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Never thought it would happen to me...

cislebride07cislebride07
in Secondary IF
Of course you are cautious and only tell people you can trust and you know there is a possibility that your BFP may not sick but I was just not prepared.  I passed the sac last night and it was something I will never forget.  I know that I am supposed to grieve and that I should know that this baby just wasn't meant to be.  It's just so damn hard.  I am so sorry to anyone who has ever experienced this.  I get it know.
Dx PCOS Three cycle of Clomid- BFN HSG- clear 6/09-Follistim and HCG IUI on 7/7/09 BFN 7/09- Follistim and Ovidrel IUI on 8/11/09 BFP! beta #1-342 beta #2-717 Joey was born on 5/5/10 Trying for #2 since 6/12 6/12- Gonal F and Ovidel IUI on 7/10. BFN 8/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel. IUI on 8/10. BFN 9/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel IUI BFN 10/22 Gonal F, Menopur, Ganirelex 11/4 trigger 11/6 ER 14R 10F 11/11 ET transferred one 4AA embryo beta 11/20! BFP Betas stop multiplying . m/c at 5 weeks moving on to FET if my numbers ever get back to 0!
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Re: Never thought it would happen to me...

  • jeannaqueenajeannaqueena member
    Oh honey, no!  No no no!  I am so very sorry and was so hopeful that this wasn't going to happen.  I have lost babies too, twins at still born at 19w and a CP so I haven't gone through exactly what you are going through, but I know your pain.  It is so unfair and so hard.  I wish there was more I could say or do.  I will say that the m/c board was very supportive back when we lost our babies.  Allow yourself to feel whatever, no feelings are wrong.  (((HUGS)))
    TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
    BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
    3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
    TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
    BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP 
    Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
    Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
    Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
    Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
    Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
    Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie
    Miracle Surprise BFP, EDD 10-1-15; saw HB great Betas, 11weeks lost baby MC at home
    Moved forward with FET transfered solo frostie on 6-4-15, beta 1: 315, beta 2: 738, u/s showed one baby on track EDD 2-21-16
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  • 74dragonfly74dragonfly member
    I am very sorry for your loss. Sending hugs to you.




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  • egsquaredegsquared member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. My first loss was natural, and I was not prepared for it at all. The miscarriage board and TTCAL [when you're ready] are a great support system. Big hugs!
    TTC #1 since 6/08. Cycle #6 - BFP 12/22/08, EDD 9/3/09, DD 8/14/09 at 37w1d
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    TTC #2 since 6/11
    me=36 - low AMH, DH=38
    BFP #2 - 8/31/11, EDD 5/10/12, M/C 9/23/11
    BFP #3 - 3/4/12, EDD 11/14/12, CP 3/11/12
    BFP #4 - 5/9/12, EDD 1/19/13, CP 5/11/12
    BFP #5 - 8/22/12, EDD 5/5/13, CP 8/24/12
    IVF#1 - January 2013 - EPP/Antagonist - 7R, 3M, 2F, 3dt of 2 8-cell embies
    BFP #6 - 2/3/13, EDD 10/15/13, DS 9/18/13 at 36w1d
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  • SigmundsGirlSigmundsGirl
    Oh no! I am so sorry! I know how hard it is and how sureal it all is. I'm keeping you in my prayers. I know this is easier said than done, but give yourself time and be good to yourself. If you need to talk or just write out everything you are feeling, please don't hesitate to send me a PM. We are all here for you.

    Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
    18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
    BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10

    TTC #2 since Dec 2011
    BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12

