my self esteem with child rearing).
3. When I told her I was nervous about breastfeeding and wanted to take a class so in case I had problems I would know solutions, she told me she never had problems so there was no way I would. (Again thanks for making me feel like something is wrong with me if I do have difficulty).
4. Told me that there was no way I was leaking colostrum (sp?) and that if my boobs were wet then I needed to talk to MD since something was really wrong with me. Also made me nervous that maybe the baby would come early because of it. (Just because your boobs didn't leak doesn't make you an expert).
5. Tells everyone who will listen that I'm such a baby when it comes to pain that it will take 5 people to hold me down while I'm in labor and that she will be in the room to keep me in line. (this is all based on the fact that I freaked out at 8 years old after cutting off 3 toes and getting them reattached with a local only while the MD explained each step of the process. Oh and the reason you're in the room mom is to cover my DH if he needs a break, and the OB knows that if you act up I want you thrown out.)
6. Told me that when people tell me I have a small belly they're lying to be nice, that I'm huge, and that I'll probably have a 14 pounder. (When I told my OB this when asking if baby was measuring big, she just looked at me and said your mom is a jerk and maybe shouldn't be in delivery room. Also said even if I did have a 10lb baby I would be fine since I'm 5'11 and have big hips).
7. The icing on the cake (last one I promise) I pulled my back out last night so bad that I couldn't move, get up, or even breathe without wanting to scream. I had to go to L&D last night to rule out back labor and was sent home with Tylenol #3. I stupidly told my mom this (I really need to stop being a glutton for punishment) and she told me that they gave me drugs that will hurt the baby and when I said that no they said it was fine she informed that they figured I didn't care if I hurt the baby so why should they. When I informed her that I tried everything I could at home for 6 HRS before going in and couldn't get up to even go to the bathroom she told me I should have sent DH to get a bedpan and put my baby's health over my own comfort. (This from the lady who had to 2 emergency c sections where she out for them and has diabetes but eats cookies and doesn't know why her sugars are up. By the way I'm a damnn RN mom don't you think I looked up the drugs and asked a million times if it was ok to take prior to accepting the prescription. She just thinks I hurt my back slightly and am just being a baby and that if I can't handle this how am I going to handle labor.)
SO F U MOM. I take great care of this baby, I've gained only the weight I was supposed to, I have exercised the whole time, and this isn't the 70's and they know a lot more about medicine. If you can't keep your comments to yourself I swear to god I'm going to kick your asss while I'm in labor and blame it on the fact that I'm a huge whimp and didn't know what I was doing.
Sorry this was so long and thanks for letting me get it out. 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WTF mom (long vent)
That really sucks. If I were you, I'd really reconsider having her in the delivery room since she sounds far from supportive - you don't need that sort of crap when you're in labor. If you are worried about having a back-up support person, you could always get a doula.
Sorry she's being so awful.
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info
No kidding! Keep her out, no matter what it takes!
(oh, and about riding in the back seat with the baby...I have at least one friend who now regrets doing that because the baby doesn't like to sit back there by himself. That's kind of hard to deal with when it's just you and the baby in the car!
I posted about my mom earlier too...your mom sounds exactly like my mom!!!
The other day I mentioned how I just love when the baby kicks me in the bladder, and she said that she had three kids and not one of them ever kicked her in the bladder and looked at me like I was an idiot!
She's also told me several times that something is seriously wrong with me if I think I'm having BH because that never happened to her therefore that shouldn't happen to anyone and it's a terrible thing!
She's also told me that I'm going to be very over due and to plan on not having this baby until mid-March, I'm due Feb 26th!!!
?
I always thought that MIL's were supposed to be worse, but my MIL is nothing near as miserable as my mom has been!?
WTH? I'd tell her "I think I would know if MY boobs were leaking, thank you!" Hell, mine leaked with this baby REALLY early - like 14 weeks - so it's way possible.
I'd rethink that. I wouldn't want someone who thought they needed to "keep me in line" during labor, anywhere near me during that.
She sounds like a PIA.WHY are you letting this woman in the delivery room? She'll just add more stress.
I would have told her off long time ago, but that's just me.
First off, do not have your mom in the delivery room with you. You do not need that kind of stress.
Secondly, I think you should stop telling your mom so many things about your pregnancy and life. The less open you are with her, the less she will have to comment on. My mom is the same way. She has no filter and says ridiculous things. I have stopped telling her details about my life. It really has helped our relationship.
Our mothers will never change. We can only change our reactions to them. When my mom makes a hurtful comment, I can react to it and let it hurt me, or I can let it go because it's not worth it and really doesn't mean anything anyway. GL.