Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
UberBiz
member
Re: For those who chose RCS over VBAC
For me it was because I didn't want to labor for 22 hours again and wind up with a c-section anyway. I'm hoping that my recovery from an RCS will be easier than trying to recover from a long labor and a c-section.
With DS a portion of my cervix never softened (I only got to a 9) and my body started pushing anyway. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours before the Dr said it was time to have a c-section. Every woman in my family (going back 3 generations) has had this exact same problem and wound up with a c-section.
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TTC Baby Rob #1 05/07, BFP 06/07, EDD 02/22/08, Baby Jackaroo born via c-section after 22 hours of labor on 02/27/08
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TTC Baby Rob #2 06/11 BFP 11/06/11 EDD 07/16/12 Natural M/C 11/25/11 @ 6w3d
Baby Rob #2 (Sloane), in our hearts always.
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Here comes Baby Rob #3
BFP on Cycle 17 09/27/12. EDD 06/04/12! Please Stick Baby! A/S 01/22/13 Baby looking great. Officially TEAM BLUE! Jack is getting a Baby Brother! RCS scheduled for 05/29/13. William Daryll born at 9:59am on 05/29/13. Left ovary and tube removed due to peach sized tumor found during RCS. Pathology came back benign!
Maybe I will do this, schedule it, but if I go into labor before the date, then I'll try VBAC... I can't even explain how torn I am on what to do.. *sigh*
This is my plan. I'll schedule a RCS for around my EDD, but if I go into labor before, do a VBAC. Of course, I have had a successful vaginal birth with my first, so I know what I'm walking into (mostly), and therefore am comfortable with either situation.
I've had 2 c/s and this one is scheduled at 39.5 weeks, which I *plan* on going into labor before then. Were going to hold out as long as possible at home, b/c if I come in at anything over a 6 or 7 I get to try for a VBAC, if not, I have to have a RCS (which I'm prepared for). Since I have had 2 c/s my dr isn't liking me wanting a VBAC, but I really have my heart set on one. BUT again, I'm preparing myself for my 3rd c/s.
My other feeling about having a RCS planned is that with my first (emergency) I don't remember alot of anything b/c they pumped me with drugs so quickly to get him out I don't remember alot; and I DO NOT want that to happen again. This may be our last and I want to remember her birth. I only remember bits and pieces of our first.
But, I have to say, I had an AMAZING team of nurses and hubby who snapped over 50 pics JUST in the OR b/c they knew I was floating in and out of consciousness and wanted to capture as much of it as they could!
GL in whatever you choose. I keep trying to tell myself that whatever my body does, as long as I get a baby in the end, it doesn't matter
I really surprised myself deciding on a RCS. With DD1, I had planned to go natural, we took Bradley classes, hired a doula, the whole 9 yards. Then DD was stubbornly breech, so CS it was. It was actually a GOOD experience for me. My recovery was great, I didnt feel "cheated" in any way like I had feared I would, breastfeeding was great, etc etc. But if you had asked me before I got pregnant this time, i would have bet money I'd be going for a VBAC.
What it came down to for me was just comfort level. I am very Type A, I like to have things planned out, I like to know what is happening and when. Having been through the CS, I knew I was comfortable with it, and felt like attempting a VBAC would have caused me a lot of undue anxiety and stress leading up to the birth. I do NOT want my birth experience to be like that. My OB was very open to a VBAC for me (though she would have had to refer me out since it is practice policy not to do them), but has also been supportive of my RCS decision. There is really no right or wrong, just whatever YOU PERSONALLY are comfortable with.
I'm not even close to the point where we are looking at #2, but I already know I'm just going for a RCS.
My delivery with DS wound up being under general anesthesia since it was literally an emergency, so I missed EVERYTHING. I was so out of it leading up to the c/s due to really, really low BP that I wasn't even fully aware of what was happening.
I am not taking the chance of anything like that happening again, and I want to actually hear my baby cry the next time, and get to meet him/her before my family does, like what happened with DS.
Physically I'm sure I could try for a VBAC, since I healed well and quickly, and I had dilated to 5cm before all hell broke loose. I'm just not sure I, DH, or my family can handle another experience like the one I just had.
My Ovulation Chart
I'm also in the group that if I go into labor before my RCS date I'll try for a VBAC, but won't be upset if that doesn't happen.
Also what really pushed me towards the RCS was hearing from some girls I know on my anniversary board that a girl on their local board (confused yet) had done a VBAC and during the delivery she ruptured and lost her daughter. And while I know there are risks for either way, and that scenario is extremely rare, it still makes me feel selfish to try a VBAC when my only aversion to the RCS is the necessary needle in my spine. With my c-section the experience was fine and I recovered great (except for the pain at the injection site).
My Profile
I had a failed induction for my daughter and chose a C-section instead and this time I'm also choosing a CS because
A.) I hated the induction process. I had to have cervadil and it didn't work. Foley balloons didn't work. I didn't dilate or soften at all and I don't want to go through all that again.
B.) I had an excellent CS and recovery last time. I hope it will go the same this time.
C.) I am high risk and had specific health issues that allowed me the option to have a CS instead of having to worry about my baby even longer with the possibility of several days in hospital and not getting anywhere.
I honestly can't wait. Mine is scheduled for Friday and I'm a bit nervous but not too much. I just can't wait to finally meet my baby!