July 2013 Moms

this thread scares me...

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70232524.aspx

Hopefully I made that clickable.

I don't understand new moms don't have 30 minutes for themselves? Or is that an exaggeration? Babies do sleep! I know I have alot to learn and don't have much experience with babies... I just can't imagine not having 30 minutes for myself a day, I guess I am in for alot of change!

Re: this thread scares me...

  • Back in those days I had very, very, very little time to myself. I had to arrange my schedule and get up early so I could shower before DH went to work. It is not like that now, but it was then.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers




  • That does sound crazy and scary...but since I don't have kids yet, I agree that I think we're in for a surprise. 
    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

    image

  • Loading the player...
  • In those 30 min when DS would sleep at that age, I would usually be doing something like dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. DS wanted to be held constantly at that age, so if I was able to have 30 min, I needed to get something done that I couldn't while holding him.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • it is stressful you adapt though.

     

  • It's really not that much of an exaggeration. When they sleep you either sleep or do other stuff that need to get done. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, bathrooms, sweeping, etc. The moments where I felt like I had my me time was when she was attached to the boob and I was in front of the tv or had a book.

    It also depends on how helpful your DH is and whether or not you are a SAHM. I was back to work at 7 weeks PP. So throw 10 hours a day away that you would have to clean, cook, nap, etc.

    It's hard but worth it and it gets easier as they get older. In some ways. In other ways it gets way harder. The newborn stage is very hard. Hell, every stage is hard. But worth it.



    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers

    I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017

    Meimsx no more
  • In the beginning it is like that, at least if you are smart and sleep when the baby sleeps but it gets better or none of us would do this again!
    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
    image






  • They obviously have time to bump....

    TTC since Feb 2012. Me: 39, DH: 37
    BFP #1 5/27/12- m/c 7/9/12 @ 10w2d (cytotec induced @11w).
    Fibroids, Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism
    BFP #2 11/18/12  EDD 7/27/13
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • The early days suck. I am not going to sugar coat it for you. But I can tell you my life has a lot of free time. Especially after 8:00. It's gets much better when they start to sleep. 
  • I should also say that until very very recently I would cry out for me time to DH. We would have fights because the strain built up in me so much. There were times I just couldn't take it and I broke down and sobbed because I didn't have time to myself. You CRAVE alone time. Even the boob time starts to get to you because even though they are easy at that moment the fact that you HAVE to do what you are doing is hard.

    Go on dates. Get a sitter. You aren't a bad mom for leaving your two month old for a few hours with a sitter. Ask for your alone time. It saves your sanity.



    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers

    I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017

    Meimsx no more
  • imagebabystoli:

    They obviously have time to bump....

    Yeah because it's so hard to type when you have a baby on your boob. Confused



    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers

    I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017

    Meimsx no more
  • imagebabystoli:
    They obviously have time to bump....


    Yes, but especially if you are nursing, you have a lot of time attached to a baby. Bumping or reading on my phone was a lifesaver.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Its really hard to find time for yourself in the beginning. I hate to say it but you don't understand it until you are experiencing it. There were some days that just showering, going to the restroom and finding time to feed myself were accomplishments. 

    Your baby is constantly nursing, pooping and peeing (think 10-14 wets/dirties diapers a day or more depending on the baby). Its a gauntlet.  


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

  • imageAllMyDucksInARow:
    imagebabystoli:
    They obviously have time to bump....
    Yes, but especially if you are nursing, you have a lot of time attached to a baby. Bumping or reading on my phone was a lifesaver.

    Yes . I'm LOL. Couldn't bumping be seen as "taking some time" for yourself anyway? Or are new moms not allowed entertainment at all? 


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

  • It IS hard in the beginning. You go from pretty much being able to do what you want, when you want, to all of a sudden having this itty bitty crying thing that relies on you and becomes your first priority. My experience was that it got better pretty quickly. You find your groove and it becomes a little easier. DS loved being in the Moby, so I'd pack him in there and walk around Target or by the water near our house. Honestly, though hard, you'll look back and be so thankful for that "not alone" time...cherish it because they grow so darn fast.
    image



  • I remember feeling that way. You have a little person stuck to you 24/7, especially if you BF. My DD also cried whenever I set her down (and I know some readers are probably side-eying that, but letting your newborn wail is a lot easier said than done when you know if you just hold/rock them they will stop.)

    But I adjusted in time and learned to do things like wear the baby in a front pack so I could tidy up the house or get myself lunch going. If you're lucky your baby will nap easily in a bassinet/crib and for a few hours at a time.  But not all do, and of course you're wanting/needing to catch up on sleep when baby does since you're up all.dang.night. breastfeeding, changing diapers, and rocking baby to sleep the first few months.

    Phew! Can you tell I'm not super excited for the newborn thing again? It does go by fast, though! And I highly recommend getting out of the house alone at least once a week for a few hours. And walks with baby out in the fresh air are great for your sanity.  I'm excited to have a summer baby so we can get out of the house easily.

    DD1: Maya 05/10
    DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13
  • It's hard in the beginning! Especially if you have a high maintenance baby like I did.  My son would literally cry all day and wasn't much of a sleeper during the day either. I had to shower with him in his bouncer on the bathroom floor.  But after the first three months it got a lot easier.  He would go to bed early and that was also helpful in giving me a chance to "regroup".

    photo 3dcc1df8-8755-401b-b56e-15712e9fb0c0_zps92b14273.jpg
    Matteo 08/02/2011 Cruz 06/19/2013

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • When baby sleeps in the early days YOU sleep too. Eventually that shifts to housework when baby is asleep. I can't even pee by myself without my son barging in or banging in the door.

    It's part of parenthood and you will adapt. It's not like you won't want to be around your child so its not hard to get used to.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagemeimsx:
    imagebabystoli:

    They obviously have time to bump....

