BFN Confirmed beta

mollykelley · December 2012

I got my results just now... BFN. I had a feeling so we are back to planning for next time. DW has some BIG ideas but I'll do a separate post about that. Sorry I'm posting so much TTC stuff on here, I don't feel comfortable posting elsewhere. I lurk a lot on TTC boards and I often see unfriendly responses and I don't want to open myself up to any negativity. You ladies have been wonderful.

Can anyone who has had a successful IUI from frozen sperm please let me know? I see a lot of posters here who had failed IUIs and then IVF or used a live donor. We are not open to using a live donor but may move on to IVF if necessary.

Any successful pregnancies with frozen sperm IUI, please???

ball.and.chain · December 2012

Obviously I am not one of the frozen sperm IUI success stories but many of the women on this board did conceive that way. I am sure they will chime in with their stories.

You are perfectly welcome to talk about TTC stuff here. It is really not just a "parenting" board, despite the name, and many of us have received support in our TTC journies here.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry this wasn't your cycle. I know how frustrating a string of BFNs can be. Unfortunately it sometimes just takes a while. They say it can take a healthy hetero couple up to a year to conceive naturally, so 3 BFN IUIs is sadly well within the range of normal. I feel like the cost and stress of trying to conceive this way magnifies the difficulty of not conceiving easily, so it can be really difficult to be patient. Even in my case, there was never any indication that anything was wrong and my RE said for all we knew, I could have conceived on the 10th or 11th IUI...but who wants to wait to find out?

Have you switched donors since you started TTC? Does your RE do sperm analysis on your vials? I switched to a second donor after 2 RE IUIs (I had already used the first donor for 4 midwife IUIs, at which sperm analysis was not performed) because the sperm analysis showed the total motile count on both vials was below the cryobank's guaranteed minimum. I assumed because we were paying for donor sperm from a large reputable bank, the quality was good, but that wasn't necessarily the case. I did not conceive via IUI with the second donor either (we did use him for IVF) but his numbers were better than #1. Lots of women have success after switching donors -- they say sometimes one donor just isn't a good "match" for you, though I have no idea if that concept can be backed up medically -- and it may make you feel like you are doing *something* to help the process.

Good luck with your next cycle.

JoySeattle · December 2012

I'm sorry to hear about your BFN. That is all good advice from ball.and.chain. I agree that there are a number of women on this board who've gotten pregnant with frozen donor IUI (and even more that aren't on this board). We spent a lot of time talking about our hypothetical progression to more intervention and then just taking each cycle at a time. The fact that you got pregnant on your second cycle is a good sign (sorry for your loss though). Relaxation, patience and distractions are the best way to get through this process -- and they're all easier said than done. I'll respond to your other post with ideas for distractions!

clairmeij · December 2012

I am sorry to hear about your bfn.

I conceived using frozen donor sperm. It took us 5 tries over a 7 month period. Our best friends decided to each carry one baby and they both conceived using frozen donor sperm. It took them 3 tries each. I know that this process can be all consuming and disheartening, but know that it can take time. There is no guarantee that it will work, but many many lesbian couples conceive this way every year.

I found that I relaxed a bit when I felt more in control of the process. For me that meant asking my re to proceed with drug intervention sooner than he thought necessary. I also started acupuncture and that gave me so much peace and calm. I hope that this happens for you soon.

With regard to talking about your ttc on here, I have to echo you and say that unlike some of the other boards, this board is extremely supportive and helpful. I'm really keen to keep following your journey and can't wait to congratulate you on your bfp.

mollykelley · December 2012

ball.and.chain:

You are perfectly welcome to talk about TTC stuff here. It is really not just a "parenting" board, despite the name, and many of us have received support in our TTC journies here.

Thank you so much. I feel like I'm developing a community here and I've enjoyed getting to know about the paths many of you have been on!
I think you are right about the amount of effort it takes makes it feel much longer. And I am humbled by the process that many of you have had to go through. Why should I be any different?

ball.and.chain:

Have you switched donors since you started TTC? Does your RE do sperm analysis on your vials?

I've been using the same donor sperm. We fell in love with his profile and I hope it is not that case that we are not "compatible" but I have thought about that... I had some RHL panels run to see if there is something with my blood type. And yes we do analysis before IUI: IUI #1 56 mil with 51% motility, IUI #2 66 mil with 56% motility, the third I can't remember, and the last one was 73 mil with 41% motility. RE says all good. But there may be other issues.

Or, I just might need to be patient! Big Smile

mollykelley · December 2012

JoySeattle:
The fact that you got pregnant on your second cycle is a good sign (sorry for your loss though).

You are right. I can't disregard that. And thank you for the condolences.

I still have my fingers and toes crossed for your BFP! Let us know when it happens! Big Smile

mollykelley · December 2012

clairmeij:
I conceived using frozen donor sperm. It took us 5 tries over a 7 month period. Our best friends decided to each carry one baby and they both conceived using frozen donor sperm. It took them 3 tries each.

This is so good to hear. Thank you for sharing this.

clairmeij:
With regard to talking about your ttc on here, I have to echo you and say that unlike some of the other boards, this board is extremely supportive and helpful. I'm really keen to keep following your journey and can't wait to congratulate you on your bfp.

This is incredibly sweet. I cherish this board now that I am a part of it. Thank you thank you for your comfort and your well wishes!

laynesmomma · December 2012

Ugh! That totally sucks! I am so sorry. Obviously I haven't been successful but my partner had our daughter with frozen after 2 iuis with clomid as did our neighbor. It happens....

unoriginal · December 2012

It took us 7 tries and 2 doctors with 2 different frozen donor sperm + IUI to get pregnant last time. It was painful and heartbreaking at the time, but I don't really remember much of it because when my daughter was born, it all seemed to disappear!

We are getting ready to try again. I am hoping it doesn't take that many this time!

2moms2b · December 2012

I'm sorry for your BFN. It's hard and as ball.n.chain said, it can take a healthy hetero couple up to a year to conceive. I understand your frustration though as with medical intervention, monitoring and timing you feel as though it should work every time. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself! (easier said than done)

Please use the support you find here. This journey is hard enough so please use us as a sounding board, just to vent or celebrate.

We did achieve pregnancy with a frozen sample using a medicated IUI cycle. (We did not move to IUI until after 13 failed cycles at home).

It's so easy for us to tell you not to get frustrated but we all here know that's not a logical request. All I will say is try not to be too hard on yourself and trust your RE. I know you see several people who have moved on to IVF and this may be for several reasons. The first may be a fertility issues where it is their best chance, others have made the financial decision after several IUIs to move on to better their chances faster. I think it is a very personal choice. We made a decision to evaluate IVF if we had 6 unsuccessful IUI.

At the end of the day, ttc is a very emotional roller coaster and no one's journey is exactly the same. You just have to make sure you are communicating with your partner and making the best decisions for your house.

Best of luck on your next cycle!

mollykelley · December 2012

Hi jrtmom, I've only done 4 IUIs but over several months because those darn OPKs don't detect my O. IUI 2 was a miscarriage in June for same chromosomal reason. Is that enough to change donors? I'm crazy about my donor profile and I hope we are not incompatible. We have budgeted for 6 IUIs so I guess we keep trying and reevaluate then.

Want a personalized experience?

BFN Confirmed beta

Re: BFN Confirmed beta

Choose Another Board

Search Boards