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Nobody wants my milk (warning - long sob story)

Scooby2358Scooby2358 member
in Parenting after a Loss

Hi ladies,

The short version: I tried to donate 100oz of frozen breastmilk. I stated up front that I'm on a low dose of an antidepressant - and no one wants my milk.

A little background: I've been on one antidepressant or another for most of the past 16 years. When we started TTC I discussed my options at length with my psychiatrist, my OB, and a perinatal psychiatry specialist, and after lots of thought we decided to go with an older tricyclic antidepressant. I'm not on one of the usual breastfeeding-compatible SSRIs (they don't work for me) but my doctors believe the one I take is just as safe, only not as popular due to side effects some moms experience. The available evidence suggests the transfer rate to breastmilk is low.

I was on a higher dose during my pregnancy and 13 months of nursing DD. I went off the meds entirely for my second and third pregnancies, but started to relapse after I lost both of them and had to start meds again. I've tapered down to a low dose but my psychiatrist doesn't think I should go off at this point. In summary, this is the best decision for me and my family, and I had more or less made peace with being on medication during pregnancy and breastfeeding.

I am rapidly running out of space in our small freezer, so I offered 100 oz through our local Eats on Feets chapter, stating up front that I am on this medication. And...crickets. No takers.

The rational part of me says I shouldn't take this personally, but breastmilk is a pretty personal thing, KWIM? I don't mean to imply that I think anyone *should* take it. I just looked at the posts from other moms saying things like "desperate for breastmilk!" and "willing to drive from [neighboring state]!" and I thought, wow, I could really help another mom and her baby.

Now, it feels like my breastmilk has been judged unsuitable. If my milk is so undesirable that not one family in a major metropolitan area wants it - what am I doing nursing my DS?  What kind of mom am I, if my kids have the choice between breastmilk that no other mom would feed her baby, or a mom who can't function and care for them properly?

Please tell me this doesn't mean my milk isn't good for DS. My confidence has been shaken.

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Re: Nobody wants my milk (warning - long sob story)

  • mundayemmundayem member
    I don't think it means your milk is unsuitable for your son. It seems like you've talked to all the drs and made sure that the transmission is low so that there shouldn't be a reason not to continue to BF. I think that when it comes to donating places are super duper anal and if there is anything they will turn it down. It sucks because I'm sure someone could use it but if there is even a minuscule chance that a baby could be adversely affected they won't take it.
    BFP 7/27/10, no hb discovered 9/3/10, natural m/c 9/17/10
    BFP #2- 2/1/11,bleeding- 2/6/11, natural m/c @ 5wks
    BFP #3- 4/29/11 - DS born 12/31/11
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  • IEtoLAIEtoLA member
    I agree with pp. Your BM is absolutely the best thing for your LO. I am also taking meds and worry about this, burning the end, baby is going to be fine. As far as donating, think of it as a blood donation. It's a liability if something is in it or if the person has been exposed to something. It doesn't mean your BM is bad, they just can't take it.
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  • Karen1998Karen1998 member

    imagemundayem:
    I don't think it means your milk is unsuitable for your son. It seems like you've talked to all the drs and made sure that the transmission is low so that there shouldn't be a reason not to continue to BF. I think that when it comes to donating places are super duper anal and if there is anything they will turn it down. It sucks because I'm sure someone could use it but if there is even a minuscule chance that a baby could be adversely affected they won't take it.

    All of this.  Big (((((hugs))))) momma.  

    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
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  • Scooby2358Scooby2358 member

    Thank you all for your encouragement. I know I'm not eligible for milk bank donation, which is why I was hoping mother-to-mother would work. I'll try not to take it so personally.

    Hugs to all of you in the same place with medication - it's really a tough decision and I'm sure we experience some extra worry about it.

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  • adoxyinherearadoxyinherear member
    *hugs* I am so sorry you're feeling this way! I think mamas are probably just being overly cautious. Your milk is just perfect for your DS, and I'm sure other LOs, too!
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    imageimageimageTTC since 07/11 | natural m/c 08/11 | BFP 12/6/2011 | Elinor Anna born 8/18/2012 | BFP #2 1/16/2014
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