Hate Breastfeeding

snoopy4283 · December 2012

My daughter is almost 2 weeks old and I hate breastfeeding. She has been latching on well and seems to be getting enough milk but I feel like breastfeeding is making me depressed. I know breastfeeding is the best way to go but I am not sure that it is best for my own well being. I am feeling extremely guilty for thinking this way and hope that this is just a temporary feeling...

Has anyone else felt this way? Will it go away? How long should I continue before switching her to formula?

kegallagh · December 2012

What exactly do you hate? I'm not being snarky, I mean that genuinely. It is hard to answer your questions without knowing.

jecanty · December 2012

I was not a fan in the beginning. I was sore and felt glued to the couch 24/7 and it was just not fun. I think it started getting less so around 4-5 weeks. The six week growth spurt kept me glued to the couch for a couple more days and now, at about 8 weeks, he is quick (10 minutes or so) and eats every 3-4 hours during the day instead of constantly. It got much better.

If it is important to you to continue breastfeeding, this is just to give you a little bit of hope. If you want to formula feed, that's fine too. It's not the end of the world. There is nothing wrong with formula feeding your baby. I would just try to get through the rough part and then re-evaluate if you want to continue or not. Good luck!

rachael_c26 · December 2012

It sounds like you're already kind of set on formula based on your last question about how long to wait before doing so. If you are really already set, just switch now. There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula and if you are really so miserable and hating BFing so much, then it would totally be worth switching now, IMO because you being happier and less stressed is very important at such an early stage.

However, MY personal experience. The first week and a half, I hated it too. I was pumping a little bit, just in case it got too overwhelming for me and DH had to take him to feed him. Which I can assure you did happen. I felt sad and upset that I was getting so frustrated and NEEDING to pass him off, but ultimately it truly helped.

Around 2wks I hated it less, but my nipples still were super tender and when my LO would latch it would be a seering pain.

Then the 3wk growth spurt came and I was happier BFing, but still had a couple breakdowns. My nips weren't as tender but LO's initial latch still hurt.

We are now at 5wks and I haven't had to offer a bottle in a long time, I only pump to stash it away for when I go back to work. I've started nursing in public. My nipples aren't as tender and I hardly feel LO at my breast anymore.

We aren't quite to where it's "magical" like so many women say, but my LO actually makes eye contact with me while nursing now, so that's cool. And he grabs my necklace and bracelet which I love. I will point out that both of these could be accomplished through FFing too. But it is what I focus on when a BF session is goin less than ideal.

If I knew at 2wks what I know now, I would have slept a lot easier. It's a lot harder to believe when others say "I promise it gets better" when it really hurts so bad and its frustrating. My LO always knew how to latch but in the beginning it would take him 30minutes to realize that was what he was supposed to do. So he was starving and bawling and I was bawling. And leaking all over the place.

I know I'm rambling. Basically, it sucks in the beginning. I think most would agree that it does get better eventually. BUT there is definitely something to say for a mom's health and happiness and if you aren't happy, then do what you gotta do and know that there is nothing wrong with going either way.

If you want to continue BFing, make small goals. Say,"let's make it past the 3wk growth spurt" then if you still hate it, or if you are hating it less then "I'm going to nurse until my 6wk pp visit and see how I feel", etc etc.

One last thing. You could pump.
Hugs. It really is hard and NOT as natural as I thought it'd be or as easy as everyone makes it out to be.

Ok. I'm done. I hope I helped though.

tbone_bride · December 2012

The first few weeks are tough, but it gets better. When your LO starts to look into your eyes and smile while BFing, nothing beats it. Also, just a thought, u don't have to wash bottles when BFing. For me that was huge. Good luck, and whatever u decide will be right for u

melissascarfone · December 2012

I am at 7 wks old and felt the same at that point. It does suck...but, i promise...it gets easier, better, with longer spans, and even pleasurable! I swear! Wait until u pass the rough spots before yiu decide...just give it a chance. The cluster feeding stinks but then it gets sooo much sweeter!

quartz02 · December 2012

Definitely felt that way, it went away... keep at it. One of the best pieces of advice I read was not to quit on a rough day. If you want to switch to formula, that's fine but make your decision on a good day.

skate88 · December 2012

My DD is 12 weeks, and I still hate BFing. I had some issues, like most people did in the beginning, but that is all worked out. I'm just not into it. That said, since it is going well, I will be continuing to do it until she is about 6 months. Sometimes I feel like a cow...I'm not joking. I find BFing to be the least glamourous thing ever. I also know that until I stop BFing, the last 15 lbs I have to lose will not go away.

