- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
February 2012 Moms
lancyjo
member
212 Facebook Admin.
WWYD? Car seat conundrum.
lancyjo
member
Hubs' grandmother has the entire family over on Christmas Eve every year. It's the only time that hubs gets to see a significant portion of his extended family because they all live so far away, and we're all so busy. This year he's excited to introduce them all to Aria. It's really important to him that we go. Basically, skipping this thing isn't an option.
Here's the issue. Grandma lives 2 hours from us. I have a kid who screams bloody murder in the car anytime she's in it longer than about 30 minutes. I'm talking screaming to the point of hysterics and throwing up. It's not only awful for her, but it's dangerous to be driving with that much of a distraction. Our pedi thinks she's getting motion sickness, which would make sense because I get it so badly.
I've tried blocking all the windows so that Aria can't see out. That only makes it worse. I've tried going at naptime, going as soon as she's awake/fed/changed, giving her her bottle, juice, toys, music, white noise, sitting with her, reading to her, putting up a mirror, taking it away... short of medicating her, you name it and I've tried it.
I talked to our pedi about this. He firmly believes she's suffering motion sickness, and that turning her forward facing is probably our only option for fixing it. He also said we could try a little benadryl, but I don't want to knock her out (or hype her up, if it goes the other way) for the car ride, especially when we're going to a family gathering. She'll be 10 months then, and past the 20lb mark... my pedi suggested turning her forward facing just for that trip, then turning her back around afterward.
WWYD in my shoes? Benny your kid? Try FF just for this trip? Is there something I'm missing? I'm at a loss, because I don't want to medicate her unnecessarily... but I definitely don't want to put her in danger either.
212 Facebook Admin.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WWYD? Car seat conundrum.
There's nothing you can give her to help with motion sickness? My concern would be that if you turn her FF now she's going to scream bloody murder when you flip her back around. And I would think that a longer car ride would mean more of a chance for an accident, so turning her around wouldn't be the best idea. I'd ask if there have any recommendations for helping specifically with the motion sickness, maybe even a natural remedy, and if not, I'd try the Benadryl sometime beforehand to see if it helps.
Sorry, that sucks, there doesn't seem to be any good solutions
Ok, first, I'm sorry...this sucks! I would be afraid to turn her because it would be too tempting to keep her that way if she was calm. I also know how hard it is when Allison was screaming the whole way.
I wish I had better logic for this but I would most likely turn her for the trip (and not tell anyone!) but turn her back as soon as we get home.
Lancy, my honest, gut feeling is don't turn her FF. It will be Christmas Eve. People drink egg nog and are "merry" and then still have to drive home in the evening. You will be driving a long way, in the dark, possibly in freezing conditions (where there might be an occassional patch of ice), and you will be going high rates of speed. To me, this is how I would look at it. If ANYTHING happened to Aria (God forbid), you would NEVER be able to forgive yourself. Even though you have all these "reasons" why it makes sense to do this, you would never be able to get over your decision. There is only a very small chance that something would happen, if if that something happened, it might ruin your life.
I would strongly consider the benadryl, and then just dealing with a sleepy girl when you are there. I don't think anyone minds a cuddly, sleepy baby to lay on them and snuggle close (and added bonus if it decreases her stranger anxiety, right?!)
I know you are going to weigh your options and choose what is best for your family, but please think about whether you could be okay with your decision if something bad were to happen at Christmas time. Remember that Aria is 5x more likely to escape serious injury in a RF-ing position than FF-ing, all other things being equal.
Benadryl is the only thing that my doc would approve for me to give her.
You're right, there are no good solutions. I never dreamed of having a problem like this.
212 Facebook Admin.
I would try this. MIL gets motion sickness when she rides backwards (our subway trains sometimes have backwards cars and we must steer clear or we are in trouble!)
If you FF - she'll never wanna go back AND I'd be super worried about the other drivers out and about
TTC #2 since 10/2013
BFP #1 (4.14.14) ~ CP (4.18.14)
BFP #2 (6.27.14) ~ EDD 3.7.15
I would forward-face all the time, not even just for the trip. Flame away, but I'm the kind of mom who keeps safety in mind but also the sanity of the whole family.
And I'd take Benadryl in case that doesn't do it. I understand you wouldn't want her drowsy and weird the whole time she's meeting H's family.
How awful for her to be so miserable--I'm sorry for you!
