Son keeps getting bitten at DC. WWYD?
virginiagirl11
member
My DS is 19 months old and attends daycare three days a week. He was bitten on the cheek yesterday, which makes it the fourth time he's been bitten at daycare in the last three months or so.
Three of the bites, including yesterday's, have been hard bites. They cause DS to cry, break the skin, leave a bruise, and scab over. Two have been on the cheek and one was on the back of the arm. The fourth was a gentle bite on his wrist and just left a red mark that went away the next day.
Of course, the DC can't tell us who did it. However, according to his teacher, all of the hard bites that break the skin have happened when he was minding his own business and, each time, DS tells us that the same child, "Tara," did it.
Obviously, we don't know if this is true, but he's almost always correct when he talks to us about other things that happen during his day. On other occasions, when we ask him about his friends at school, he tells us what those friends like to do and it often changes from week to week. Yet the only thing he ever says about Tara is, "Tara, bite," and he shakes his head.
Similarly, when he got the gentle bite on his wrist, DS told us the name of a different child, "Ross." In that case, the teacher told us that DS had taken another child's truck, so at least that bite was provoked.
Each time DS gets bitten, the DC writes up an accident report and tells us in person without telling us the name of the child who did it. They also talk to that child's parent. If what DS is telling us is true, it seems like Tara is developing a habit of biting DS without provocation. DS is a pretty amiable child and usually minds his own business. His personality is not at all aggressive.
Would you talk to the director (and what can they do?) or the teacher or would you just chalk it up to the age of the kids? I know this is a prime age for biting but he keeps getting bitten hard for no apparent reason and it's upsetting. 
: sticky baby 4.25.11 : #2 due 5.18.13
Re: Son keeps getting bitten at DC. WWYD?
If it's hard enough to break skin, I think that's a real problem, even if it's age appropriate. If it weren't breaking the skin, I'd be less concerned but child services generally draws the line at leaving a bruise. If Tara is bruising your son, and breaking his skin, on a regular basis, that's crossing a line. If this happened under your care, you'd be considered responsible. Why is DCP off the hook?
OP - I would follow up w/ the teacher or director.
FWIW DD went through a spell where she got bite several times, amazingly when they moved to toddler room (more room, more toys) it got better immediately.
In my experience (and knowledge of past posts) the repeated biter is usually the same kid. I personally would ask the DCP more pointed questions like what they're doing to prevent it (i.e. separation during play time, shadowing), how they are reprimanding the child and lastly, if they've discussed it with the kids parents (w/out knowing who the biter is).
it is a part of life at this age and there isn't anything you can train your LO to do differently, but some kids are chronic biters and the DCP has to be more active in controlling the biter.
Teach him to fight back. My kid is the hitter/biter/pusher and he never gets hurt by other kids.
Honestly, I have no advice. I guess if it was a problem with my child, I'd talk to the director about better supervision in the classroom. We usually have a 1:4 ratio and in 6 months, my son has been bitten only once.
My kid was the bit-ee as well. I remember thinking I was sending him into 'war' or something during that time, lol.
It far more traumatic for you, the mom, that it is for your LO. I assure you. It is a phase, it will pass and believe it or not, you will forget about it.
I only remember when I read posts like this. DS1 of course has zero recollection of anything.
Yes but read back to my post about the frequency. A few times in several months really, truly, falls within the realm of normal. What's not normal? My son who was bitten 6 times in two weeks. Bad, full mouth print bites that I found MYSELF at the end of the day and the teachers claimed they didn't know about. In a room of 5 kids when I knew my kid cried if he bumped his head, I knew they weren't watching/checking closely enough. THAT is an issue.
Good Luck on that one, the child is 1. Sometime I feel like Poster on these boards treat other children(not their own) like criminals.