    Yeah because it's so hard to type when you have a baby on your boob. Confused

    This.  LOL !

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers




  • imagePrimRoseMama:

    imageAllMyDucksInARow:
    imagebabystoli:
    They obviously have time to bump....
    Yes, but especially if you are nursing, you have a lot of time attached to a baby. Bumping or reading on my phone was a lifesaver.

    Yes . I'm LOL. Couldn't bumping be seen as "taking some time" for yourself anyway? Or are new moms not allowed entertainment at all? 

    I think the OP on 0-3 was considering time ALONE which I am pretty sure I never was for about the first 6 months. Then it got a lot easier to take time alone.

    And I would not trade those months for anything...but it was hard and I never was alone.  

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers




  • Hmm..pretty scary considering I feel that way right now, without kids. What did I get myself into??
    AnniversaryBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    View Full Size Image


     
  • you'll adjust, it'll be a new normal. Even now i find myself feeling kind of strange and liberated if i go shopping for an hour alone. I'm just used to a little sidekick!
    photo image_zps90e45ea2.jpg
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • imagejust13nat:
    In those 30 min when DS would sleep at that age, I would usually be doing something like dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. DS wanted to be held constantly at that age, so if I was able to have 30 min, I needed to get something done that I couldn't while holding him.


    This. It's not that they don't give you 30 minutes, it's that you have to fill it doing things like cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc! I now have a 6 yr old and 5 yr old and it's much better but now I also have other things to fill the gaps, like homework, extra curricular s, etc. but it's so totally worth it we are starting over with baby number 3!!
  • C
    imagebabystoli:

    They obviously have time to bump....

    When your breast feeding there's nothing else to do!   I had a high-maintenance baby that wanted me to hold him 24/7 so I really enjoyed nursing because I got a break.  

  • Yeah you're in for a rude awakening! The times the baby is asleep is the time you're having to cook, clean, do laundry ect... I would have been lucky to get 30 mins every 2 days! DH is better at helping now so hopefully it will go more smoothly this time!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Lol....it's really tough at first with a newborn. You have to adjust to someone's else's schedule and when they are awake they have your sole attention. When they sleep you have to do other things like laundry, dishes, meals, etc. You really don't have a lot of time those first few months. I was lucky if I showered most days for about the first two months. Eventually you get in a groove though and figure things out.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP #1 5/07/11, DS 01/19/12
    BFP #2 08/09/12, M/C 08/10/12
    BFP #3 10/30/12, EDD 07/11/12...please stick!
  • imagebabystoli:

    They obviously have time to bump....

     

    You get bored while feeding and if you do have a high maintenance baby you spend a lot of time just holding and rocking.


    BabyFruit Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP #1 5/07/11, DS 01/19/12
    BFP #2 08/09/12, M/C 08/10/12
    BFP #3 10/30/12, EDD 07/11/12...please stick!
  • imageluckylindy:
    Lol....it's really tough at first with a newborn. You have to adjust to someone's else's schedule and when they are awake they have your sole attention. When they sleep you have to do other things like laundry, dishes, meals, etc. You really don't have a lot of time those first few months. I was lucky if I showered most days for about the first two months. Eventually you get in a groove though and figure things out.

     

    This.  I had a really tough time adjusting at first and I had some baby blues for the first month or so.  Suddenly this little person was attached to me 24/7 and I was pretty bitter that DH could go to work and do simple things by himself...like shower and pee without feeling super stressed about LO needing something all the time.  But after LO gets into a schedule, you start to adjust to this total life change.  Now I love it and can't wait for this next little girl or boy to join our family.  Also DH is more confident in his ability as a daddy, which I think helps since he's more willing to take an active role. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Sounds pretty accurate.  When I had my first, he cried the first 12 weeks of his life unless he was nursing or I was wearing him. For the 1st 6 months he would only nap while I nursed him.  I was wiped out.  I was so amazed how much more time I had to myself when my 2nd was born because she was so laid back and at that point my older baby was taking a 3 hour nap in the middle of the day. 

     

    One of the things I realized pretty early on was that I needed me time fairly regularly.  I take "time off" about once every other week. DH is amazing about it and knows I am a better mom for it.  Early on with each baby the time off was short because of nursing, but now I can take off for a few hours (occasionally a whole day) and just enjoy myself.

    BFP #1 10/13/09 EDD 06/20/10 DS Born on 06/26/10
    BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
    BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
    BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
    BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14
    BFP #6 01/11/15 EDD 09/22/15 M/C 03/09/15
  • imageallyxo:

    https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70232524.aspx

    Hopefully I made that clickable.

    I don't understand new moms don't have 30 minutes for themselves? Or is that an exaggeration? Babies do sleep! I know I have alot to learn and don't have much experience with babies... I just can't imagine not having 30 minutes for myself a day, I guess I am in for alot of change!

    It depends on the baby - if you have a colicky, fussy, high needs baby then yes- you don't have time for yourself.

    If you have a low maintenance, issue free baby (Rare) then you have time. My son takes up more of my time now as a toddler then he did as an infant, but I realize I was one of the more lucky ones.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagebabystoli:

    They obviously have time to bump....

    lol, so true

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I am convinced that the reason we are insomniacs during pregnancy is to prepare our bodies for the sleep deprivation required during the newborn stage. I never thought that I could function on such little sleep, but there is just something biological and instinctive that takes over. And, it is a finite period of time. As a first time mom, I can understand why that thread would scare you, but it is realistic, you *will* get through it, and perhaps even opt to do it to yourself all over again with more than one child. :)   
    Monique (38), Wife to Steve (32), Mom to DS Sacha (4), DS Ronen due Aug. 1st! BabyFetus Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"