Does anyone else look for signs? — The Bump
Adoption

Does anyone else look for signs?

My DH and I are currently trying to decide between international and adoption from foster care.  Today I went to the library and there was a table with two ladies and a sign that said "Adoption Unit" and I could see flyers from our county. 

I immediately thought "Oh, it's a sign!" and scooted over.  I introduced myself and explained I'd called a few months ago.  They were very nice but just said "Oh hi, well we don't have a date yet for January classes.  You can take a candy cane or a (paper) door hanger to remind you!" 

Lol, it was so funny, I think I was expecting an "a-ha!  THIS is our path in life!" but instead it was just a nice opportunity to say hi.  Anyone else looking for signs anywhere and everywhere about adoption?


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Re: Does anyone else look for signs?

  • I totally believe in signs. We had many of them throughout our journey to our DD and I held on tightly to each and every one of them. It helped give us some peace that we were on the right path and that everything would work out in the end. And it did!

    TTC since March 2010, BFP #1 11.09.10, ectopic, m/c 12.14.10 (10w)
    Clomid + TI=BFN, IUIs 1-6= BFN
    Application for domestic adoption submitted 4/18/12, matched 8/12/12, DD born 10/31/12


     

  • I wouldn't say I looked for a sign, but certainly got one.  When we knew our fertility coverage was gone, I didn' know if we wanted to just try on our own indefinately, adoption or being child-free.  DH, for once, was all giddy-up and go about something, and it was looking into adoption.  We went to the informational, introductory meeting at our agency and I actually walked out about ready to fall apart.  We stopped by Wal-mart on the way home, and I stayed in the car to call my mom, and cried to her about how upset I was.  I asked my mom why God would make me want children so bad if I wasn't suppose to have them and she told me "Maybe you are, but they are going to come to you in non-conventional ways, and you needed to get that desire to want them that bad"  And all of the sudden I was totally at peace with our decisioin.  It was seriously like a calm came over me, and that night I had my ever constant "baby-dreams" and it just felt right.

    TTC since June 2009 DX: PCOS October 2010
    6 medicated cycles, 2 pregnancies, 1 ectopic April 2011, Early Miscarriage August 2011
    7 more cycles, 1 IUI, No success after last pregnancy
    7/1/2012 No more fertility coverage
    8/17/2012 started pursuing domestic infant adoption!
    11/26/2012 HOME STUDY APPROVED!!!
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    When relaxing didn't work is my new blog!
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  • image raecheleblue1:
    I totally believe in signs. We had many of them throughout our journey to our DD and I held on tightly to each and every one of them. It helped give us some peace that we were on the right path and that everything would work out in the end. And it did!

    Looking for signs is a double-edged sword for me.  I wouldn't say that I look for signs anywhere and everywhere.... Because I don't want to lead myself astray.  But I yearn for confirmations for the exact same reason as the bolded statement.  It would give a little peace that I'm following the path that God has for me.

    I know that we'll face trials and have to put forth effort on our side too.  But, with a lack of further positive confirmation, I often wonder if the struggles we face are confirmations that this isn't the path for us.

    We both felt like we were being pointed to adoption in the beginning.... But, now, radio silence... other than my perception of the struggles.

    So... double-edged sword.  Smile 

    Me: 32, DH: 45... TTC #1 since May 2010
    July - Nov 2011: Testing with OB... OB said everything looks good
    March - Sept 2012: Moved to RE.. 4 treatment cycles - responses of one or no follicles
    09.03.12: Diagnosed Poor Ovarian Response.. DE IVF only option
    Feb - Nov 2012: Pursued Adoption. That door slammed shut.
    12.23.12: Surprise BFP (first ever)... 12.25 - 12.31: Natural M/C
  • I didn't look for signs, and even dismissed the first few my husband recognized, but in the end, the culmination of all the signs we received was so clear and there was no debating that we were led directly to both our boys.

  • I looked for signs but in terms of confirmation rather than abstract signs.  For example, a friend of mine was dating a guy a few years ago and she asked God for a sign that this guy would be her husband.  She said she heard God tell her daisies would be the sign and for weeks after that she saw daisies everywhere. Her mom brought them home, she met a dog named daisy, she stopped for gas near a "Daisy convenience store" etc etc.  She is now married to a different man.  Obviously she was seeing signs where they were not. That is not the kind of sign I look for. 

    For me, signs were about confirmation like talking to others who had gone through adoption and attending adoption seminars.  When those things confirmed my desire to adopt I took those as signs pointing me in the right direction.  My ultimate sign was praying for guidance and a few minutes later hearing a radio broadcast one afternoon about an adoption advocacy group that led me to my son's picture that very night! Now he's sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a snack.  Crazy.  How's that for a sign?!?!  :-)

    TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
    SA February 2011: Normal
    RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI

    Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption

    Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
    Court trip October 2012
    Home November 24 2012!

    Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues: 

    Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count 
    Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???

    Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013

    Adding a Burden
  • I definitely believe in signs. So far all signs are pointing in one direction which is totally different than our first plan for adoption.  So we are following those signs until we hit a dead end or a curve in the road!  What an adventure life can be.  Best of luck to you!

     

     

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  • I don't generally look for signs per se, but just feel things out, if that makes any sense. However, on our adoption journey there has been sign, after sign, after sign, leading us to where we are today. And when we were in the midst of our "do we take the leap?" decisions we had 3 big ones in a row. Everything fell into place and we just knew it was right. Hope you find your path. These kinds of decisions are tough to make. 
    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt12a20b.aspx[/img][/url]

    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lauf.lilypie.com/IIbym5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers" /></a>
  • Glad to know I'm not the only one, thanks for all of the responses.  I agree PP about mixed messages, and it's probably because I am looking for specific signs and need to be more focused on the overall feeling of rightness as others have mentioned.  Also I think I need to be more patient and realize that this will happen and develop at it's own pace, just because I want to get started right this second doesn't mean that I should do something just to get started sooner.


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  • Yes, but I think it part of it was in hindsight- I had complete faith that our situation was going to work out because of various signs I saw along the way- too personal to put on a public forum.  
  • YES- and the signs are leaving me stressed and exhausted!
    TTC since June 2010
    5 Angels

    Lilypie - (hlC0)
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