Hopefully for your sake, the feeling goes away...just know that it doesn't in everyone.

downwardsunshine · December 2012

If you hate it, then stop. There is nothing wrong with formula. I pumped for three months, and was miserable. Best thing I ever did was stop.

SnShne322 · December 2012

I switched to pumping at about 10 days. I was having so much anxiety over breastfeeding and was also having issues with it. Flat nipples, needing a shield, etc. I felt guilty doing it, but it wasn't worth not being able to sleep or crying when thinking about it.

I'm almost 2 months in and still pumping. I hate pumping, but not as much as BFing, and have passed all the time goals I set for myself. My biggest motivator is that I'm cheap. Sure, I could afford formula, but the longer I put it off, the more money I save.

amwoodard08 · December 2012

I just stopped breastfeeding this week. I still pump and add that to formula but my daughter was getting so aggravated with the breast. Her feedings were taking forever, 1 hour to 2 hours and she would still be hungry afterwards. I just wasn't producing enough. I felt more isolated, like I couldn't play with my 3 year old and I couldn't spend any time out of the house for the past 2 weeks after she was born from all the breastfeeding I was doing...don't feel ashamed though. At least you have tried and are trying but do what makes you happy, happy momma=happy baby. My son was never BF cause he was preemie but he's a very smart and healthy 3 year old. Nothing lost by not giving him the boob

rpt06 · December 2012

I never bf either of my children so I can't help with your question if that feeling of not liking it will go away but IMO if it's something you don't want to do just don't do it. The first few weeks of having a new baby is very hard, if it's not breastfeeding it'll probably be something else stressing you out. Just do whatever you think is right for you and baby and try to hang in there

itsmevkb · December 2012

It's not best if it's making you miserable, however, considering all the changes that happen after you have a baby are you sure it's specifically breastfeeding that is making you depressed or are you experiencing some baby blues?

With my first I breastfed for two and a half months and I hated it for almost the entire time. I had supply issues and so I was breastfeeding, formula feeding and pumping after every feeding. It was too much and I was much happier once I gave it up.

newenglander71 · December 2012

I detested breastfeeding in the beginning. It made me feel depressed, trapped and a lot of other negative emotions. I felt guilty even considering stopping since I had no physical issue going on, but couldn't imagine how I could continue. It seemed feedings were super long and frequent. I read a lot of posts about giving it time, it would become quicker, easier and more convenient and I thought it was all just propaganda. I knew in order for my family to be happy, I had to be happy, so I though ok at some point we will just switch to formula. And then one day I realized it really was all those things the other women said it would be. I am so glad I stuck it out, but I can completely understand why switching to formula might be necessary. Do what is best for you, without any guilt.

inateapot · December 2012

Keep in mind you can still breastfeed AND offer formula - DD2 gets one bottle a day of formula (because I'm too lazy to pump) from DH in the evening so I can get a solid 4-5 hours of sleep. I breast feed the rest of the time.

Hasn't seemed to affect my supply - DD is a solid 11 pounds at one month old.

meganflanary · December 2012

Without reading what everyone else wrote, I wanted to tell you I felt the exact same way. Breastfeeding was making me anxious, upset, sometimes even angry. I felt so guilty and went back and forth on it. I breastfed for 4 weeks and finally threw in the towel. I just couldn't keep going the way I was. And once I finally accepted that DS would be getting formula, my life changed. I was happier, I enjoyed feeding him, I didn't dread it and I finally began to bond with my son like so many mothers talk about.

There is such a stigma surrounding formula feeding, but millions of people do it, either because they have to or they choose to. You aren't a bad mother for choosing that route. In fact, you are a great mother for realizing that trying to continue on breastfeeding is making you unhappy. This should be a happy time with your new baby, so do what you feel will enhace that.

CottonGirl · December 2012

So glad to know I'm not alone in this! I'm still on the fence about breastfeeding. It does kind of stress me out. I'm not producing a ton, but I don't think I'm working hard enough at it. I will admit and not feel guilty about the fact that I need sleep to function and I like having some sleep! My LO, who is 8 weeks old, is sleeping a good 7 hours now, so I sleep too. I do not want to get up in the middle of the night and pump if I don't have to. I try to do as much as I can during the day, pumping and BF, but I still feel like there is not enough time. I want him to have some breastmilk, so I have been sticking with it. But mostly he is getting formula and he seems fine with either. We have a 2 month doc. appt. this week, so I'm going to also inquire with the pediatrician. I think you should do what you can for as long as you can. But don't feel guilty... It's going to be fine either way. We put way too much pressure on ourselves! You are doing a fantastic job!

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