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Hurt and lost

mcaa1234mcaa1234
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
So DH and I got into a huge argument on Saturday.  I want to try again and he said no.  So I've been thinking about leaving.  I have sacrificed so much for him, and he refuses to budge on anything for me.  Then he started going off about how I'm unstable and irrational.  I told him that I was thinking about leaving and he said that he doesn't care and that I can deal with the miscarriage on my own.  I was doing everything this weekend-cooking, dishes, bathing the kids, doing the laundry and the only thing he cares about are his damn friends.  One of them had an issue with their car yesterday so he took off to help him, but he can't lift a finger around the house!  Now he is ignoring me and slept on the couch for two nights. 
HPT 11/20/2012 EDD 8/1/2013 Miscarriage 11/27/2012
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Re: Hurt and lost

  • ac5008ac5008 member
    I am really sorry you are going through this. You need him to be supportive right now more than ever :( this isn't fair to you.

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  • hollandpandashollandpandas member

    imagesnegde:
    I'm sorry. I can't imagine how difficult that would be, the emotions you are facing are hard enough. I know MH and I had a rough week last week because we were both so anxious about everything that we just went against one another. Often when we are going through something rough we treat those closest to us the worst - DH. Sometimes talking to a therapist or counselor can help you sort through everything and determine if the feelings you are both feeling means your marriage is over or you have so much pain and hurt that you are taking it out on one another. It might be something to consider, he could be struggling with the miscarriage in a different way then you are but still be struggling. Good luck. I know this feels like the last thing you want to deal with right now on top of everything else. 

    Exactly this! Best wishes to you!

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  • mandy0505mandy0505 member
    imagesnegde:
    I'm sorry. I can't imagine how difficult that would be, the emotions you are facing are hard enough. I know MH and I had a rough week last week because we were both so anxious about everything that we just went against one another. Often when we are going through something rough we treat those closest to us the worst DH. Sometimes talking to a therapist or counselor can help you sort through everything and determine if the feelings you are both feeling means your marriage is over or you have so much pain and hurt that you are taking it out on one another. It might be something to consider, he could be struggling with the miscarriage in a different way then you are but still be struggling. Good luck. I know this feels like the last thing you want to deal with right now on top of everything else.nbsp;

    this

    I did want to add that H told me we weren't going to be having any more. It makes me want to leave as well. Hang in there and don't make any big decisions while you are going through this. I'm sorry for your loss
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  • PlssmomPlssmom member
    Oh my god I felt like I wrote this...same thing is going on w my husband! They have no idea what we go thru and it's so frustrating! I do everything around the house and he goes off and helps other people! It drives me nuts. I feel your pain girl! I can't say whether to leave or not..but it crosses my mind often..one of my friends told me to try as hard as I can to save my marriage so that if it does end at least I can say i tried...she divorced 3 years ago and sometimes regrets it...sorry what you are going through...life really sucks sometimes...
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  • MPLSdesignerMPLSdesigner member
    I am sorry you are feeling lost and hurt but honestly my first reaction to reading your note was that you seem a bit overwhelmed with taking care of your family and your husband seems to be grieving in the very masculine way of "shutting down" and so having more kids right now and even bringing it up seems like the wrong direction. Maybe take some time alone with the hubby to try to rekindle the romance and reconnect.....I bet he would love some affection from you now and talking about more kids can wait til you both are in a better place. Good luck.
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