EXACTLY why I'm having a terrible time with this. You don't think it'd be bad to give her benadryl?
I guess I can't get past feeling like it's unnecessarily medicating my child... then again, if it's medicating her to keep her calm and from throwing up, maybe it's not unnecessary.
Make me not feel guilty about giving her that medicine.
212 Facebook Admin.
Both my boys turned foward facing at a year but that was before the recs changed. I agree with sooner.. The what ifs would be hard to live with.
You would be giving her medicine to help avoid the motion sickness and to help you or your H (whoever is driving) be able to concentrate on driving instead of stressing out and rushing to get there because you have a screaming baby. Motion sickness is a physical ailment and you would be treating that ailment. I would try the bracelet first, then the Benadryl and see how it is before the trip. But don't feel guilty for one second about giving the Benadryl. I would feel MUCH better about giving her Benadryl then flipping her seat around.
I agree with Jen & with Sooner. It's Christmas Eve, people with either be drinking or in a hurry to get to family or back home. The weather could be less than favorable. And, like Jen said, turning her FF for one day may make things even worse when you have to turn her back to RF. Our pedi recommended Benadryl for us for an unrelated problem we were having. It was just for a few nights, we did it, and everything was fine. I felt guilty for medicating my kid when she didn't need Benadryl, but like you've said, you're in a situation where you have tried everything and it is dangerous for you to drive listening to her scream and it can't be healthy for her to cry to the point of vomitting. Anyway, I understand the guilt of giving your kid medicine when you know she doesn't need it, but that guilt is far less than what you would feel if something happened to Aria while she was FF.
And the Benadryl didn't knock out my daughter, btw. It did not keep her asleep for hours on end. It's probably different with each child, but I wouldn't worry that she will be sound asleep the whole time you are at the family function.
First of all this sucks and I'm sorry you have to make such a tough decision. Personally, I would try the benadryl, but I would try it this weekend to see how she reacts to it first so you know what you're getting yourself into. The dosing may need to be adjusted.
Also, does she let you move her when she is asleep? How about going right before nap time and putting her in her seat sleeping. Do you still have the infant carrier, and does she fit in it? Can you have her fall asleep in the carrier inside and bring it out, or does she wake up?
How about leaving earlier and taking breaks at the 45 minute mark, for about 10 minutes or so.
Also, I don't know if you plan to go there and back in the same day, but I would split the trip over two days if I were you. It would be much better than dealing with this twice; especially if you decide to FF you wouldn't be on the road with the crazies on Christmas night.
Lancy--it is not unnecessarily medicating your child, if she needs help making it through the car ride without vomiting from stress. I actually can't think of a more appropriate time to see if certain pediatrician-approved medication might make a positive difference in this situation.
I, personally, would feel much less (read: zero) guilt giving her benadryl in this situaiton than forward-facing her car seat.
So I'm changing my vote to this...I've thought about it more and I don't think I would be comfortable flipping her. However, it may be beneficial (?) to try benedryl on a car trip before Christmas? Maybe not?
Clearly I suck at this question so I'm stopping now...
This is the last I will say on this...but I believe God helps those who help themselves (and their children).
...and trust that the car seat that says it's safe forward-facing for children over 20 pounds is safe forward-facing for your +20 pound child.
Hubs and I have decided to try the Benadryl before turning her around. We're actually going out of town [a shorter distance though] tomorrow, so we might even try it then.
I just hate that this is even an issue. Fingers crossed that the Benadryl works.
Thank you for all your input and great suggestions. :0]
212 Facebook Admin.
Are you serious? Find a convertible car seat instruction manual that says it is okay to turn a 20 pound baby around FF-ing, regardless of how old he/she is.
The Britax manual says "use forward facing if child is between 20-70 pounds AND is at least one year of age." Please, please read your manual to see if your car seat is even designed to allow FF-ing safely at 10 months old.
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt18dcc8.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
I'm not sure. Our pedi only said Benadryl.
And to answer pps about sitting with her, yes I do usually sit with her. We've tried me sitting in the back and sitting in the front. She screams either way after an average of 30 minutes. :0[ it's heartbreaking really.
212 Facebook Admin.
If she cries after 30 minutes can you just leave early and take a bunch of breaks?
