I feel like such a jerk!

nittanyllama · December 2012

I have complained a few times on this board lately that I ordered an Elfster item from Etsy weeks ago and haven't been getting any response from the seller. I sent her multiple messages and last night I got a little harsh... She sent back to say this:

"i totally suck for the lack of communication... i am sorry. i had a miscarriage the day after my last message to you. we had been trying for 3 years so i was completely devastated. i got way behind on my emails. i mailed it today."

I feel horrible!!! Embarrassed

KrisM86 · December 2012

Oh no! That's awful. I would feel terrible too. Don't beat yourself up, though, you had a right to be upset about a lack of communication and had no way of knowing her circumstances..

amyc216 · December 2012

Oh crap! Oh well, you couldn't have known!

kujayhawkgirl · December 2012

Oh no. That's so sad. I totally understand how you feel, but as others have mentioned, you had know way of knowing. She could have written a response to all her customers or just on her main Etsy page that she had a family emergency and would be away for a few days. You had a right to be frustrated, no doubt about that. Don't worry too much. Just have a sympatheic response back to her and I'm sure it will be OK.

mamaZbo · December 2012

You couldn't have known so don't feel bad.

kagl08 · December 2012

SuperDeDuper:
Oh no, I'm sad for her.

Nittany, I'd feel horrible too, but there is no way you could have known and it's totally acceptable for a buyer to follow up with a seller when you haven't heard from them. You did nothing wrong. If you want to, you could send a very quick reply telling her how sorry you are for her loss, thank her for her email and sending the item, and that you wish her all the best in this difficult time.

This! That's awful, but there was no way you could have known.

pistolannie · December 2012

lisajay09:
Gulp! But, there's no way you could have known that.

This. Honestly, I would still feel bad too but there was no way you could know something like that. I'm a little surprised that she was so open with her circumstances too. I would have expected something more along the lines of "Sorry, I have gotten behind in my emails. I had a personal emergency that took priority and will get your items out as soon as possible."

nittanyllama · December 2012

Thanks ladies - I did offer my condolences. It was just one of those things that I just went from being super bad to feeling super horrible for her situation. Hope I didn't upset her too much!

Elsa1984 · December 2012

Oh man that sucks!

I had a similar thing happen when I was buying something off of HyenaCart. The lady's grandpa died and I didn't hear from her or receive my package for over a month. I was pissed. When I got pissy, she all of a sudden got THAT email right away and responded. On one hand, I felt bad about her grandpa and know sometimes after losing a loved one, you can't focus. On the other hand, I was still annoyed because I felt like my other emails were just ignored yet my pissy one was automatically responded to, after 6 weeks of emails. I feel like if you have a business, you need to address if someone's product is being delayed. Had she gotten on there and emailed her customers and said "we had a family emergency, items will be shipped in a week", or "sorry for the delay but my grandpa passed. After the memorial service and family has left, I will be sending out your items."......I would have let it go. But 6 weeks of not hearing from her, I sent the nasty email and then called my credit card company disputing the charges and posted in her reviews where everyone could see what happened. I got her email the next day explaining. By that time it was too little too late.

nittanyllama · December 2012

Elsa1984:
Oh man that sucks! I had a similar thing happen when I was buying something off of HyenaCart. The lady's grandpa died and I didn't hear from her or receive my package for over a month. I was pissed. When I got pissy, she all of a sudden got THAT email right away and responded. On one hand, I felt bad about her grandpa and know sometimes after losing a loved one, you can't focus. On the other hand, I was still annoyed because I felt like my other emails were just ignored yet my pissy one was automatically responded to, after 6 weeks of emails. I feel like if you have a business, you need to address if someone's product is being delayed. Had she gotten on there and emailed her customers and said "we had a family emergency, items will be shipped in a week", or "sorry for the delay but my grandpa passed. After the memorial service and family has left, I will be sending out your items."......I would have let it go. But 6 weeks of not hearing from her, I sent the nasty email and then called my credit card company disputing the charges and posted in her reviews where everyone could see what happened. I got her email the next day explaining. By that time it was too little too late.

Yeah I get what you mean. I didn't get a response until I got nasty. It would have been much better for her to let her clients know that something was going on. However, I don't want to judge because I don't know what her situation was actually like or how realistic it would have been for her to let people know. Oh well, at least I know my package is on the way. But I do still feel terrible for her.

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