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Natural Birth
ashmin
member
Long post...what would you do?
ashmin
member
I'll try to keep this as succinct as possible!
I am currently 38 weeks. Last week, my OB (whom I know is on page with me on all my natural birth wishes) went into preterm labor (she is currently 34 weeks). She is now on bed rest for the next two weeks.
When I found out she was in preterm labor, I decided that I needed to take action in finding another caregiver. Since I couldn't have her, I figured I would go for what was my first choice in the beginning, a midwife at a hospital in Oklahoma City, which is 1 1/2 hours away. (The reason I compromised and chose this OB here is because my husband's fear of the drive).
So I met with the midwife on Tuesday of this week and I was so impressed with her. Don't get me wrong, I do love my OB, but I just got this great feeling that all of this was fate and I was meant to deliver with her this whole time. The one thing that really stood out to me was the no pressure at 41 weeks to induce, whereas with my OB, there will be. (I was induced at 41 weeks with my daughter).
I was so happy and felt confident about the change. I called yesterday morning to my OB's to ask for a refund of my prepayment so I could pay my new provider. The accountant was out, so I left a message. Then a few hours later, my OB calls me (from her cell phone at home). She really feels like she will be able to deliver me and wants me to come back to her whenever she is off of bed rest (the 11th, 3 days before my due date). I could continue to see the midwife for my 39 week appt, then go back to my OB for my 40 week appt, but the problem with all of that is money! I have already fully prepaid my OB $1500 and the midwife's office will want a prepayment of $650 ($130 due at next appointment). So I need a refund somewhere! Then when I do go into labor do I just call my OB and say, "can you deliver me today"? Then if not drive to OKC? It's just all a mess.
I guess my gut is really telling me that I belong with the midwife, and this is what I wanted all along, but I feel like I am betraying my OB. What would you do?
I am currently 38 weeks. Last week, my OB (whom I know is on page with me on all my natural birth wishes) went into preterm labor (she is currently 34 weeks). She is now on bed rest for the next two weeks.
When I found out she was in preterm labor, I decided that I needed to take action in finding another caregiver. Since I couldn't have her, I figured I would go for what was my first choice in the beginning, a midwife at a hospital in Oklahoma City, which is 1 1/2 hours away. (The reason I compromised and chose this OB here is because my husband's fear of the drive).
So I met with the midwife on Tuesday of this week and I was so impressed with her. Don't get me wrong, I do love my OB, but I just got this great feeling that all of this was fate and I was meant to deliver with her this whole time. The one thing that really stood out to me was the no pressure at 41 weeks to induce, whereas with my OB, there will be. (I was induced at 41 weeks with my daughter).
I was so happy and felt confident about the change. I called yesterday morning to my OB's to ask for a refund of my prepayment so I could pay my new provider. The accountant was out, so I left a message. Then a few hours later, my OB calls me (from her cell phone at home). She really feels like she will be able to deliver me and wants me to come back to her whenever she is off of bed rest (the 11th, 3 days before my due date). I could continue to see the midwife for my 39 week appt, then go back to my OB for my 40 week appt, but the problem with all of that is money! I have already fully prepaid my OB $1500 and the midwife's office will want a prepayment of $650 ($130 due at next appointment). So I need a refund somewhere! Then when I do go into labor do I just call my OB and say, "can you deliver me today"? Then if not drive to OKC? It's just all a mess.
I guess my gut is really telling me that I belong with the midwife, and this is what I wanted all along, but I feel like I am betraying my OB. What would you do?
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Re: Long post...what would you do?
What happens if you stick with your OB and it turns out she can't make your birth? Are you comfortable with her backup? There's the potential that she'll go into labor herself before you do! Is it doable for you to make the long drive for your remaining appts. with the midwife?
I would go with the provider you feel most confident about - don't worry about hurting your OB's feelings - you do what's best for you!
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The long drive isn't a huge issue because my parents, several good friends of mine and my brother in law live there. I have plenty of places to stay, especially if I go over and need NST's every few days.
I think you are right I need to stop worrying about hurting her feelings. She has to understand what a crazy situation this is for me....
I would switch to the midwife and not look back, at least for this pregnancy.
The chances of your OB being able to deliver you are pretty slim at this point. Even if she thinks she'll be able to be back in action, there's really no telling how she's going to feel or if she'll have a newborn before you. It's naive of her to think she can plan ahead like that. And I'd be concerned about her backup - is it just the 2 of them working together? If so, is the backup OB going to be swamped with a client load of 2 docs and no help? Too many what-ifs for me.
Sounds like you've got your answer. Best of luck!
I was in a similar situation. At my first OB appt, Dr. O. told me she too was expecting and due the month before me. She said I could continue seeing her, but I would have to be delivered by a different dr or I could switch drs now.
For me it was kind of a blessing because I never felt like Dr. O. was that on board with natural birth. I got a recommendation for another OB in the practice, Dr. R, who was supposed to be more supportive.
Fast forward two months and Dr. O. tragically suffers a miscarriage. I was asked if I wanted to switch back, in fact the nurse just assumed I would. I told them as politely as possible why I wanted to stay with Dr. R.
I got my natural birth two weeks ago. I would tell your OB your very legitimate concerns. If she is a professional, she will understand.
I thought I had things figured out, so yet again I called the office accountant for a refund. Then my doctor called me soon after. She is really fighting hard for me. She said, "I wouldn't normally do this, but I just love you so much as a patient and I really want to be there for your birth!" She gave me her personal cell phone number and everything. I told her that my next appointment with the midwife they will be wanting a payment, so she asked me how much is having her office cut me a check tomorrow to make that payment.
So as of now, we are going to go on a week by week basis. If she for some reason doesn't get off bed rest then they will refund me another amount to pay my new provider. So basically I could go either way.
Even though my heart was excited about the midwife, I know I can get a great natural birth with my existing OB (who I love too). How much she is fighting for me really shows me that she cares, and I SO appreciate that. So we shall see. My midwife thankfully understands the situation too and said, if it turns out your doctor can deliver then that's great too!
Oh and I guess if she pressures me to induce before I want to I can always say--I think I'll just have the midwife deliver me, thanks! Lol
I will keep everyone posted!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
That's really sweet that she's fighting for you, but she isn't being realistic about her own situation. She's close enough to the end for herself. She should know that even if she goes off bedrest, she may deliver very soon afterwords and she'll probably need to take it easy regardless. You may also go early (it's your 2nd, right?). I, personally, would not want to be up in the air at this point. Obviously it's your call, but your OB should understand your position.