Multiple loss people

ravenclaw1 · November 2012

My OB followup is today. I already have an RE appt next Tuesday.

Couple questions

1 An IRL friend recd a perinatologist vs an RE. Why would you go to one vs the other?

2 How many of you went to a specialist of some sort after two losses?

3 If my OB offers blood testing today, should I go for it or wait until my RE?

4 I'm freaking out. I can haz hugs?

5 Any random advice or funny stories to stop me from freaking are also welcome.

Kristintific · November 2012

Yes get the testing w OB, your re may want more tests done but it's ok. I have had three losses and am going to one now. Your RE group should have a peri on staff. Mine does. So yeah you will prob have access to both.

Gatorsgirl731 · November 2012

Of course you can have lots and lots of hugs. I was at a specialist before the losses so I can't help on that one. My OB and I are pulling out all the stops for the next three cycles, her good good friend is an RE and they work together when my OB sends one of her patients up. So we have been running tests the RE would do in the first few visits, that way if in 3 cycles I have not gotten a BFP we can jump right in with the RE with all the initial tests run. Does that make sence?

jenn0021 · November 2012

I've had two losses. The doctor that I was with for both those pregnancies didn't want to do any testing as I hadn't reached 3 losses yet. I changed doctors and went to the best ob/gyn in the city here. He was super nice and said while he thought it was probably bad luck, he didn't mind running some basic bloodwork. But I have no idea what he tested for. I know there was thyroid and then some chromosome testing as well. Everything came back normal and we were given the go ahead to try again.

Sorry that I'm not much help. It was a year and a half ago and I can't remember much of it. I do know that I didn't get the full RPL panel done. If I have another loss, I will for sure be pushing for more testing.

Sending you some ((hugs)).

TLR813 · November 2012

GL at your appointment!

1 An IRL friend recd a perinatologist vs an RE. Why would you go to one vs the other?

No idea what a perinatologist is, and I don't see an RE, so I'm no help here.

2 How many of you went to a specialist of some sort after two losses?

I haven't. I planned on seeing an RE if I had a 3rd loss.

3 If my OB offers blood testing today, should I go for it or wait until my RE?

Why not? IMO it can't hurt (unless the testing is a lot of $$). Maybe your OB would test for something your RE wouldn't?

4 I'm freaking out. I can haz hugs?

((((((((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))))))))))))

5 Any random advice or funny stories to stop me from freaking are also welcome.

This is half funny, half scary. Might take your mind off things for a minute though!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=7N5OhNplEd4

LSzwaya · November 2012

A perinatologist is a high risk doctor that usually sees women in the second and third tri of their pregnancies if they are having complications or have a particularly tricky issue with their pregnancy. I saw one before I saw an RE she kind of basically told me there wasn't much she could do for me and pointed me towards the RE. So I would skip the middle man. GO for the testing. The RE can fill in any holes that the OB missed and at least you'll have some info to go from at your RE appointment. Basically, OBs and peris keep you pregnant/care for your pregnancy in the 2nd and 3rd tri and deliver your baby. REs will get you and keep you pregnant in the 1st tri. Good luck, raven and big big hugs.

katharine25 · November 2012

Bump burp

sammer818 · November 2012

1. An IRL friend recd a perinatologist vs an RE. Why would you go to one vs the other?
I thought a perinatologist was someone you see while pregnant. By definition, the prefix "peri" means during, so I would think you really don't have a reason to see one until you are pregnant again. I would go to the RE.
2 How many of you went to a specialist of some sort after two losses?
I actually saw the RE in while losing my third (long story), but after my 2nd loss, my OB recommended I see one and I would have gone to the RE after my 2nd if I wouldn't have gotten pregnant right away.
3 If my OB offers blood testing today, should I go for it or wait until my RE?
I would definitely recommend doing the testing sooner than later. I would also recommend making sure those results either get sent to the RE or you hand carry them with you to the appointment. Doctors usually will not repeat tests that were just done (it's a waste of money) so the RE should be able to use whatever testing your OB does. If you OB will not do the testing, ask them why. If you are ok paying OOP, make sure you let them know. My OB left it up to me after my 2nd loss whether or not I wanted testing, and I explained that after 2 d&cs, I had hit my out of pocked max for the year, and I wanted to do it all. He was OK with that. I would also maybe do some research before your appointment and go in with a list of testing you would like to get started with. IMO, it's always good to be an active part of your healthcare. Maybe you could just ask for some basics, and leave it up to the RE to do more extensive testing.
4 I'm freaking out. I can haz hugs?
*HUGE HUGS* to you sweetie.
5 Any random advice or funny stories to stop me from freaking are also welcome

