Second child baby shower

memommy86 · November 2012

Hi so I am pregnant with my second child and want to have a baby shower for it. My son is 5 and this baby that's on the way is with my very special so that is not my sons father. My mom wasn't involved in the shower for my son and wasn't even invited. My x mother did the whole thing and I was pretty upset that my mother wasn't there. So pretty much what I'm asking is do you think it's wrong to have another shower? Any input is welcome. Thanks ladies.

EastCoastBride · November 2012

The first step is to wait and see if someone offers to throw you one. In NO way is it acceptable for you to throw your own or ask someone to throw you one.

Past that - if someone offers, make your decision. I'm a believer that if you do have a shower for a 2nd child (or more), it needs to be small. this isn't a time to invite everyone you know. You've asked people in the past to buy a gift fo ryour child - at some point, you need to stop expecting them to buy you even more stuff.

mben1119 · November 2012

The ladies above me covered yes. To answer your question directly, yes I think it is wrong to have another shower. The end.

pamiva1 · November 2012

I think it depends on your circle of friends. We celebrate most babies with a shower, whether it be first baby or not, and everyone enjoys it. Gifts are much much smaller for 2nd plus babies and there is not a registry...just an excuse to get together. In your case, I think it sounds totally fine.

memommy86 · November 2012

No I deff would not be throwing one for myself I know that is very wrong. My mother offered because she wants to do one. It's not her fault she wasn't involved it wasn't like she just didn't go to it my x mom wouldn't even tell her about so she had no idea. I didn't know about it till it happened. It was a surprise for me. And for the ones that said asking people to buy a second gift it wouldn't be that way because as I said before in my initial post it was none of my friends or family that went to it none were invited or even knew about it. My family and friends were completely left out.

MrsI · November 2012

memommy86:
No I deff would not be throwing one for myself I know that is very wrong. My mother offered because she wants to do one. It's not her fault she wasn't involved it wasn't like she just didn't go to it my x mom wouldn't even tell her about so she had no idea. I didn't know about it till it happened. It was a surprise for me. And for the ones that said asking people to buy a second gift it wouldn't be that way because as I said before in my initial post it was none of my friends or family that went to it none were invited or even knew about it. My family and friends were completely left out.

I'm sorry not trying to be mean but "hearing" this asecond time it's bothering me. They weren't left out (other than your mom, usually grandmas are invited to all) but they chose not to have one for you. The fact that your ex's mom threw the shower she could dictate that it was only for her side of the family. Your side could have done something on their own but didn't. My MIL insisted on throwing me a shower with absolutely no one I knew and as embarrassed as I was getting gifts from strangers that MIL didn't even find important enought to invite to my wedding, I grinned and beared it. Then my mom and sisters threw me a shower for my family and friends.

As for your originally question, PPs covered it.

PrimRoseMama · November 2012

Nope. See if someone offers you one. If not, tough cookies, you don't get one.

jobiann · November 2012

Hi, welcome to the Baby Showers board...you must be new...

rhubarb123 · November 2012

If you mom wants to throw you a shower then you can accept. Just keep the guest list small and don't invite anyone that was invited to the first shower.

mauied08 · November 2012

whats the big deal about having a 2nd shower? her first baby shower was 5yrs ago. smh. i could understand this if it was a year or two ago and it was another shower for a boy. this post is just weird. i know lots of people who have more than one baby shower.

Liz4444 · November 2012

mauied08:
whats the big deal about having a 2nd shower? her first baby shower was 5yrs ago. smh. i could understand this if it was a year or two ago and it was another shower for a boy. this post is just weird. i know lots of people who have more than one baby shower.

Does an age gap or different genitals make her not a mother anymore that she would need to be welcomed into motherhood again? I never understood that argument.

Mleasnider · November 2012

I am having my second child. They will be 2 yrs apart. I had a boy first, and This one is a girl. I had two people offer and they r doing it together, but I am helping pay for things too. They r letting me make a lot of decisions on my own, and shopping with me. But I paid for location of event and some food and tableware. We invited family and close friends. No one has complained, and everyone is excited. I wanted to help pay, because showers r so expensive, and this is my second child. I wouldn't do ur own shower, but if someone offers then there's nothing wrong with saying yes. If someone doesn't like u r having another shower then tell them to kiss ur a** babies r expensive and most family members and friends would buy something for new baby anyway.

Mleasnider · November 2012

It's called a baby shower not a welcome to mommy hood shower. It's for the BABY. I think every baby deserves to be celebrated, whether with a few friends and family members or a large group of people. I am the oldest of 4 girls and I am the only one my mom was given showers for, also the only one with any special photos, videos and memorabilia of celebrating my coming arrival, my sisters have a few photos from birth, but it even close to what I have.

