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November 2012 Moms
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Be honest...SO/DH help

chpswifechpswife member
in November 2012 Moms
So my DH has been off with me since porter was born, about two weeks. Granted he does keep my toddler busy at times but I think I'm ready for him to go back to work!!! My kitchen is trashed cause he can't clean up after himself....I'm trying to get DD back on schedule and he lets her stay up as late as she wants!!! He has yet to give me a break and take the night shift for once, we bottle feed so not hard. I've been sick this week and I need some sleep!! I don't know... My hormones are still raging and I'm freaking tired!! Just curious if yours has stepped up to the plate and could they have a talk with mine before I go nuts!!! Yes I'm exhausted...
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Re: Be honest...SO/DH help

  • credcat7credcat7 member

    My advice.. as much as you want to yell "I shouldn't have to ask"... remember he can't read your mind... AND if this is his 1st time off work in a while his brain is also on vacation mode the dishes are so not important to him right now..... just communicate with him....i.e.

    "I need a good 3 hour nap so I am going to bed... baby needs a bottle at .."

    "If you really want to make my day.. could you clean the kitchen while I pump"

    "We need these 3 things to get done today, which do you want to take charge of"

    I know when I have gotten overwhelmed and tired that if I melted down and whined it just made it all worse but if i could take a deep breath and say "I am about to lose it.. could you XYZ to help me manage this right now" we have made itt hrough like a rock star team

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  • chpswifechpswife member
    Problem is I've done that and he feels I *** athim...then I find myself asking over and over so I just do it.....
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  • vnstacievnstacie member

    My H is pretty good about helping. He goes back to work Friday, I'm sad. 

    During the day he keeps LO busy and will also help with baby. He cooks and cleans, he even did laundry when we first got home. At night he will get up with me and change DS diaper while I use the restroom and then goes back to sleep while I feed DS.   

    oa1
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  • viking15viking15 member
    My DH was wonderful the first week and then once he had access to his laptop again at home from the hospital the wheels fell off. I'm really disappointed. I've tried talking to him but I'm getting nowhere. I'm going to have to resort to the tried and true letter written to him so he has the space he needs to process.
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  • kateraidkateraid member
    Sadly he probably thinks he's helping and doing a great job. My DH steps up always but sometimes I find his "help" makes more work for me. Ask for him to take that shift and take advantage of that part of his time off and be patient. He will be back to work soon and you can get into a routine. Hopefully you'll feel better by then. GL
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  • sara785sara785 member
    imageviking15:
    My DH was wonderful the first week and then once he had access to his laptop again at home from the hospital the wheels fell off. I'm really disappointed. I've tried talking to him but I'm getting nowhere. I'm going to have to resort to the tried and true letter written to him so he has the space he needs to process.


    I thought I was the only one who had to write letters to make a point to DH!
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