My RE actually ended up being the doctor who delivered my OB's first child and was his mentor in med school. When I had my appointment, we ended up talking about my OB for like 15 minutes. It was really weird. Other than that, I got nothing. THe RE I saw was amazing, but he didn't really help much. He diagnosed me with a bicornuate uterus, but that was it. He told me I had no reason to come back unless I had another loss. I had a subsequent loss, but I also had a new OB who did a bucketload more testing, and I really don't have a reason to go back to the RE because I've had basically every blood test and procedure in the book, besides the HSG which I will have soon-ish (I hope).

Good luck with everything.

katharine25 · November 2012

1 An IRL friend recd a perinatologist vs an RE. Why would you go to one vs the other? An RE. You've had early losses. A peri specializes in pregnancy complications relating to the baby. Knowing your history, you should also see a hematologist.

2 How many of you went to a specialist of some sort after two losses? I went to the RE after 3 but had lots of testing done by 3 dofferent dr.'s prior to the 2nd that showed nothing.

3 If my OB offers blood testing today, should I go for it or wait until my RE? Go for it. I suspect you may get yor "answer" here, and it will be up to you if you really want to delve into more extensive testing or not to rule out any additional what ifs

4 I'm freaking out. I can haz hugs? ::::many hugs::::

5 Any random advice or funny stories to stop me from freaking are also welcome.
Don't be like me ask your DH when the last time he masturbated was in front of the nurse.

lindsayanne14 · November 2012

jenn0021:

I've had two losses. The doctor that I was with for both those pregnancies didn't want to do any testing as I hadn't reached 3 losses yet. I changed doctors and went to the best ob/gyn in the city here. He was super nice and said while he thought it was probably bad luck, he didn't mind running some basic bloodwork. But I have no idea what he tested for. I know there was thyroid and then some chromosome testing as well. Everything came back normal and we were given the go ahead to try again.

Sorry that I'm not much help. It was a year and a half ago and I can't remember much of it. I do know that I didn't get the full RPL panel done. If I have another loss, I will for sure be pushing for more testing.

Sending you some ((hugs)).

My experience so far has been pretty much like Jenn's. In my area, most RE's seem to want 3 losses before they will see you so if I have another, I will be going that route. Here is a big, squishy hug for you!

ravenclaw1 · November 2012

sammer818:
I had hit my out of pocked max for the year, and I wanted to do it all

OMG, this is me. I actually hit my max in April because I broke my wrist and had to have surgery, so I've been flying free since then (yay... I guess?...)

I want to go balls to the wall between now and the end of December for medical costs. Bring it on. Anything that can be covered by insurance needs to get done.

ravenclaw1 · November 2012

car seat:
(((((((((more hugs))))))))

Do something nice for yourself today, even if it's just getting a hot chocolate or indulging in a little retail therapy. Find something that will make you smile, even if just for a few minutes.

I hope that this appointment today will help you feel as though you're getting on the right track. I always feel better when I leave a doctor with a plan, and I hope that you get that bit of relief today, too.

thanks ... I think your first suggestion sounds fun. I'll see what I can arrange. I did get the fabric I ordered last week, so maybe I'll start my quilt.

