Engagement Party?

tsharon · December 2012

Okay, short backstory. My oldest nephew is 23, and more like my brother than anything else. He had a rough childhood, and my parents raised him for pretty much the first half of his life. Then he moved back home (with my parents) at 17 when he knew his mother couldn't stop him. So we are VERY close. He's on his own now, with his fiancee and new baby daughter.

I threw his GF's baby shower in July, and I spared no expense. Party planning/Entertaining is a hobby of mine, and I was glad to do it. But believe me when I say a lot of work and money went into that day!

Well he proposed to her on Thanksgiving this year. I offered to throw them an engagement party, because no-one else had stepped up. Problem is: I know practically nothing about them. Besides toasts, what happens? Just mingling and introducing everyone? How much decor should I have, if any? Are finger foods okay?

This will be in January, so I need to get on the ball. ANY advice is appreciated!

lifesadance · December 2012

When I think engagement party, I think: evening, cocktails, wine, mingling, appetizers, dessert (often dessert buffet).

But I know people who have done them as sit-down dinners... but that is more the exception than the rule. If you start it at, say 7pm, I see no reason for more than snacks and dessert. If you start at 5pm, then I'd expect something more like dinner or substantial appetizers.

Hope that helps. It's so kind of you to throw the party for them! He's a lucky brophew!

kimmarie1105 · December 2012

Im from NY and I only say that because usually stuff like this is done on a bigger scale up here. With that being said, you an make an engagement party whatever you want. I know people who have had mini weddings in halls with a dj and sit down down dinner. I, personally, think this is ridiculous. My engagement party was close family and friends. It was at the clubhouse in my townshouse development.It was at 7pm on a Saturday night. We had cocktails, hors d'oeuvres and desserts. Its more or less to celebrate and we only did it because our engagement was 16 months long. Nothing special really happens besides the toast and some pics with the bridal party...

PSUBecky23 · December 2012

My parents threw us an engagement party. It was simple and casual. Appetizers, dessert and drinks. Nothing crazy or expensive but still very nice.

JSS1002 · December 2012

I actually didnt' have an engagement party -- we were planning a fast wedding (3 months from "will you marry me" to "I do" and it felt like asking a lot to have a quick engagement party + showers / bachelorette party + ask people to come to a wedding.

But I think just a cocktail party is the norm and what people expect. Drinks, hors d'oeuvres... I went to one once with a Parisian theme, because the couple was engaged at the Eifel Tower, but mostly it is just a pretty casual affair, pictures of the couple around the house, etc.

You could ask them how they met / how they were engaged and see if that sparks any "theme" ideas, but other than that, I'd just stay "upscale low key".

RachaelMarieB · December 2012

We had one thrown for us, during the afternoon. We had appetizers and light food.We did have cupcakes . We did have a champagne/sparkling wine toast. It was mostly mingling and people meeting the people that were going to be part of the wedding party and families meeting each other. They had rented out a room at the community center, so we didn't really decorate other than some centerpieces on the tables.

sbonnie · December 2012

I've been to a few and they've all been different. One was at a bar (lots of drinking, mingling etc), one was at a restaurant (sit down dinner, a few toasts etc), and one was at someone's house (wine, finger foods, mingling etc). I say, do what you're comfortable with and I'm sure they'll appreciate anything you pull together!!

tmrchi · December 2012

I agree that engagement parties can really range from mini weddings, to a backyard bbq. Where I grew up in FL, engagement parties weren't really done much, and at the opposite extreme, my friend in TX had an engagement party bigger than most weddings.

Ours was an evening of appetizers and drinks in my in-laws backyard. We did name tags for everyone and how they knew the bride or groom to be. And the only speech was a "welcome for coming, we can't wait for the big day" type thing.

KellyM10 · December 2012

We just went out to eat with the immediate families (still a pretty large group) and my dad gave an official toast, everyone else just sat and shared stories, etc.

I think if you were throwing a larger one, finger foods would be just fine. Sorry I can't really be more helpful though. Aside from mine, I had never been to one or really knew anyone who had one.

drtarajp · December 2012

We had one the night after we got engaged, thrown by my in laws. It was basically a surprise to me, as i had no idea i was going to get engaged!

It consisted of family and friends that lived in the same town as my ILs, as well as some friends/family that knew ahead of time and traveled down for it.

It was held at ILs home, pretty casual. There was finger foods, a cake, wine/beer/champagne. Basically consisted of mingling and lots of oohs/ahhs over the engagement story and the ring. People did bring gifts, but that was unexpected and IMO unnecessary. My parents and my ILs did a toast and DH and i gave a little speech/thank you.

I wouldnt think you would have to do too much to go 'all out' for this type of party. IMO, you dont really have to get much as far as decor or games or anything- so it should be much easier than a shower! Check out the knot, i bet they have a board about this or you could ask on their shower board.

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