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another disputed adoption case from Utah

GulfCoasterGulfCoaster
in Adoption

Judge issued a 48-page decision yesterday ruling in favor of a married father (in the military) whose wife placed their child for adoption without his consent.  Prospective adoptive parents were ordered to return custody of the child to her father within 60 days.

https://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/55373764-78/achane-adoption-bland-child.html.csp?page=1

 

It sure seems like Utah has a lot of disputed adoptions involving fathers' rights...

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Re: another disputed adoption case from Utah

  • IRRIRR member
    Not surprising. Utah is one of the states BMs go to because they can avoid BFs to some degree.
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  • srmmm09srmmm09
    Wow, is it any wonder why some people have a bad idea of adoption with shenanigans like this going on? Horrible.
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  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member
    Yeah, it's one of the reasons I told my husband last night that I would be comfortable pursuing a DIA (in theory, we are not currently considering another child), provided it's not from Utah.
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  • lafayettegirllafayettegirl member

    I agree that the agency did not proceed correctly. However, the only party to this whole thing who did absolutely nothing wrong is the father. (Okay - and the child). BM was in the wrong, Agency in the wrong, and APs in the wrong. Agency takes most of the blame, I get it, but the APs, who KNEW THE RISK, were absolutely wrong in the way they handled it too.

    Just throwing my 2cents in there.  Lots of "up to no good" in this situation. Heartbreaking.

    Cervical Cancer Survivor since 2007 TTC Since 2008 IUI#1 = BFN IUI#2 = BFN IUI#3 = BFN IUI#4 = BFN IVF #1 = BFN FET #1 = BFN FET #2 = BFN FET #3 = BFN IVF #2 = BFN IVF #3 = BFN FET #4 = BFN FET #5 = BFP!!! 06/10/2011 Miscarriage 06/21/2011 Adoption Application Submitted 09/2011, Personal Documents Submitted 11/18/2011, Home Visit 12/16/2011, Officially Waiting!!! 01/21/2013 MATCHED!!!! 01/24/2013 Baby Boy Born! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    imagelafayettegirl:

    I agree that the agency did not proceed correctly. However, the only party to this whole thing who did absolutely nothing wrong is the father. (Okay - and the child). BM was in the wrong, Agency in the wrong, and APs in the wrong. Agency takes most of the blame, I get it, but the APs, who KNEW THE RISK, were absolutely wrong in the way they handled it too.

    Just throwing my 2cents in there.  Lots of "up to no good" in this situation. Heartbreaking.

    I could not agree more. I just couldn't put it into words

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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    This is the exact scenario that surrounded Aida's birth. Bm was married and it didn't come up til later, then when it did he said he would probably fight the adoption. All after we had taken her home.

    The thought of losing Aida was more than I could comprehend, but knowing at some point bf could come back and contest was more than we were willing to risk. Our agency drove 3 hours to track him down and finally gave him the details he didn't even know Bm was pg, at first he wanted to parent her...but after a few days, he signed his rights.

    I will never ever regret that decision! Knowing with fill certainty both parents consented gives us such peace of mind.
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    imageMayDayGirl:
    This is the exact scenario that surrounded Aida's birth. Bm was married and it didn't come up til later, then when it did he said he would probably fight the adoption. All after we had taken her home. The thought of losing Aida was more than I could comprehend, but knowing at some point bf could come back and contest was more than we were willing to risk. Our agency drove 3 hours to track him down and finally gave him the details he didn't even know Bm was pg, at first he wanted to parent her...but after a few days, he signed his rights. I will never ever regret that decision! Knowing with fill certainty both parents consented gives us such peace of mind.

    Ours was almost the exact reverse. BF didn't want to acknowledge that he had a daughter, much less that he was the father. He refused to sign any paperwork that was sent his way. Our state has laws that they have to move heaven and earth to find and notify BFs. They could cite an abandonment statute and force TPR, but he still had to be served notice. He didn't contest anything, but he didn't do jack. DD's BM actually came to the BF's TPR hearing to make sure it all went OK.

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  • GulfCoasterGulfCoaster

    imagemarshmallowevening:
    The agency is so annoying so say the birth mother misled them... why would they have taken her to Utah if they weren't in on it?

    My thoughts exactly.  She could have remained in Texas and made an adoption plan there -- but the fact the adoption agency relocated her to Utah (known for having laws that are among the strictest on birth fathers) indicates that they knew there was going to be a problem.