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  • Dan&MaggieDan&Maggie member
    Oh, I am so, so sorry :( I've experienced two losses myself. If you need someone to talk to, there are a lot of us who are here for you. Hang in there. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.
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  • cislebride07cislebride07
    I really appreciate all your kind words and support.  This board and you girls have been so good to me.
    Dx PCOS Three cycle of Clomid- BFN HSG- clear 6/09-Follistim and HCG IUI on 7/7/09 BFN 7/09- Follistim and Ovidrel IUI on 8/11/09 BFP! beta #1-342 beta #2-717 Joey was born on 5/5/10 Trying for #2 since 6/12 6/12- Gonal F and Ovidel IUI on 7/10. BFN 8/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel. IUI on 8/10. BFN 9/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel IUI BFN 10/22 Gonal F, Menopur, Ganirelex 11/4 trigger 11/6 ER 14R 10F 11/11 ET transferred one 4AA embryo beta 11/20! BFP Betas stop multiplying . m/c at 5 weeks moving on to FET if my numbers ever get back to 0!
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  • TripMommaTripMomma member
    I am so sorry for your loss :(
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  • girlieface3girlieface3 member
    I am so so incredibly sorry. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I will keep you in my prayers. Even though it feels like forever right now, i know you will have a beautiful baby in your arms soon.
    DD born 12/30/09 TTC since 6/2011 2/2012 Clomid +Ovidrel+ti= bfn 3/2012 Menapur + follistim= cancelled, over stimulation 4/2012 Next cycle cancelled due to cysts 5/2012 on break TTC w/o meds 8/2012 Clomid & trigger w/ IUI=BFN 9/2012 Clomid & trigger w/ IUI = BFN
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  • Lauren79Lauren79 member
    I am so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this.

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    Pregnant with Letrazole (Femara) on the first cycle with DD after TTC 2+ years
    TTC#2 with Letrazole (Femara) since January 2012
    BFP 06.29.12 EDD 03.11.13 natural m/c 07.13.12
    BFP 09.22.12 EDD 05.31.13 natural m/c 10.07.12
    CP 11.09.12
    BFP 01.01.13 EDD 09.15.13 d&c 01.24.13

    BFP 03.26.13 EDD 12.04.13
     

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  • KristyLynn26KristyLynn26 member
    Oh no!!! My heart is breaking for you! I've been avoiding the bump the last few weeks but still lurking here and there to see how all my 2IF friends are doing and this is just so unfair. I'm so so sorry. IF is just so unfair! Big Big HUGS!
    imageimage

    First Time: DD born 3/2011 after trying for two years, LAP, and two IUIs w/ Femera + Ovidrel
    This Time: 4/12 Femera IUI #1 BFN, 5/12 Femera + TI BFN, 6/12 Femera + IUI #2 BFN, 7/12 Femera + IUI #3 BFN, 8/12 Follistim IUI #4 BFN
    IVF #1: ER 11/5/12 : 17 eggs retrieved/6 fertilized, ET 11/10/12 : 5dt of 2 embies/0 frosties BFN
    IVF #2: ER 1/28/13 : 12 eggs retrieved/9 fertilized, ET 2/2/13 : 5dt of 2 embies/0 frosties BFN
    IVF #3: ER 4/15/13 : 13 eggs retrieved/7 fertilized, ET 4/18/13 : 3dt of 3 embies/0 frosties BFN
    Laparoscopy 5/24/13 : Stage 2 Endo, Scaring, and Both tubes Blocked but successfully Opened
    IVF #4 (Clinical Trial): ER 7/22/13 : 15 eggs/8 fertilized, ET 7/25/13 : 3dt of 3 embies/0 frosties BFN
    IVF #5: ER 11/4/13 : 13 eggs/12 fertilized, ET 11/9/13 : 5dt of 2 embies/0 frosties BFP!!! Beta 11/20/13 = 447 1 Beautiful Baby! EDD: July 28, 2014
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  • flows912flows912 member
    Oh no! My heart goes out to you. I'm sorry for your loss and we're here for you if you need anything. HUGS!
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    MPZ born June 2011
    TTC #2 ... Cycle 1-3: IUI = BFN | Cycle 4: IVF ... canceled but 3 snow babies
    Cycle 5: FET .. BFP! | EDD - 3/15/2014
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  • ttcmbbabyttcmbbaby
    I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. I too never thought it would happen to me either and I mc my baby at 5 weeks also. I am currently on cd 33 after my mc waiting out my af not so patiently. I am completely ready to try again but of course now there will be a sense of hesitation for my journey as it continues. It is something that has completely changed me so I wish you the best!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2 since 2009 Have PCOS two close calls with letrozole and hcg trigger. Hoping 3rd time does the trick... Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • kofmkgkofmkg member
    So sorry!  I can't imagine how hard that must be.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
    Love, luck, and prayers to my BFPB Dr. SnowflakeBride

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