update and huge decision

emtbd26 · November 2012

Ok so a few days ago I posted about my bfn after iui 2. The nurse had told us we needed to come in for consult and of course my mind was racing so I called back today. She was so nice and explained to me that doctor just wanted to tell us that he felt our best chance would be with ivf however he is ok doing as many iui as we want. I than called the business office of the RE office and they ran our insurance and for once in this whole journey we got good news. We have IVF coverage however she couldn't tell me how much we would have out of pocket. Anyone have ideas on this? Sorry Iam sure everyone different just trying to get ideas; DH wants to continue to do iui he doesn't want to move to ivf where I am like let's do what's best success rates. I feel so torn between the two......nurse also said if we want to do iui they starting group jan 10 and next one isn't till feb 22. Huge decision to make and I am looking to you ladies for any suggestions...thoughts...... thank you so much! P.S. sorry if this looks weird typing from phone as computer not working right now.

twistsandturnsto2 · November 2012

First off, that's awesome that you have got some coverage should you need it. But you need to call your insurance and find out exactly how it works- lifetime max, number of cycles, yearly max all could be options.

After that, you can look at your financials, see what kind of fee schedule your RE has, if any, and figure out how much you will be OOP.

Most importantly, you and your DH need to be on the same page. If he is not comfortable moving on to IVF yet, then you need to talk it over and decide what to do until then. More IUI's might work. At least if you did one or two more he might begin to warm up to the idea of IVF. This would also give you time to figure everything out as far as how you were going to pay for IVF. With all the time, money, and emotional and physical stress created by IVF, I wouldn't move on to it if one partner was uneasy about.

JMHO.

jschwind22 · November 2012

Ugh what a dilemma! You've got email

htn1763 · November 2012

I would definitely want to know what "ivf coverage" is before I made a decision. We have coverage but have a lifetime max of 10k.

If it was completely covered, personally I would do 3 IUIs first. They are a lot less invasive and "easier". My RE said after 3 the chances go down so that's when I plan on moving on to IVF.

vpine · November 2012

htn1763:
I would definitely want to know what "ivf coverage" is before I made a decision. We have coverage but have a lifetime max of 10k.
If it was completely covered, personally I would do 3 IUIs first. They are a lot less invasive and "easier". My RE said after 3 the chances go down so that's when I plan on moving on to IVF.

This is me too - except Dr said the best chances are the 1st two IUI....

NBA0703 · November 2012

That is awesome that you have IVF coverage!! Aghh I wish we all could!!! Like PP said I would definately see how much before moving on! I know that people say that usually after 3 attempts at IUI then you should move on. I got pregnant on my 4th!!!! We did miscarry : ( But my doctor wants us to try a couple more rounds of IUI with Bravelle because it worked. I would sit down and talk with your husband!! If he isn't ready for IVF I would try a couple more that way he will have more time to think about it!!

Ruger04 · November 2012

IF is so stressful to begin with that I wouldn't move on with out DH being completely on board. I know you heart says just move on and go straight to IVF. February seems forever and a day away it would be here before you know it, and you would have more time to check in to all the things PP said about insurance. GL

deelopi9 · November 2012

I'm sorry for your BFN. I would get all of the paperwork and financials before you sit down and have a serious conversation with DH. Ask him what are his hesitations with IVF? This is certainly a huge decision and you both need to be on the same page.

RoadToFertility · November 2012

I would definitely call the insurance company and find out exactly how much coverage you have. Hopefully they cover everything (FX for you!) I am sure it is a difficult decision to decide between pursuing another IUI and going through IVF, however in my opinion if that is your doctor's recommendation and if you have the coverage for it I would definitely go in that direction.