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  • lafayettegirllafayettegirl member

    This agency, along with many others, relocated the moms because they have housing facilities and doctors, etc. Those type of agencies relocate to ensure that there no problems all the way around.

    To say the relocate the mothers in order to deceive birth fathers or because they know there is going to be a problem is a stretch at best.  Some of the women who relocated actually come with the birth fathers.

    Cervical Cancer Survivor since 2007 TTC Since 2008 IUI#1 = BFN IUI#2 = BFN IUI#3 = BFN IUI#4 = BFN IVF #1 = BFN FET #1 = BFN FET #2 = BFN FET #3 = BFN IVF #2 = BFN IVF #3 = BFN FET #4 = BFN FET #5 = BFP!!! 06/10/2011 Miscarriage 06/21/2011 Adoption Application Submitted 09/2011, Personal Documents Submitted 11/18/2011, Home Visit 12/16/2011, Officially Waiting!!! 01/21/2013 MATCHED!!!! 01/24/2013 Baby Boy Born! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • annaliselannalisel member

    imagefredalina:
    "At that juncture, the right thing for the Freis and the Adoption Center of Choice to have done would have been to make arrangements to return Teleah to Mr. Achane with all due haste," the judge said.

    Judge said it all.

    This.

    Unlike the commenters on the linked news story, I wouldn't criticize the mother. She must have felt desperate. I also feel for the little girl who has a father who disrespects women's rights to control their own bodies and lives. 

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  • DebateThisDebateThis member
    imageannalisel:

    imagefredalina:
    "At that juncture, the right thing for the Freis and the Adoption Center of Choice to have done would have been to make arrangements to return Teleah to Mr. Achane with all due haste," the judge said.

    Judge said it all.

    This.

    Unlike the commenters on the linked news story, I wouldn't criticize the mother. She must have felt desperate. I also feel for the little girl who has a father who disrespects women's rights to control their own bodies and lives. 

    Saywhatnow?? He's a military service member serving in SC and providing for his family at home in Texas (joint bank accounts, paying the mortgage, attending prenatal dr's appointments) while his wife skipped off to Utah and relinquished rights to THEIR baby without his consent. 

    The birth mother lied her ass off, stole from him, knowingly deceived him (and potentially an adoptive family as well as an adoption agency although I smell some BS there too), and took his child away. It has nothing to do with pro life or pro choice and for you to draw that sort of conclusion from this article is mind-boggling.

    Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
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  • GulfCoasterGulfCoaster

    imagefredalina:
    imagelafayettegirl:
    This agency, along with many others, relocated the moms because they have housing facilities and doctors, etc. Those type of agencies relocate to ensure that there no problems all the way around. To say the relocate the mothers in order to deceive birth fathers or because they know there is going to be a problem is a stretch at best.nbsp; Some of the women who relocated actually come with the birth fathers.
    It is in virtually every case like this that the agency relocated the EM to Utah to give birth. Always Utah. There are no doctors in other states? No hotels?

     

    Ditto -- Utah has a whole lot of these cases, which seems to be an awful odd coincidence.  It's not like there weren't doctors in Texas to take the birth mother's Tricare insurance.

    I don't go specifically searching for stories of disputed adoptions, but this is at least the third article about a birth father disputing a Utah adoption that I have run across (and posted on this board) in the past 12-18 months.  In each of those cases, the mother had mysteriously relocated to Utah shortly before birth.  Hmmm. 

     

    Here's a link to a Salt Lake Tribune article discussing Utah's adoption laws (it's part 2 of a 4-part series, all of the series is worth reading):

     https://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/home2/52433534-183/utah-law-court-adoption.html.csp 

     

     

    This is not to say, of course, that all adoptions in Utah are unethical.  I'm sure that's not the case.  But Utah does seem to be getting quite the reputation as a jurisdiction that agencies use to sidestep a birth father's lack of consent.  And that is deeply concerning.

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  • GulfCoasterGulfCoaster

    Here's an update from the Salt Lake Tribune.  Interestingly, the agency involved is under scrutiny from state licensing officials....  And, according to page 2 of the article, has been involved in at least 5 other recent adoptions disputed by birth fathers that ended up at the appellate courts or Utah Supreme Court. 

     https://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/55401223-78/adoption-achane-agency-utah.html.csp


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