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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
tmwishful
member
told DD there's no such thing as Santa
tmwishful
member
Ok she's 16m old and doesn't understand, but DH and I decided we're not going to bribe her with gifts for the month of Dec. in order to get her to be "good". As Christians, we feel she should know about God and the whole point of the holiday, not being about getting gifts and food and shopping for a whole month, so we're not doing it. Am I the only one? Anyone else out there?
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Re: told DD there's no such thing as Santa
We focus on the Christian aspect more, but we also do Santa. I have no problem with the fun he brings.
I however don't use it as bribery tool (Santa won't come if you're not good!). We explain the concept, take her to see him, do some fun stuff and tell her he brings presents, but we don't focus on the good vs. bad part.
Christmas is a big deal for us though. We don't do anything gift wise the rest of the year really..so it all balances.
I suppose I should give the disclaimer that I'm not exactly Christian but this doesn't make any sense to me. If you're trying to teach your child about Christianity, it should be engrained in her throughout the whole year--not just at Christmas time for one day which signifies the birth of Christ. If you're doing a good job at that, the magic of Santa/presents shouldn't take away the teachings of Christ.
I'm with you on the idea you shouldn't use Santa as a bribe to get children to behave for one month of the year--I just don't get how you can't celebrate both the secular and non-secular aspects of the holiday together. It can have the magic of Christmas/Santa with still keeping Jesus/family as the main focus. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
We're Christians, very active in our church, and the main focus of Christmas for us is Christ's birth. But that doesn't mean we can't do Santa. We haven't really made a big deal out of it and have not at all introduced the "naught or nice" side of it. Most of their gifts will be from mom and dad, with a stocking and a few other things from Santa. But I have no problem taking them to see Santa or writing letters to Santa, and just letting them have some of those magical childhood memories.
DD1 Feb 2010
DD2 Sept 2011
I consider myself very religious and absolutely want my kids to know the importance of Christmas, but I LOVE Santa.
Kids are kids for such a short, short amount of time. They have their whole life to be a grown up and "not believe" so I want to make the most out of this special time in their lives.
I guess I'm in the camp that you can have both, the fun of Santa and the knowledge/recognition of Jesus.
While we will do both (Jesus and Santa), every one gets to make their own decisions in life.
I am more confused about the fact you told you 16 month old. Literally spoke to her and converyed that Santa doesn't exist? Does she have any concept whatsoever about "bribery" or the fantasy of Santa. I am pretty sure my 21 month old would not have a clue if I mentioned that.
If LO was older and you wanted to go that route, then it would make more sense to me.
Don't blame it on jesus then. Also, there's a huge difference between 16 months and 4th grade. You can find a middle ground. And, you were seriously scarred by finding out there's no Santa? Major side eye.
Sorry. This is the funniest thread ever to me. I love Santa and for some reason I don't think a 2 year old is going to see the magic of christmas through Jesus' birth. Sorry to be a skeptic but seriously? All good with teaching your child to be a good Christian and explaining the meaning of Christmas.
To me, there is nothing at all like watching your child wake up (when they start understanding) and realize Santa came. It is pure joy. I almost cried when I watched her right before she was 3- the excitement, the wonder....
Wait until your 3 year old is having tantrums and what you resort to
Yes, I threaten Santa, candy, parties, tv, etc. Somehow the be a good girl thing doesn't always have the same power at 3.
Good luck.
Agree with this and the others. I think it's sad that your kid will be deprived of Santa and the magic of believing in the fun of it all.
I totally agree with KC.
I think just because your parents took that magical experience of Santa from you does not mean you should not let your LO experience it.
Yes maybe Santa is fictional but isn't Elmo, Mickey, or any other character. Do we take them away from our children too? Ya I don't think so.
At 16 months I guarantee your LO has no clue what Santa means...or what it means to be a Christian (and I too am Christian). No need to even have the conversation at this point, and not sure why you are making a big deal about it at this point.
We are not big gift givers, and LO will get 1 to 2 gifts max...with tons of boxes and wrapping paper to play with since that is his preferences.
We're doing Santa this way: He exists and is magical and wonderful (because even now the memories of Santa make me so happy I could cry). BUT... The holiday is about God and Jesus, and Jesus is even more amazing than Santa. Santa brings 3 gifts on christmas eve, just like the 3 wise men brought to baby Jesus.
Never are these gifts going to be rewards for good behavior. Discipline and Santa have nothing to do with each other.
But that's just how we're doing it. Follow what you think is best and in your heart.
That's not necessarily true unless you raise your kids to be jerks. I didn't believe in Santa (figured it out really early), and I never spoiled it for my friends. My brother and I kind of played along and my mom always labeled some of the gifts as being from Santa, but we didn't believe it.
