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Blended Families
jessalared
member
Intro!
jessalared
member
Hey all!
I've been lurking a bit and I really like some of the advice and outside perspectives I see here.
My name is Jess and my back story is my husband has an 8 year old son. His mother passed away when he was just 5 months old, they were never married. I have married my husband knowing that I am not just getting a husband but a son and that it would be a relationship I would have to build. We have had our rough spots here and there but he is really such a sweet kid.
Before we got married DH was living with his parents and his mom was helping to raise DS. By helping I should say she was doing the majority of it. I am not sure that she knew how to not be a grandmother though, and she shouldn't have to either, but as a result DS has gotten away with doing whatever he wants and has an attitude problem a lot. This is something we are working on.
He is getting more and more comfortable calling me mom though and it warms my heart so much! I am pregnant with another boy and he is so excited to be a big brother. I am hoping I can keep making him feel like he has us time even with the craziness of a new baby. We are going to try taking turns with one on one time with him.
Anyway I will end this novel, but I am looking forward to maybe getting some advice in the future from you ladies that have much more experience than I. Thanks for reading if you made it this far!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro!
Hello and Welcome!
I am a SM and I am also a Stepkid. My mom passed away when I was 5. So, I know what it feels like to be in a blended family after you lose your parent. Please include him in all family things. Even watch what you say in front of your SS.
I remember being about 9 or 10 and we all were at the grocery store. My SM was telling the checker which kid was hers and which ones were his. Something as innocent as that, and I still remember what that felt like 25 years later. I remember feeling like I didn't belong. I remember thinking, "Why can't we all just be one?" Why does there have to be his and hers? I just wanted to belong and be included. Especially to the checkout lady at the grocery store. What did it matter to say to her, "They are all mine!!"
Anyways, needless to I have experience with loss of a parent. Ask anything, and Congrats to your new little one!! :-)
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013