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February 2012 Moms
cs1225
member
WWYD? - Daycare issue (long)
cs1225
member
H and I are completely not on the same page with this and I want to see what you all think. I will try not to let my feelings show so you give me an honest opinion.
I will start out by saying that we love our daycare providers. It is two women who work out of one of their homes. We have been going through them since Brynn was 12 weeks old. We love them, the girls love them and the women love our girls.
Today, H tells me that they told him that CPS was called on them. Apparently one of the little boys got something stuck in one of the girls' hair and then tried to get it out. In the process, he pulled out some of her hair. Our provider said she was standing right there but it happened so fast that she couldn't stop it. It must have been a substantial amount of hair because the girl's parents called CPS. This little girl is 3 and has been going to the same place since she was a baby, so I feel like they like it there too and think that it must have been substantial for them to go to that length. I don't know the parents personally, but have run into both the moms on different occassions. One of the moms is very high strung and over reacts a little to the little girl, so I'm wondering if this happened this time.
CPS was called in and talked to Brynn (without my knowledge, which kind of bothers me, but that is another issue). I talked to Brynn about it today when we got home and she said that the little girl never even cried but was missing a chunk of hair. We talked about the little boy, who Brynn really likes and we talked about the daycare ladies too. I asked her all kinds of questions - was she scared, is anyone ever mean to her, etc. and she answered them all in a way that shows me that she loves it there.
H and I disagree. One of us thinks this is no big deal, the other is ready to pull the girls out. This little girl is seriously Brynn's BFF there and I know she will be sad that she isn't going anymore. We were only planning on going to them until the end of this school year. When we moved here, we are 1 mile from school, but have to drive 30 minutes to get them there. We didn't want to pull Brynn out in this crazy year - new sister, new home, etc. so the drive was worth it for us. Once she starts kindergarten next year, we will move Paige to something closer. Is it worth pulling Brynn out and putting her somewhere new for a few months? Paige is full time and Brynn is only part time (preschool 2 days/week).
WWYD?
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Re: WWYD? - Daycare issue (long)
Going strictly on how you described the situation, I'd leave them. It sounds like the mom may have overreacted a little bit.
ETA:and I agree with bears...if you don't trust them though, I'm sure it'll be very hard for you to leave the girls there for one day, let alone a couple of months.
I agree with Bears.
I used to work for CPS and as you are describing it, I wouldn't be very concerned and wouldn't pull my child out. Sounds like the mom over-reacted to me. Some people freak over every tiny little thing and anyone can call CPS for any reason and they will take the case. CPS didn't need parent permission to talk to kids in the state I worked, regardless of age.
Is it possible for me to get their findings? Apparently Brynn was the only 'witness' as all the other kids there that day were too young to answer questions. I'm curious what they find.
I have similar sentiments. Just from this incident alone, I would keep her there. It sounds like it was not intentional on the boy's part and it happened too quickly for anyone to stop it from happening. Although it must be somewhat traumatic for the girl's parents to see her missing a clump of hair, I think calling the "authorities" might be a tad too much.
However, if anything Brynn said gives you any doubt about your DCP, then it's time to take her out.
BFP #3 - 05.20.11, EDD - 01.31.12, Logan is here! 02.05.12
BFP #2 - 03.16.11, M/C 03.24.11
BFP #1 - 10.17.10, Blighted Ovum dx, M/C 01.09.11
I'm not sure. I would call your local CPS. It would be helpful if you got the worker's name that talked to DD before you call. Daycares were "Institutional" reports and were handled by a specialized unit where I was and I wasn't trained on their protocol. Also, each state is slightly different. I worked with individual families and if your name was not on the report itself, we couldn't give you any info.
Another tidbit about CPS... if someone calls and reports an issue, they HAVE to investigate -- no matter how ridiculous or irrational the claim is (not saying this claim is ridiculous, but just in general). So the fact that CPS investigated doesn't necessarily say anything about your DCP.
But! My answer to your query is... it depends. What is making one of you really want to pull the girls out? Is it just the fact that CPS is investigating an incident, or were there underlying feelings of mistrust prior to this incident?
As you've described the situation, without any prior icky feelings, I wouldn't be inclined to switch.
This was true in my state. I once had to investigate a family because the mom "yelled and made the kid cry". For real.
Thank you everyone. H is the one that wants to take them out. He is convinced there is something else going on that caused this family to call CPS. He felt that was a pretty big step on their part. I just think the moms are a little overbearing.
ETA: I'm usually the over reactor, so I felt like maybe I was wrong here! H is usually so calm and level headed.
My aunt (a very capable and loving mother of two boys that are now very kind, intelligent, successful young men) was reported by a stranger about 15 years ago. The reason? She left the boys in the car... while she walked 50 feet to drop a DVD into the Blockbuster return slot. We're talking less than 30 seconds of the boys "left" securely buckled into a locked, appropriately-cooled, and non-running vehicle. CPS still had to investigate. Talk about a waste of state-funded agency dollars.
I can't imagine leaving my child in a daycare that my DH was so adamantly against, or vice versa. I might put up more of a fight about it expect for the fact that you're going to pull them soon anyway.
I completely agree with your instincts here. If your H doesn't think moms can be that irrational have him spend some time on the bump, especially first tri ;