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Blended Families
+just+j+
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The weight of the world just got lifted.
+just+j+
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He is moving out today. it's been a crazy couple of days getting him packed. My house is a disaster area with boxes and misplaced stuff all over, but we said our goodbyes, and he should be gone now.
Last night and this morning were a little tough, but we agreed that we would leave as friends and work together on raising DD in a positive way.
DD stayed home with him yesterday and I could tell they really bonded. DD knows something is up - as much as an almost three year old can figure. She was happy to see me when I got home, but boy...she wanted nothing to do with me when I got home. She was all daddy's girl. And that was cool with me.
I know H is going to miss her badly. I am not sure when he's going to start his EOW, but says he has to get settled first.
SD called last night and was making plans to come visit him. She's buddy buddy with daddy again. Which I really do wish a good relationship with him, I am just cynical because I know how she is. I caught wind from a mutual friend that she has been saying on her facebook that I am cheating on H. I calmly but very firmly told H she's getting a free pass that she really does not deserve because I am so damn happy to be free of her finally, and I really can't handle one more problem right now, but he needs to tell her to shut the F up and the next time I won't be so kind and she'll be served with papers for slander. I requested that going forward he tell his children when they want to bad mouth me that "J is no longer a part of our lives. Move on and leave her be." I told him, don't do it for me - do it for DD. He said he would.
I blame him. I'm sure this came from him, but she does not need to be talking about it. So I also asked HIM to quit insinuating to anyone else that is why I'm leaving, because I keep hearing it from our mutual friends. It's not true and he needs to think about DD. It is not fair to HER to have people saying her mother is unfaithful when that is NOT the case. I said I've been very respectful in that I am not going around and talking badly about him. I am trying to be as a positive as possible. I said that if the lies continue, I don't want to do it, but I can and will make things very difficult for him.
I really wish he would apologize, but I really think he's got it in his head that the only way I'd leave him is if I found someone else. Whatever. Time to move on. I'll deal with it later if I have to.
The stress is so much less now. I haven't felt this good in so long. I am free of the accusations, the drama, the crap, the fights...I feel like I can now do anything and can live again.
It's a good day.
As for those that say it's going to be a roller coaster - I am sure I will have good and bad days, but honestly, I feel like I just got off the worst roller coaster and I'm on steady ground again.
Onward and upward!
"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The weight of the world just got lifted.
Glad he's out of the house! I hope DD will grow up happy and content with whatever happens with him - whether he chooses to be an active role in her life or not. Unfortunately, I can see him disappearing, but if he does, I hope DD doesn't suffer from it.
Go have some you time, you deserve it!
I had an episode of this last night. It was wierd knowing how quiet my life is going to be. And I got a little scared. I actually questioned if I was doing the right thing, and OMG, what if DD is screwed up by this...and then I had to shut myself up and remind myself this quiet is a good thing and it will take time to getting used to not having chaos, stress and drama.
On the other side of things, I am enjoying my freedom. It is surprising me the things that I would or would not do because I didn't want to a stupid argument to start.
I guess I didn't realize how much emotional and mental control he had over me.
Not any more!!