I like plans. A lot. They make me feel like I'm wallowing around a lot less than I am now.

ravenclaw1 · November 2012

TLR813:

This is half funny, half scary. Might take your mind off things for a minute though!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=7N5OhNplEd4

I watched that yesterday. I would've crapped my pants

ravenclaw1 · November 2012

katharine25:
Don't be like me ask your DH when the last time he masturbated was in front of the nurse.

omg. my H would die.

you bring the LOL's

egsquared · November 2012

After two losses, my OB ran some basic tests [thyroid and I don't know what else]. After three losses, we went to the RE and had the full RPL testing done. Good luck and big [[[hugs]]]!

katharine25 · November 2012

Just to add, your OB should be able to run clotting panels on you. Make sure you emphasize that's what you want. S/He may be somewhat limited in what they can test, but even one positive test can lead to a treatment protocol that spans multiple test results. Definitely ask your OB if they would be on board with potentially treating you with Baby Aspirin & Lovenox. I'll hazard a guess that the response will be telling as to whether you need to seek further help or not.

RunningGal900 · November 2012

1 An IRL friend recd a perinatologist vs an RE. Why would you go to one vs the other? I don't know the difference. I just looked up REs on my insurance and went to see one.

2 How many of you went to a specialist of some sort after two losses? I did. I refused to sit around and wait for this to happen to me a third time just because of convention. My research said that the medical community is starting to recognize 2 losses as recurrent m/c. The RE didn't seem to think it was weird that I as seeing him after 2 losses., but my OB also agreed it was time to start testing.

3 If my OB offers blood testing today, should I go for it or wait until my RE? I'd go ahead and get bloodwork started. When you go the RE tell him/her what you already were tested for and are awaiting results (or maybe you'll have them!). Get a copy to him/her. My OB is recommending such a large workup that I had to schedule an appointment to get the lab work done (where with all my other testing I just walked up whenever I wanted), so they might not be able to do it today, but you could get an appointment for it on the books

4 I'm freaking out. I can haz hugs? Of course, (((hugs)))

5 Any random advice or funny stories to stop me from freaking are also welcome.

I had my second loss Monday. I called that day to set up ant RE appt thinking it would be weeks, but they saw me Tuesday. I went in Tuesday, got his recommendations and then spoke to my OB and got her recommendations. She actually wants to do a far more comprehensive blood workup than the RE does. I went back and forth a lot and have decided that I am going to stay with my OB for now. I have a relationship with her and I really feel like she cares about me and my husband. The RE's office was much more clinical and businesslike (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, I need someone to keep me pregnant, not be my friend, but at this juncture, I don't feel like we are there yet). Plus, I have email access to my OB which I take advantage of quite frequently ;-) If my all my tests come back normal and she says we're done with testing, I will go back to the RE and have further testing. It just felt nice to go to a specialist and get a second opinion on what is going on with us. And nice to have that option open. He was very nice and we went through my situation and our options and it feels great to have a plan. I go in to my OBs office on Tuesday for all the bloodwork.

Good luck! Please let us know how it goes.

RunningGal900 · November 2012

ravenclaw1:
sammer818:
I had hit my out of pocked max for the year, and I wanted to do it all
OMG, this is me. I actually hit my max in April because I broke my wrist and had to have surgery, so I've been flying free since then (yay... I guess?...)
I want to go balls to the wall between now and the end of December for medical costs. Bring it on. Anything that can be covered by insurance needs to get done.

This is me too. We haven't hit our OOP max (thankfully, it's really high), but we are on a high deductible plan and between all the medical costs with my m/cs, I've hit the deductible. I told my OB I want anything and everything to be done that can be done before the end of the year and I have to start paying for it again. The RE recommended a saline sonohystogram (sp?) and I'm just hoping and praying AF shows early enough that I can schedule it in 2012!

QuigleyCat1 · November 2012

Sorry, no advice. My OB suggests testing in the event of a 3rd m/c. I've had two. But I DO hazzz HUGzzzzzz for you! Good luck with your appointment today and Tuesday!

KMW08 · November 2012

1. I have no idea on this one.

2. When one of the ob docs came in to tell me about my loss on the ultrasound, he had actually looked in my chart before coming in and he happened to mainly work out of the RE's office and with 2 losses in 6mos he recommended seeing an RE, so that's how I got started. Otherwise, it's usually 3 losses.