Mleasnider · November 2012

Liz4444:
mauied08:
whats the big deal about having a 2nd shower? her first baby shower was 5yrs ago. smh. i could understand this if it was a year or two ago and it was another shower for a boy. this post is just weird. i know lots of people who have more than one baby shower.
Does an age gap or different genitals make her not a mother anymore that she would need to be welcomed into motherhood again? I never understood that argument.

Mleasnider

Joined on 04-25-2010

42 Posts

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Mleasnider is online. Last active: 11-30-2012, 7:11 PM

It's called a baby shower not a welcome to mommy hood shower. It's for the BABY. I think every baby deserves to be celebrated, whether with a few friends and family members or a large group of people. I am the oldest of 4 girls and I am the only one my mom was given showers for, also the only one with any special photos, videos and memorabilia of celebrating my coming arrival, my sisters have a few photos from birth, but it even close to what I have.

Liz4444 · November 2012

Mleasnider:
I am having my second child. They will be 2 yrs apart. I had a boy first, and This one is a girl. I had two people offer and they r doing it together, but I am helping pay for things too. They r letting me make a lot of decisions on my own, and shopping with me. But I paid for location of event and some food and tableware. We invited family and close friends. No one has complained, and everyone is excited. I wanted to help pay, because showers r so expensive, and this is my second child. I wouldn't do ur own shower, but if someone offers then there's nothing wrong with saying yes. If someone doesn't like u r having another shower then tell them to kiss ur a babies r expensive and most family members and friends would buy something for new baby anyway.nbsp;nbsp;

Yes, babies are expensive. So, you should save your money and spend it on the baby instead of paying for a party. As for the rest of your post and your following post, well, it's too ridiculous to respond to.

And is it really so hard to spell out you and are?

Mleasnider · December 2012

Liz4444:
Mleasnider:
I am having my second child. They will be 2 yrs apart. I had a boy first, and This one is a girl. I had two people offer and they r doing it together, but I am helping pay for things too. They r letting me make a lot of decisions on my own, and shopping with me. But I paid for location of event and some food and tableware. We invited family and close friends. No one has complained, and everyone is excited. I wanted to help pay, because showers r so expensive, and this is my second child. I wouldn't do ur own shower, but if someone offers then there's nothing wrong with saying yes. If someone doesn't like u r having another shower then tell them to kiss ur a babies r expensive and most family members and friends would buy something for new baby anyway.nbsp;nbsp;
Yes, babies are expensive. So, you should save your money and spend it on the baby instead of paying for a party. As for the rest of your post and your following post, well, it's too ridiculous to respond to. And is it really so hard to spell out you and are?

Mleasnider · December 2012

Liz4444:
Mleasnider:
I am having my second child. They will be 2 yrs apart. I had a boy first, and This one is a girl. I had two people offer and they r doing it together, but I am helping pay for things too. They r letting me make a lot of decisions on my own, and shopping with me. But I paid for location of event and some food and tableware. We invited family and close friends. No one has complained, and everyone is excited. I wanted to help pay, because showers r so expensive, and this is my second child. I wouldn't do ur own shower, but if someone offers then there's nothing wrong with saying yes. If someone doesn't like u r having another shower then tell them to kiss ur a babies r expensive and most family members and friends would buy something for new baby anyway.nbsp;nbsp;
Yes, babies are expensive. So, you should save your money and spend it on the baby instead of paying for a party. As for the rest of your post and your following post, well, it's too ridiculous to respond to. And is it really so hard to spell out you and are?

I am using my ipad and it posted twice, but anyway. You are allowed to have ur opinion and I can have my own. I had friends volunteer to have a second shower for me, if u want to hate and be jealous that you don't have friends and family that want to celebrate the birth of a second child then you can do so. It is very common where I live for people to have showers for each baby. My husband and I own two profitable businesses and do not struggle with money, so money's not an issue for me, that is why have volunteered to help my hostesses pay for a few things here and there. I didn't need a shower to get gifts, it's to celebrate the baby.i was referring to the cost of a baby for the average american (making < 30,000 a year) its hard to save for a baby when cost of living is so high. This is my opinion you have a right to your own, but if people want to have 4 showers, if someone offers to throw it, they have a right to accept.

Liz4444 · December 2012

Mleasnider:
Liz4444:
Mleasnider:
I am having my second child. They will be 2 yrs apart. I had a boy first, and This one is a girl. I had two people offer and they r doing it together, but I am helping pay for things too. They r letting me make a lot of decisions on my own, and shopping with me. But I paid for location of event and some food and tableware. We invited family and close friends. No one has complained, and everyone is excited. I wanted to help pay, because showers r so expensive, and this is my second child. I wouldn't do ur own shower, but if someone offers then there's nothing wrong with saying yes. If someone doesn't like u r having another shower then tell them to kiss ur a babies r expensive and most family members and friends would buy something for new baby anyway.nbsp;nbsp;

Yes, babies are expensive. So, you should save your money and spend it on the baby instead of paying for a party. As for the rest of your post and your following post, well, it's too ridiculous to respond to.

