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Blended Families
Ginlyn0
member
My SIL...
Ginlyn0
member
is pregnant....yeah, the one that was still married to my brother. She posted on FB that she found out yesterday (the day of my brother's funeral). She basically used my brother to announce it. She said how it was going to be a tough journey for the boys and that she found out she will be going through her own journey. Then went on to say "(My brother's name) you better tell God that I really need a girl this time." So now besides taking care of my brother's 3 that are hers that she's not used to taking care of plus the little boy she has that is not my brother's there is now a 5th child in her house. This furthers my concerns about her drawing more money off my brother's social security considering this child was ALSO conceived while married to my brother. And the 15 yo old was verbally abused by this boyfriend of hers (which is why he is staying with her brother right now) and she was supposed to be leaving him in December when her lease is up, now who knows if she will.
I seriously cannot make this stuff up.
DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My SIL...
Forgive me, but what a POS!! I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this right now.
But I do want to set your mind at ease on the Soc Sec side. She will not be able to draw more. There is a max amount and that is all there is. Your brother would have had to be named on the birth certificates for the 4th and now 5th child to receive benefits.
This sounds like a HOT mess.
Other than this insanity how are you holding up?
Depending on the state her husband would be the legal father regardless of paternity and listed on the BC or considered the father for legal purposes such as Soc. Sec. unless he actively went to court and denied paternity.
So this is a legit concern particularly if she lives in the eastern part of the country where presumptive paternity is still common.
Can I ask why they never got divorced?
I feel so bad for his kids. How are they doing?
Her concern is for his FI that he had a child with who was raising those three kids. The ex who was still the legal wife will get benefits as the wife. She is concerned that the ex will also get a larger of the benefits for the kids since she will have two kids that were not his but they life in a state that automatically says he is the father since they were married, his FI who he was living with and raising those three kids with also has a child with him, bad enough for her if kids benefits were split by 4 and she only got 1/4 but it will likely get split by 6 and she will only get 1/6. Hope that made sense.
Basically what Jen said. His FI actually has 2 kids with him, was raising the other 3 of his kids until this happened (my brother has 5). SIL ran off years ago to MS and abandoned them to go be with a guy she met on the internet and seriously didn't call or anything. She moved back a few years ago ended up pregnant with some guy's kid (she's not even sure who his dad was). Has only seen her nearly 8 year old about 4 times overnight since he was 2 months old up until last week. She would let the older boys come and spend the night more often but I'm talking every 3-4 months maybe. She and my brother have always been poor and that was their excuse for not getting divorced. I tried a thousand times to convince my brother to go get the divorce done. Especially after she became pregnant with the kid that wasn't his.They looked at it like a piece of paper and nothing more.
The plan was finally for them to get divorced when they got their income tax this year because he and his FI wanted to get married this coming April on their "anniversary." SIL also finally wanted it done because she thought she was going to get engaged to her current boyfriend. This pregnancy is with her current boyfriend who is not the father of any of the other kids. My brother and his FI have been together 7+ years. His FI has been supporting the kids the whole time. My brother has pretty much been a stay at home dad with an occasional job here and there for the past 7 years. I actually feel really bad for his FI and her having to deal with all this yet never getting to marry him.
The law in our state is that the husband is the "presumed father" unless contested and proven otherwise. He wasn't worried about it because she never "claimed" he was his but asked his permission to give him the same last name as her and the boys which he agreed to. While my brother's 2 older kids (1 is not a minor anymore) who are now with SIL should get benefits, she will also get benefits as the spouse so that is already 3 claims. His FI will only get 2. If the additional kids are added that is 5 claimed on her side versus 2 on his FI's side. So even if split evenly per kid and his spouse, her household will get more even though she has the same number of biological minor children with him as his FI.
Our states family code is below and this is my concern. I want his biological kids taken care of. It will really tick me off his biological kids are shorted on money they need because of his and SIL's poor decisions. I am really hoping SIL is not smart enough to figure any of this out and only files for his biological kids but who knows for sure.
PRESUMPTION OF PATERNITY. (a) A man is presumed to be the father of a child if:
(1) he is married to the mother of the child and the child is born during the marriage;
(2) he is married to the mother of the child and the child is born before the 301st day after the date the marriage is terminated by death, annulment, declaration of invalidity, or divorce;
(3) he married the mother of the child before the birth of the child in apparent compliance with law, even if the attempted marriage is or could be declared invalid, and the child is born during the invalid marriage or before the 301st day after the date the marriage is terminated by death, annulment, declaration of invalidity, or divorce;
(4) he married the mother of the child after the birth of the child in apparent compliance with law, regardless of whether the marriage is or could be declared invalid, he voluntarily asserted his paternity of the child, and:
(A) the assertion is in a record filed with the bureau of vital statistics;
(B) he is voluntarily named as the child's father on the child's birth certificate; or
(C) he promised in a record to support the child as his own; or
(5) during the first two years of the child's life, he continuously resided in the household in which the child resided and he represented to others that the child was his own.
(b) A presumption of paternity established under this section may be rebutted only by:
(1) an adjudication under Subchapter G; or
(2) the filing of a valid denial of paternity by a presumed father in conjunction with the filing by another person of a valid acknowledgment of paternity as provided by Section 160.305.
ETA: in response to Mary's question about how I'm holding up.... as best as can be expected I guess. It really sucks. While he made poor choices, he was my big brother and was my protector for the longest time. I miss him terribly. I am still having a horrible time sleeping and Melatonin is my best friend right now.
my suggestion was going to be the same as wahoo but reading your state guidlines it seems only your brother or another potential father can dispute the paternity. that sucks. do you think sil will try to file and get that much and take away from the other kids?
and seriously, she couldnt have kept her pregnancy a secret for a couple weeks. thats a nightmare