3. I would do any blood testing that is offered, the more the merrier and it may get stuff done sooner, or at least started.

4. BIGBIGIBIGBIGBIGBIGBIG HUUUUUGGGGGGSSSSS!!!

5. No advice/random stories but here's the list of the RPL lab tests my RE ran at my first visit, I haven't had any labs since;

Beta2 Glycoprotein 1 antibodies IgG & IgA, Chromosone analysis, Free TH, Prothrombin Gene Mutation, Homocysteine, Lupus Anticoagulant, MTHFR detection, PT & PTT, TSH, Thyroid Antibodies, Factor V Leiden, Antithrombin Panel, Cardiolipin Antibodies IgA IgG IgM, CRP Assay, HA1C

meeblebee · November 2012

First of all, GOOD LUCK!!! You are being proactive...this is a good thing!

1 An IRL friend recd a perinatologist vs an RE. Why would you go to one vs the other?

I actually had my first peri appointment yesterday and had a really good experience. It was a pre-pregnancy consult and she specializes in high risk pregnancies. Based on your siggy, it looks like your a little like me...you don't have any trouble getting pregnant, you have trouble staying pregnant. I've been pregnant three times since March. An RE's focus is getting you pregnant and a peri's is keeping you pregnant. However, the peri can run the same tests as an RE and get you on a "plan" for the next pregnancy. We ran a full RPL panel yesterday including karotyping on me and DH. Plus, with my insurance, I will have better luck going to a peri that is in network and associated with a OB clinic rather than a fertility clinic.

2 How many of you went to a specialist of some sort after two losses?

I didn't get a referral until after 3. That said, my OB did run some basic tests after 2 losses. Checked the thyroid, diabetes and Factor V Leiden.

3 If my OB offers blood testing today, should I go for it or wait until my RE? Yes, absolutely. Take any sort of test they will give you. Knowledge is power and you'll know you're doing everything you can as a mother.

4 I'm freaking out. I can haz hugs? Lots of Hugs and luck to you. My heart breaks for those of us who have to go through this once, let alone multiple times.

5 Any random advice or funny stories to stop me from freaking are also welcome. I asked DH what questions he had for the peri...his response "What the H is going on?" I can't think of a more all encompassing question!

Again, Good Luck! This is a good thing. You're moving forward to try to get answers.

[Deleted User] · November 2012

The user and all related content has been deleted.

hungryhippo · November 2012

QuigleyCat1:
Sorry, no advice. My OB suggests testing in the event of a 3rd m/c. I've had two. But I DO hazzz HUGzzzzzz for you! Good luck with your appointment today and Tuesday!

This was me. Then, I ended up seeing an RE after 9 unsuccessful cycles after loss number 2 and it turns out my insurance would have covered* RPL testing right after the second loss. I ended up having a mix of RPL testing, including karyotying for me and DH, and IF testing. Seeing an RE was a no brainer for me, because at that point, I couldn't even get pregnant anymore. 3 months later, I'm now on my first medicated cycle.

*I say "covered" but it still cost us at least $1,500 out of our own pocket.

And, I am one kick ass hugger:

hungryhippo · November 2012

I forgot my funny story. I present to you, "The night I met DH".

The night I met DH, I was out with girl friends to wish one of them Bon Voyage because she was leaving for Spain for 6 months, which was a very long time for a 21 year old to leave all of her friends. It was like this, but with beer:

We walked into an Irish bar and I saw DH, casually drinking his beer, with his collar turned up. He was so very British, and so very matchy-matchy wearing the SAME white polo shirt as all of the guys he was with. Turns out, they were soccer coaches from the UK coaching kids' soccer camps all summer.

He talked to every single one of my friends before he finally came over to talk to me. I was so excited he finally approached me. To this day, I still accuse him of being shot down by all of my friends first.

Fast forward a few hours, and we had already shared our first, delicious kiss.

But the night was coming to an end, and I wasn't too pleased about the fact that he only asked for my email address.