ETA - Also, I didn't even think about it before, but in the worst case scenario if you did get into an accident aside from the obvious concerns I would be concerned about possible legal ramifications if the law in your state is one year AND 20 pounds.
This is what I would do. Just count on it being a much longer drive.
I agree that most if not likely ALL carseats are going to say 20 pounds AND one year or older, not arguing that. Just wondering what the difference is between a 20 pound 10 month old and a 20 pound 12 month old? Besides 2 months...
But seriously, why does age matter if the weight requirement is met? Is it just a legal issue?
Think about the whole time your baby has been alive - as she's gotten older she has developed more strength and went from not being able to do anything to being able to hold up her neck on her own, push up on her arms, roll over, sit up, crawl, etc. Did any of that have to do with her weight, or was it her age and the strengthening of her muscles? That's why age matters.
Yes, I believe the age restriction has to do with neck muscle development. Which I also believe is why they are recommending we wait until 2 years + to turn them FF now. The stronger their neck muscles get before they are turned, the less fatal the damage is likely to be in the event of a crash. This muscle development is obviously based on age, not weight.
NL--you are a peach! You seriously contradict everything I say, merely to contradict it! Do you know anything about the science that goes into these recommendations about when the car seats are safe to flip? Do you know how many teams of researchers, engineers and doctors consult on car seat design to ensure that our kiddos are safe as they can be on the road? Can you think of even one reason why a car seat designer would get together with a crash test engineer and a doctor and just decide to have a "grand conspiracy" to recommend that car seats be flipped forward two months after they all secretly know kids are ready to be flipped? Does that make any sense in your brain? Are you so wrapped up in conspiracy theories and wanting to "prove a point" that you are now thinking car seat manufacturers put inaccurate information in their manuals just for fun? Bless your sweet heart. It must be tough to live in your world, where everyone is against you and you are the only one who "sees the truth."
I will continue to live in my world, where if the car seat manual says that the car seat is not safe in the forward facing position until my child is one year old AND at least 20 pounds, I will follow that instruction and not flip before then (and really--not flip until after 2, because I think that the ages to flip are just going to continue going up in the next 10-20 years, like they already have in Europe. By the way, Jen was exactly right. Every single month that your child ages, her muscle control gets better and her muscle tone gets stronger. That means that, in the event of a car accident, the older she is, the more likely she will be able to use her neck muscles to prevent her own vertebrae from internally severing her spinal column, killing her instantly. Maybe do a quick Google search for "internal decapitation" and then report back about what you have learned?
We've done this before, and it doesn't help a lot. She'll calm down and be happy while she's out, then get twice as hysterical when we put her back in the seat.
When I say I've tried everything short of medication and forward facing, I really mean it.
212 Facebook Admin.
Sooner, you know how I feel about NL, but I really think she was asking an honest question this time. It has crossed my mind before too. [i just googled for the studies, vs asking in here] On the surface, it doesn't seem like 2 months would make a huge difference, but it really does. :0]
212 Facebook Admin.
IMO, I suggest the benadryl.
Apparently- benadryl isn't "bad" for an infant.
But studies show FF at this age is. As PPs mentioned, there will be plenty intoxicated drivers. Not worth the risk. I bet she'll take the Benadryl just fine. It will be such a small dose, just enough to get the job done.
Good luck, Lancy.
ETA: Yeah, the reason why carseats must be RF for as long as they are recommended is because of the lack of muscle strength in the neck.... But Sooner's already got that covered!
Long time lurker here, but I feel like I have to chime in here (even this is an old thread.) I would definiely try the Benadryl. I also had a few other thoughts (which you've probably already tried, but just in case...) I used to get car sick all the time as a kid. As an adult, I've figured out some things that help me, so they might also help Aria. Any kind of artificial scent makes it that much worse for me, so if possible don't use any car air fresheners, perfumes, etc. Also try making sure the car is as clean as can be before your trip. In my experience, things that have been sitting in the car for a while take on a different smell, and that tends to make my motion sickness works. I don't know if it would work for a rear-facing child, but seeing out the window also helps me. If I'm in a car and look at something stationary for too long I'm a lot more likely to feel sick. Fresh air does wonders as well. You could try rolling down the window and cranking the heat (so she doesn't get too cold.) The last thing I can think of right now is that if I have eaten too much or have eaten right before we left then I also feel worse.
I'm sorry it's so tough for Aria in the car! I hope things go well for you guys on your trip.