I know that my insurance company will allow us to do four rounds of IVF in our lifetime. So far we have used one round that resulted in a chemical pregnancy. According to my RE's office, my insurance allows for unlimited FET. If they did not cover it we were prepared to cover it out of pocket. The financial aspect of everything plays a HUGE part in the decision making process so I would start with my insurance company before and that will aid you in making your decision. Good luck!

sheetskr · November 2012

Since your DH's SA looks good and insurance will offer some help with IVF, I'd be all over IVF. I just don't see the benefit of IUI when sperm are healthy. I've done one so far and am only giving it one more time before moving to IVF and that's without insurance coverage. You've been at this awhile, and you deserve this!

MrsSmith414 · November 2012

I would def call your insurance co and find out exactly how much you will be paying OOP. IUIs are a great way but they don't always work. I would go only, take a look at the success rates or ask your RE and go from there.

I would def talk to your hubby though sounds like he is having a rough time with all this and don't forget that men digest all of this differently than women. My DH has always been a wonderful money manager, so he would go directly to the funds first its just the way it works but he is prob upset too! Make sure you talk to him get on the same page! Good luck!

brookelynpaisley · November 2012

IntuitiveBlue:
FWIW, I don't know how you keep going. I've only been trying for 13 months and I already feel like IF is taking over my life. If I had been trying as long as you have, I would want to move on to IVF too if my doc said that was my best chance.
I hope you get good news as to how much of the treatment your insurance covers, and that you and your husband can come to an agreement as to how to proceed. My T&P are with you. Good luck!

That's kind of a d!ck thing to say, quite honestly, IMO. You keep going because that's what you have to do - whether it be moving forward to have a baby or making another plan. You don't get to just throw your hands up and quit. And IVF is a huge decision, even when there is coverage, so it's not as easy as just saying "I'd be doing it if that's what my doc recommends."

OP, I would definitely call your insurance provider and find out exactly what their IVF coverage is. It could be a dollar amount, a number of cycles, drugs included, drugs excluded, etc. There's no way we could possibly tell you what your coverage is.

emtbd26 · November 2012

Thank you ladies so much for your advice......I have called insurance company and left message to go thru everything step by step for coverage! DH and I have decided to talk this thru more over the weekend and really try to help support each other and weigh our pro and cons of both. I will of course keep everyone updated. And to answer question that was posted I have thought a lot about giving up but what keeps me going is hoping and praying God has a plan for me.

Millie1984 · December 2012

emtbd26:
Thank you ladies so much for your advice......I have called insurance company and left message to go thru everything step by step for coverage! DH and I have decided to talk this thru more over the weekend and really try to help support each other and weigh our pro and cons of both. I will of course keep everyone updated. And to answer question that was posted I have thought a lot about giving up but what keeps me going is hoping and praying God has a plan for me.

FX that your insurance coverage for IVF is good, and good luck talking things through with DH. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction!

Its a big decision, I'll be thinking of you... (((HUGS)))

jschwind22 · December 2012

brookelynpaisley:
IntuitiveBlue:

FWIW, I don't know how you keep going. I've only been trying for 13 months and I already feel like IF is taking over my life. If I had been trying as long as you have, I would want to move on to IVF too if my doc said that was my best chance.

I hope you get good news as to how much of the treatment your insurance covers, and that you and your husband can come to an agreement as to how to proceed. My T&P are with you. Good luck!

That's kind of a d!ck thing to say, quite honestly, IMO. You keep going because that's what you have to do - whether it be moving forward to have a baby or making another plan. You don't get to just throw your hands up and quit. And IVF is a huge decision, even when there is coverage, so it's not as easy as just saying "I'd be doing it if that's what my doc recommends."

OP, I would definitely call your insurance provider and find out exactly what their IVF coverage is. It could be a dollar amount, a number of cycles, drugs included, drugs excluded, etc. There's no way we could possibly tell you what your coverage is.

I agree with BP here. Moving to IVF is a huge decision, for both emotions and finances. It brings up all kinds of dilemma's you wouldn't ever imagine having to think about (will you freeze embryos? what happens to any frozen embryo's if one or both of you die?). Every day and every shot can be an emotional rollercoaster. IMO, it's not a flippant, just do it because someone tells me to, kind of decision.

update and huge decision

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