I was sober that night, and he and several other coaches were staying less than a mile from my house, so I gave them a ride home, but not before taking them through the drive through at Taco Bell.

I dropped them off, had one last kiss, and made my way home, smitten, but sure it was just a bit of fun to remember someday when I get old. The next morning, I get back in my car to go to work, and what do I see but TWO wallets left in the backseat of my car. These belonged to the two friends, not my DH. He swears it wasn't on purpose. So, we had to get together again that very night to return both the wallets. The rest is history.

RedPhoenix625 · November 2012

ravenclaw1:
My OB followup is today. I already have an RE appt next Tuesday. Couple questions
1 An IRL friend recd a perinatologist vs an RE. Why would you go to one vs the other? I think everybody else pretty much answered this. An RE would be the logical choice here.
2 How many of you went to a specialist of some sort after two losses? I was already seeing my RE for IF. But I don't think it's unreasonable to go after two losses.
3 If my OB offers blood testing today, should I go for it or wait until my RE? Do it. Can't hurt.
4 I'm freaking out. I can haz hugs?

5 Any random advice or funny stories to stop me from freaking are also welcome. Ummmm.....not off the top of my head. But I love you

katharine25 · November 2012

hungryhippo:
I forgot my funny story. I present to you, "The night I met DH".
...............
I dropped them off, had one last kiss, and made my way home, smitten, but sure it was just a bit of fun to remember someday when I get old. The next morning, I get back in my car to go to work, and what do I see but TWO wallets left in the backseat of my car. These belonged to the two friends, not my DH. He swears it wasn't on purpose. So, we had to get together again that very night to return both the wallets. The rest is history.

This is the cutest story!!!

ravenclaw1 · November 2012

Thanks for everything, ladies. My appointment went really well, and I feel a lot better right now.

My OB is willing to be agressive with a treatment for me on my next pregnancy. He ordered a full panel of blood tests... I told him to just do whatever could possibly indicate anything. The initial results from my D and C showed nothing abnormal, but the chromosomal testing isn't back yet for a few weeks.

We talked about him vs an RE, he gave me recs, but said most in the area wouldn't work with me until three losses. His response to that was good. He said "I hate seeing you go through one, two is horrible, I refuse to wait around for a third with you without doing extensive testing and more aggressive treatment once you get pregnant again." He ordered the same blood work panel an RE would and said I'd benefit from it coming from him vs an RE for insurance purposes, bc it wouldn't raise any red flags as being infertility related.

We talked a bit about my family history of blood clotting, which he said could be something, and he'd monitor the blood results for that.

So anyway. I think I'm still going to go to a consult with an RE, but wait for my test results to come back. I feel like it won't solve much to go to a different doctor until all this info comes back.

So that's my story for the day. Thanks for the hugs, advice, and awesome PIPs. I do feel so much better now, and it's nice to have a doctor who truly seems to care and who's willing to do something.

RedPhoenix625 · November 2012

Your doctor sounds awesome, raven! GL with getting some answers and solutions.

sunsetlove · November 2012

After my 2nd loss my Ob gave me two responses: the medical response: testing can only be done after 3 or more losses.. her personal response: i will immediately refer you to a wonderful fertility specialist whom I have worked closely with other patients and together we will find the answers you need and have a plan in order for the both of you to have a successful pregnancy.. I was referred to a wonderful fertility specialist.. she did testing and we found out I have MTHFR... both my losses occurred at 8weeks and I was so glad to have such a great OB who advocated for answers to our issues.. As for advice: don't lose hope.. one quick story I will share: a close friend of mine ( who also had the same fertility specialist) had experienced several losses.. and with the help with the fertility specialist she conceive.. she told me to never lose hope.. here's ((((HUGS)))) for you..

meeblebee · December 2012

So glad your appointment went well and your OB is willing to be aggressive! I wish I would have pushed for more after my 2nd loss. This waiting for results sucks! DH and I had an RPL panel testing on Wednesday including karotyping so it will be a couple weeks for us. Hope you hear back soon!

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