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VBAC
OceanBreeze1
member
Can't decide to TTC #2 because of first c/s. VBAC hope? (VERY long)
OceanBreeze1
member
in VBAC
Hi ladies! 
I have a 17-month-old daughter and having trouble deciding if I want to TTC #2 (DH is ready) -- partly because I can't let go of wondering why I had a C/S. By that I mean I feel like I could've done something differently, just not sure what.
I'm hoping you can offer any tips/support that can give me hope for a VBAC. 
Here's my whole story, so you can suggest things to do differently next time.
After dealing with IF, my pregnancy was smooth and uneventful (unless you count horribly painful carpal tunnel syndrome, ugh!). Did prenatal yoga a tad & visited my chiro once a week. Although my labor wasn't scary, it was a long process.
At my 40w2d appointment (Tuesday), I was 0% effaced and 0 cm. Although I'm anti-meds, etc., my ob & I decided to schedule an induction for that Saturday (being a weekend and all to take advantage of DH's time off). I was not happy, had been taking EPO, walking, etc. and nothing was going on. And previous estimates had put baby weighing at minimum 8lbs. by now, with a "big" head.
But, at around 11:30 p.m. Wednesday night my water broke! Yay!
At the hospital I was barely at 1cm & barely 50% effaced. Checked in & walked the halls. And I walked. And I walked. Contractions were 3 min apart & over a minute long.
I tried to get on all fours, but the carpal tunnel meant I couldn't put any pressure on my wrists, so that was out. Squatting was painful since I was having a lot of back labor, and the thought of getting in the shower made me cringe. So I sat and walked.
By 3 p.m. on Thursday, I was 100% & nearly 4 cm, exhausted & hungry. By 5 p.m., the doctor (not mine yet) suggested trying to open my cervix and suggested that I might want the epidural for that. I agreed to both, thinking that maybe the epi (after nearly 18 hours of labor) would help relax my body.
The epi slowed my contractions, so I agreed to pitocin. By 9 p.m. I was barely at 5 cm so my doctor brought up the "C" word -- saying just that we may have to think about it. Then I started getting a fever, & baby's hb got a bit slower, so I got antibiotics & something else (magnesium? It's a bit foggy).
I agreed to the c-section, with no pressure, because I felt in my heart that it wasn't happening, plus I was nearing the 24-hour mark after my water broke. And I had to press the epi button twice because I had to keep breathing through contractions again.
Went into surgery around 11:30 p.m. Thursday night. While testing to see if I was numb, I said I could feel pressure pinch but no pain --- then I felt like someone digging in their sharp fingernail. So they put me under.
My daughter was born just after 12:30 a.m. on Friday.
I hate that I didn't get to be awake for my daughter's birth, and I especially hate the s/e from the drugs. Back at my room I declined additional pain meds, only taking some Motrin from then on. Recovery was fine, no issue once the drugs got out of my system.
My official prognosis was malpositioned & FTP (yeah, yelled at my chiro for that). I should add that I had previous cervical surgery so I think I had scarring which contributed to my IF dx & FTP.
My doctor said I would probably be a candidate for VBAC (& favors it), and said she couldn't give me a reason for why it came down to a C/S as far as anything else I could've done. I feel differently -- even though I do not question my decision for the C/S, I feel like I didn't do enough.
If you read this, thank you so very much. I needed to get it out to people who understand, since I over-analyze. I would greatly appreciate any tips to help me think a VBAC would be successful.
ETA: DD was 9lbs, 5oz, and her head was 15cm. The doctor who tried to open my cervix said, "Baby have big head, that why not coming out." I laughed at the time.
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Re: Can't decide to TTC #2 because of first c/s. VBAC hope? (VERY long)
I had the same concerns. For a long time, I was asking DH what country he wanted to adopt from. But, eventually, I realized I wanted another baby - regardless of how he/she got here. If I absolutely had to have another c-section to have another baby, then that's what we would do.
In terms of your experience, I have to say that each birth is different. My first was a 60 hour induction that ended as an FTP, because I couldn't push her out. My second was a super fast 9 hour induction where I pushed her out in 45 minutes. She was also a full pound lighter than my first.
I agree with pp, the most important thing is to find a really supportive provider. Then, I worked on all the things I could do to get a VBAC.
I wouldn't say that my c/s made me hesitant to have another baby, but thinking about the delivery made me very anxious. My formerly VBAC positive OB became very negative about my chances once I actually got PG and so I looked around and switched to a Mid wife practice that does VBACS. I made the switch at 24 weeks so it is definately something you can do even once you are PG. I knew I always wanted at least 2 kids and as much as I don't want another c/s, I know the most important thing is that she gets here safely and is healthy.
Wow, I need to apologize -- I remember replying to your responses on my phone, not sure where they went.
But thank you so very much for your thoughts. I will definitely discuss things thoroughly with my OB...after arming myself with info. I'm sure I'll be back.
Thank you!