I'm ready...and then I'm scared.

perfectlove09 · November 2012

I feel ready most the time. I know labor is hard...hence the name. I know it will hurt. I know the stages my body will go through. I understand the phases of labor. Last night we finished our 12 classes of Bradley. And I think "bring it on!" Then out of no where I'm terrified. Butterflies in my tummy, nervous and scared and almost want to cry. I know it's because I've never done this before and I can read everything I can get my hands on and talk to other moms but its not quite the same as going through it.
Do those of you that already have kids still feel this way?

laura1 · November 2012

I am very scared, too - and I have been through it 2 times already. I am having some contractions now, and I am hoping they stop! I am afraid for the pain (I am getting an epidural, though if I make it to the hospital in time), but I am also afraid of the changes that will happen after - how will my DS and DD react? Will they be ok while I am in the hospital? etc...

No matter how many times you go through it, I think everyone is afraid!!

StefandTodd · November 2012

I was so gung-ho natural birth and Bradley classes from long before I ever got pregnant...and there were still times I would have complete freak outs and think, "Oh god, maybe the baby will turn and I can just have a c-section"...totally not what I wanted, and I *knew/know* that c-sections are NOT easier, by any means, but my point is that no matter how prepared I felt, I still had times where I lost confidence in my ability and felt terrified and like anything but *feeling* labor would be so much easier. It was really scary. I think it's normal and okay to feel that way.

BUT...stay in that place for a moment, recognize what it is, and then remove yourself from that place right away... I did a lot of reading of birth affirmations (even google will give you tons of them!), and dwelled on the ones that really stuck with me...your body was MADE to do this...so many women before you have done it...every contraction will bring you closer to your baby...it will not last forever <--- This is my biggie these days.

Having been through it once before (and planning a home birth this time), I am still starting to have nerves myself. I watched More Business of Being Born, part 2 today...lots of birth stories by celebrities, and honestly, their description of their natural births had ME squirming and teary. But I just kept thinking...it won't last forever, it will end, and I will have my baby.

So find whatever it is that helps draw you to a more confident place, and use that. And realize that you have prepared for this, and you are made for this, and you are ready for this. It WILL be okay. Better than okay, actually. You'll do great. And when it's all over - and it will end!! - you get the most amazing reward ever. No one can ever, EVER prepare you for how amazing that reward is. Chin up!

rmaxim · November 2012

Yes, I'm also feeling like this can't happen soon enough, and dreading it at the same time. I will tell you that with the first one, once it started, there was no opportunity to be "afraid", you just deal with it. You will be fine!

BeccaLandes · November 2012

i am not nervous for the labor itself- my previous labor and delivery was quick and uneventful (well, except for the fact that i gave birth to 2 kids in the span of 15 minutes). i am expecting that i will get an epidural with this delivery, and that certainly eliminates my fear of agonizing pain! i trust my OB and the hospital completely.

my main anxiety is the way that our lives will change. bringing a new baby into our already busy lives, disrupting the only family my children have ever known. i worry that i won't love this new baby nearly as much as i love my sons, because i love them so intensely that it is hard to imagine feeling that way about anyone else.

so- i have those same feelings of anxiety, of being ready and excited and then not ready at all- just for different reasons!

kmount · November 2012

FTM myself too-- but I feel the exact same way. I freak out every once in a while that it's actually looming now (we are 2.5 hours from Dec here on the East Coast!). I think it's a lot of just being afraid of the unexpected. We'll be just fine...

hellopoppyseed · November 2012

No one is excited for intense pain and unknown circumstances. Of course there's a little anxiety and trepidation. It's normal. But just remind yourself of how many thousands of babies are born daily and how you body really was made to do this.

hasenpheffer86 · November 2012

I alternate between freaking out and being all mellow and ready for it too.

perfectlove09 · November 2012

All of your responses are so nice and really helpful. It sounds like we all have our ups and downs of fear and confidence, regardless of the nature of our fear.

Thank you all for your input, I'm going to have to save this post so I can come back to it when I'm feeling out of sorts.

