Really bad separation anxiety :(

Just want to vent and possibly get some advice.  My son was born 6 weeks early, it was the scariest most horrible time of my life.  I felt like I was robbed of the joy of having a baby.  The day my son was born was not a joyous occasion like every other mom I know.  I had an emergency C-section b/c of placenta previa, and after he was born he was rushed to the Childrens Hospital an hour away from my hospital.  I never got to hold him, bond with him, learn how to breastfeed.  It was terrible.  As soon as I was discharged my husband and I went to see him and I spent every one of the 10 days he was in the NICU there with him.  Anywayhe is almost 6 months now but my heart still aches and I still cry.  It breaks my heart that I didn't get to be with my own child for the first 48 hours of his life and that he had strangers taking care of him.  I just can't seem to get past these sad feelings.  And due to being separated from him when he was born (also when he was born, not knowing if he was even going to live), I have extremmmme separation anxiety.  Like I said he is almost 6 months old, and my husband and I still have not had a date night.  Its not that I don't trust anyone to babysit, its just that I am terrified something will happen to him when I'm not there.  My husband will watch him every now and then so I can get out of the house for an hour and even then the whole time i'm out I can't even enjoy it because I am so worried (even though my husband is an amazing dad).  I feel so helpless!  How can I get past this?  I want our life back, I want to be able to go out to dinner with friends, and I don't want to be one of those weirdo parents that never leav their kids