And is it really so hard to spell out you and are?
 
I am using my ipad and it posted twice, but anyway. You are allowed to have ur opinion and I can have my own. I had friends volunteer to have a second shower for me, if u want to hate and be jealous that you don't have friends and family that want to celebrate the birth of a second child then you can do so. It is very common where I live for people to have showers for each baby. My husband and I own two profitable businesses and do not struggle with money, so money's not an issue for me, that is why have volunteered to help my hostesses pay for a few things here and there. I didn't need a shower to get gifts, it's to celebrate the baby.i was referring to the cost of a baby for the average american (making < 30,000 a year) its hard to save for a baby when cost of living is so high. This is my opinion you have a right to your own, but if people want to have 4 showers, if someone offers to throw it, they have a right to accept.  

You are so right, I have no friends and family and I am poor... I am totally just jealous.

Insert sarcasm font here.

BallSox · December 2012

Mleasnider:
Liz4444:
Mleasnider:
I am having my second child. They will be 2 yrs apart. I had a boy first, and This one is a girl. I had two people offer and they r doing it together, but I am helping pay for things too. They r letting me make a lot of decisions on my own, and shopping with me. But I paid for location of event and some food and tableware. We invited family and close friends. No one has complained, and everyone is excited. I wanted to help pay, because showers r so expensive, and this is my second child. I wouldn't do ur own shower, but if someone offers then there's nothing wrong with saying yes. If someone doesn't like u r having another shower then tell them to kiss ur a babies r expensive and most family members and friends would buy something for new baby anyway.nbsp;nbsp;
Yes, babies are expensive. So, you should save your money and spend it on the baby instead of paying for a party. As for the rest of your post and your following post, well, it's too ridiculous to respond to. And is it really so hard to spell out you and are?

I am using my ipad and it posted twice, but anyway. You are allowed to have ur opinion and I can have my own. I had friends volunteer to have a second shower for me, if u want to hate and be jealous that you don't have friends and family that want to celebrate the birth of a second child then you can do so. It is very common where I live for people to have showers for each baby. My husband and I own two profitable businesses and do not struggle with money, so money's not an issue for me, that is why have volunteered to help my hostesses pay for a few things here and there. I didn't need a shower to get gifts, it's to celebrate the baby.i was referring to the cost of a baby for the average american (making < 30,000 a year) its hard to save for a baby when cost of living is so high. This is my opinion you have a right to your own, but if people want to have 4 showers, if someone offers to throw it, they have a right to accept.

It amazes me that you've managed to run two profitable businesses when you can't even make sense on an internet forum. But then again, I guess there are business where you don't have to be educated to own, so maybe that's the answer.

The purpose of a shower is to shower a new mother with the things she needs for motherhood.

You don't have a bridal shower to shower the wedding or the husband, do you? People don't bring flower arrangements and centerpieces. You buy mixers and sheets....things that a new wife would need to make her life in her new home easier and more comfortable.

You buy a new mom things to make her life easier: blankets, boppies, pacis, strollers, etc. A baby doesn't physically need/want much. They want to feel loved, be fed and kept clean. Legally, they have to have a car seat, but that's still not a need the baby dictates. They don't really care if they have a boob or a bottle, a paci or a nipple, a lap or a boppy. They don't care if it's a new stroller or a second hand one or if the curtains in the room match the sheets on their crib. They don't give two shakes if you throw their dirty diaper in the laundry, in the trash or in diaper genie. This is all stuff that a MOTHER wants and receives in the shower celebrating her entering the world of MOTHERHOOD.

If you want to celebrate the baby, have a party after the baby is here. If you want to celebrate your pregnancy, have a party while you're still pregnant (even though that's kind of attention whoreish, imo). If you're "so rich that you don't need anyone to buy you stuff and can help pay for the shower", why in the world are you letting someone throw you a shower for a second baby? You don't need a shower for two reasons: 1, it's a second baby and 2, you're apparently way better off that most people.

ordinary1 · December 2012

I am not really sure where I stand on the shower for baby #2 issue, but if you do accept it should be a small affair. Also, your mom, family, and friends were not left out of the first pregnancy. They could have given you a baby shower, but they chose not to. If they want to give you a shower, whatever, but IMO it is wrong for it to be looked at as a make up shower.

