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C-sections
NicoleWI
member
Mad at DH
NicoleWI
member
in C-sections
After my posts below re: help needed....Saturday 12/15 is probably my first day home after c-section.
Just talked to DH who said something about, "well, you know, this is still my super busy time at work, so I don't know what you're planning for Saturday but if I could do some stuff that would be great." I told him my parents are coming, but they are coming to be EXTRA HELP--not so that he can go off and do whatever. Told him he could do more work while I'm still in the hospital, but on the first day home w/ new baby I really don't think he should plan to be working. I know my parents would be mad that they jumped through hoops to come help and then DH just took off. I'm sensitive to this already b/c I thought with our 12/10 (non-c-section) baby I was on my own way too much right away and was totally exhausted and stressed. Then he got all annoyed about the fact that both my parents WERE coming, and about it being "too many people in the house" and stressful, which yes, it is stressful when they come, but it also will be a huge help to me and I'm mad that he's making an issue of this. They are coming no matter what b/c I need to know someone will be there to help. I just feel like he doesn't GET IT--I am having SURGERY and will have another baby and 2 toddlers and that first weekend I am sure I will still be a mess. If it ends up being too much help, it's only for a day or two, so everyone else can just DEAL WITH IT. Ugh.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Mad at DH
Is your DH taking time off of work for the birth? And what does he do, if you don't mind me asking.
My DH took a week off of work my c-section. Thanks to some shuffling around in his office (moving offices) he got an extra half week off. After he was back my mom and sister were over a bit to help me out. I found this was enough help, but I don't have the extra responsibilities of two toddlers as well as a newborn.
I could see it being ok if maybe he was thinking he would take advantage of the fact that your parents are going to be there and get some extra work done, or go into work. But only if he were planning on taking some time off to help once your parents are gone, kind prolonging the extra help you would have in the house.
I think you're hormonal and in a very emotional state right now. I'm sure that your DH isn't going to spend every waking moment on that Saturday working. If he needs to get work done, you will have your parents there to help out.
Your preschooler who is almost 4, should be a lot more independent than your almost 2 year old toddler. Your parents can help entertain them when you do stuff with the baby.
I'm with the PP. I would want all those people in my house, even if it was just my parents. I would tell them to get a hotel room too. But DH and I want to be on our own the first weekend we are home and don't allow any visitors (even parents or IL's).
I've been in your boat. When I had DS1, I had a 3YO and a 19 month old and was pretty much on my own. Does it stink? Yup! And it was super hard for me, but I survived and had a baby #4! LOL! You can do it too.
Try and relax before your c-section. I think you are stressing yourself too much.
GL!