OP, we're not doing Santa, but I'm not going to tell DS that he doesn't exist - he has no clue right now. When DS asks, then we'll talk about it. I don't see any reason to start on it before he even cares.
KC isn't a Christian and can see that including Santa in Christmas does not exclude Christ.
If you don't want to do Santa, find don't do it but don't say that you can't do Santa and teach your kid about Jesus' birth.
We have/will throughout the Christmas season set up our small nativity scene and let DD play with it. Sing Christmas carols, some about Christ, some not. We will drink hot beverages and watch wintery movies. We will go to Christmas eve service and participate in the Christmas talent show. We will wake up on Christmas morning and open our stockings(from Santa) while the cinnamon rolls are baking. After breakfast we will read the Christmas story from the Bible and talk about Jesus. Then we will open the rest of our gifts.
Santa is magical and wonderful for children. Jesus is our Savior. We (along with many others) can celebrate both during the Christmas season.
AGREE!
Santa is so much fun! I would be sad for my kid not to have this fun.
Be careful. Wait until she finds out Elmo is not real either. Let kids have fun!
For the record, I bribe all the time! Just now with Santa. It's NMS/I never think of it at the time. My parents never did it either, so I never got the habit I guess. It doesn't bother me that other people do..I have nothing against it.
Also, OP, Santa possibly can't be the only thing your parents lied to you about? What else are you still upset about. I love my parents but they told way worse lies than Santa to us. Time to move on.
While I do believe that this holiday is over commercialized we do let the children believe in Santa. We do have an "elf on the shelf" and it probably does make them behave a little better, but we stress good behavior all year, not just at Christmas. The children only (and I say only because everyone I know thinks I'm being stingy) get three presents a piece and one of those is a "Secret Santa" from one of their brothers or sisters (this is our way of saying the holiday is also about giving), and yes, two of them got one piece of coal in their stockings last year because they did not listen as well as they should have.
I guess I don't see the harm in believing in Santa as long as you set the "limits". Santa isn't what makes Christmas about presents, it's the adults that lead the children in that direction, which was the direction I was lead in, and that is not what I want for my kids.
Its fine not to believe in Santa, but I don't want to be you when your daughter is 3 or 4 and tells her friends there is no Santa.... You might have some upset parents on your hands for a bit.
ETA: I'd like to add that we are christian, and go to church. The kids also know why we have Christmas, and it's about celebrating the birth of Christ. It's possible to have your cake and eat it too here.
I agree with all of this
This sounds more like a personal issue. You had a childhood trauma and are making it your daughter's issue. We are pretty religious in my family. My brother, aunt and uncle are all ministers. We all do Santa and our kids are not bribed. This is not a black or white issue. I encourage you to really examine your motivations here!
I should add that I sincerely hope that you will not have a Christmas tree or give gifts or any of those non-Christian traditions either. Those are pagan ideas and have nothing to do with the birth of Christ. As a matter of fact, just skip Christmas and celebrate in the spring. Everyone knows Christ wasn't actually born in December anyway.
You surely asked them if Santa was real as some point though and they lied to you and told you he was real. It was either that or you had no contact with other kids because other kids will eventually tell you that Santa is not real and they will come to their parents and ask if he is real or not.
We are not religious, but there are several ways of focusing on the less "tangible" aspects of the season. We are doing Santa, but we are not telling him that good behavior = presents. Santa will bring one gift and fill the stocking. Our family focuses on time spent together, not the number of gifts given. We also started involving him our our volunteer work and charitible giving this year. I know he's too young to understand, but I want him to grow up thinking that the season is about giving (to family and friends as well as others - in both time and things), magic, family, friends, being thankful, and everything else that goes with Christmas.
Not christian either, but I agree with all of this.
Oh and by the way, they actually did celebrate the season, just not Santa or the Christmas tree (false idol thing taken a lil too far). They still baked and had small gifts when they could afford it.
Maybe it's because I'm Jewish, but I don't really get why everyone is taking what the OP does so personally. She didn't say that anyone who does it is a terrible heathen, she was just asking if anyone else felt the same way she does. Sounds to me that the Santa thing is fairly debatable. I've sometimes wondered if people who had traumatic "Santa isn't real" experiences would continue the Santa tradition with their own kids or not.
Thanks, Snapdragon. So it's just you and I.
Personally, I am not religious and think Santa is fun so I will not be going this route with DD.
BUT, my mom raised me this way. It really wasn't a big deal it's not like you don't get presents or anything you just know they come from your loving parents instead of a creepy fat guy.
I think it was best said in 1897:
"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?
"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."
VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Santa Claus is a saint, by the way. That's where the tradition came from. He started out as St. Nicholas.
https://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/who-is-st-nicholas/