Cranang · December 2012

Mleasnider:

Liz4444:
Mleasnider:
I am having my second child. They will be 2 yrs apart. I had a boy first, and This one is a girl. I had two people offer and they r doing it together, but I am helping pay for things too. They r letting me make a lot of decisions on my own, and shopping with me. But I paid for location of event and some food and tableware. We invited family and close friends. No one has complained, and everyone is excited. I wanted to help pay, because showers r so expensive, and this is my second child. I wouldn't do ur own shower, but if someone offers then there's nothing wrong with saying yes. If someone doesn't like u r having another shower then tell them to kiss ur a babies r expensive and most family members and friends would buy something for new baby anyway.nbsp;nbsp;
Yes, babies are expensive. So, you should save your money and spend it on the baby instead of paying for a party. As for the rest of your post and your following post, well, it's too ridiculous to respond to. And is it really so hard to spell out you and are?

I am using my ipad and it posted twice, but anyway. You are allowed to have ur opinion and I can have my own. I had friends volunteer to have a second shower for me, if u want to hate and be jealous that you don't have friends and family that want to celebrate the birth of a second child then you can do so. It is very common where I live for people to have showers for each baby. My husband and I own two profitable businesses and do not struggle with money, so money's not an issue for me, that is why have volunteered to help my hostesses pay for a few things here and there. I didn't need a shower to get gifts, it's to celebrate the baby.i was referring to the cost of a baby for the average american (making < 30,000 a year) its hard to save for a baby when cost of living is so high. This is my opinion you have a right to your own, but if people want to have 4 showers, if someone offers to throw it, they have a right to accept.

Who let this twit on the board??

Also, for some fun, read her profile.

I'm wondering what sorts of "successful businesses" allow for such ridiculous writing.

And where is this $30,000 crap coming from. I mean, babies aren't cheap, but I haven't spent NEAR $30K so far on her. Sheesh.

missbrittneynicole · December 2012

Tacky...tacky...tacky, and not as in the op. I am referring to the rude and harsh opinions.

True, that the baby may not care about the shower or the gifts. But, the fact that a mother has people in her life that want to celebrate the baby and her new journey through motherhood is something to cherish.

If you do not think a second shower is acceptable. Don't go to one or don't have one. It's that easy.

Although, I still believe that you should never have your own shower. If someone is willing to through you a shower and you are gracious enough to accept it....Go For It!

As for all the talk and bashing about grammar, it's not very polite. It wouldn't hurt people in this world to be a little kinder. It also has nothing to do with the original post.

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. -Will Durant

Cedawson62 · December 2012

If anything you dont have to consider it a second shower. My first child was a little boy and hell be four in june. This child is a girl and i pondered having a second shower myself, my family is against it but NOT against a small gathering to help celebrate this baby, as it is a new baby and a totally different gender. But were not doing a full out shower, i can buy the gear and crib and what not on my own. Were calling it a "Dress The Baby" party. Bring diapers or an outfit instead of the big things. Not technically a shower but still helpful.

Cranang · December 2012

Cedawson62:
If anything you dont have to consider it a second shower. My first child was a little boy and hell be four in june. This child is a girl and i pondered having a second shower myself, my family is against it but NOT against a small gathering to help celebrate this baby, as it is a new baby and a totally different gender. But were not doing a full out shower, i can buy the gear and crib and what not on my own. Were calling it a "Dress The Baby" party. Bring diapers or an outfit instead of the big things. Not technically a shower but still helpful.

Good thing it's not just partially another gender.

Would you not want to celebrate if the baby was the same sex?

Bad excuses and semantics...it's still a shower, and you're trying to loot your friends and family for gifts.

Cedawson62 · December 2012

bad excuses?

Partially another gender? Can you not read or are you just nit picking things?

Do you get your kicks of putting down peoples opinions? See that right there, its an opininon.

so your second child is not as special as your first? just a knock off right? And loot? How is it looting if someone else throws the shower for you?

You try to point out valid reasons for shooting down someones opinion on the matter of THEIR child. By all means if you want to have another shower then do so it is YOUR child. if your family is throwing it for you then i dont believe it is looting from them, taking from them, or anything in reguards to that matter. Small gathering of friends and family or huge gathering doesnt make a difference, it is your child and you celerbrate his or her arrival (not partial his or her arrival) how you want to

mauied08 · December 2012

who came up with the whole #2nd shower is tacky thing? if some1 wants to give you a shower, i dont see that as being tacky. i think the person who came up with this idea that 2nd showers are tacky prob. is just plain out jealous and needs a stool softener. i can understand throwing her own baby shower then thats pretty sad, or if the person is getting knocked up back to back and has over 3kids then i wouldnt attend the 4th baby shower.lol this person has a 5 year old and i doubt she has kept any of her baby things for that long, so it seems that she will need some baby essentials and if someone is being nice enough to give her a shower she should not feel like shes being tacky for agreeing to having another baby shower...5 years later. gosh!

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