StefandTodd:

I was so gung-ho natural birth and Bradley classes from long before I ever got pregnant...and there were still times I would have complete freak outs and think, "Oh god, maybe the baby will turn and I can just have a c-section"...totally not what I wanted, and I *knew/know* that c-sections are NOT easier, by any means, but my point is that no matter how prepared I felt, I still had times where I lost confidence in my ability and felt terrified and like anything but *feeling* labor would be so much easier. It was really scary. I think it's normal and okay to feel that way.

BUT...stay in that place for a moment, recognize what it is, and then remove yourself from that place right away... I did a lot of reading of birth affirmations (even google will give you tons of them!), and dwelled on the ones that really stuck with me...your body was MADE to do this...so many women before you have done it...every contraction will bring you closer to your baby...it will not last forever <--- This is my biggie these days.

Having been through it once before (and planning a home birth this time), I am still starting to have nerves myself. I watched More Business of Being Born, part 2 today...lots of birth stories by celebrities, and honestly, their description of their natural births had ME squirming and teary. But I just kept thinking...it won't last forever, it will end, and I will have my baby.

So find whatever it is that helps draw you to a more confident place, and use that. And realize that you have prepared for this, and you are made for this, and you are ready for this. It WILL be okay. Better than okay, actually. You'll do great. And when it's all over - and it will end!! - you get the most amazing reward ever. No one can ever, EVER prepare you for how amazing that reward is. Chin up!

This actually made me teary. Thank you for this, I'm printing the text of what you said out and keeping it with me. Today was the first day it ever crossed my mind that "maybe I just end up with a c-section". That's not what I want! I never would have even admitted to thinking that had you not said that you had before too. But for a second I thought that would be so much easier. Even though I'm very aware that is not the case.

I will look up birth affirmations. I never thought of that. And it really helps to remember that it will not last forever. I think that part is really important for all of us. For those of you that said you sometimes fear bringing the baby home will be hard for your current family, or that you don't know how you could love another one as much as your current little ones. Those feelings wont last forever and we just have to remember that.

magnoliablossom00 · November 2012

I think everyone feels this way. I've been through labor before, so I'm actually MORE nervous and LESS nervous all at the same time. I'm more nervous b/c I know how much it hurts this time, but less nervous b/c I know what to expect, etc.

I'm more nervous about the newborn stage b/c I know how hard it is to be exhausted all the time, and less nervous because I know that it doesn't last forever (although it felt like it with LO1!).

I'm less nervous to have a baby in the house, but more nervous about how I'm going to handle two kids under two, all while dh is usually working 80 hours a week.

If there's one thing I've learned in just my short time as a mom, it's that you are never "ready" and there are plenty of times that you will freak out on the inside. I just try to remember that I am now a mom, and I am not "allowed" to freak out (at least in front of my kids), if that makes sense. I just try to keep calm and focus on getting over the issue.

GL!

letsgox · December 2012

Recently the wife of a coworker of mine had twins and they used the Bradley Method. I saw him the other day and it said it was difficult... but the BEST challenge they had ever faced! His wife did great and felt that the classes had prepared them as much as possible!
While I'm not planning to 'go natural' I thought you would like to hear of yet another successful story! GL!

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · December 2012

Yes, I feel that way, and I'm having an RCS. I think it is natural to feel that way about both the known and unknown. Every pregnancy is different, so for STM's, just because things went one way the first time doesn't mean they will go that way the second, and for FTM's, you can only try to prepare yourself and then see what happens.

Be proud of yourself for getting as prepared as you can, and walk in knowing you've done all that you can, and then just see what happens.

KatieKim0815 · December 2012

I am no help because I am WAY more nervous for this one than my first. I think it's way worse in my mind than when I remember it because I had a great first birth experience and I was calm in the moment and dealt with it as it came. And the cliche's true...it is so worth it!

However, I have been having a lot of anxiety about the birth lately. Mostly I am just overthinking things I think!!!

ambrlynn8 · December 2012

I think this is a totally normal feeling. I've been through labor once, and sometimes I think, "Oh jeez, just get this baby OUT." Then, the contractions start, and I'm like, "Oh crap. This hurts." lol. The important thing is to remember, it's only a short period of time that you're in pain, and the reward after that is the best reward you could get--a healthy LO.

I spend a lot of time worrying about the changes ahead and then, simultaneously being scared and excited. So, you're not alone.

I'm ready...and then I'm scared.

Re: I'm ready...and then I'm scared.

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