UO's? — The Bump
Stay at Home Moms

UO's?

Apparently we are still asleep?  Anyone have any?

Re: UO's?

  • My UO for the week is that I dislike Elf on the Shelf and think it's creepy! I know there was already a thread on this, but I am sick of seeing that Elf all over FB.
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  • image Spin313:
    My UO for the week is that I dislike Elf on the Shelf and think it's creepy! I know there was already a thread on this, but I am sick of seeing that Elf all over FB.

    Agreed.  I don't "get" it.  I don't understand how the tradition started, if it is just a fad...  why people get kicks out of doing it, etc.


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  • image cjcouple:
    I think if there is a SAHP in the house, they should be responsible for maintaining the household chores!nbsp;
    I read these posts where people get all fired up about their only job as a SAH parent is to watch the kids.nbsp; That is a cop out.nbsp;
    Now, I don't think they have to do everything, and not saying it has to be perfect or that a bad day isnt allowed butnbsp;I do think they should be responsible for dishes and keeping counters wiped down, picking up after themselves and the kids laundry, maybe sweeping the floornbsp;etc.nbsp;
    I speak from experience, when I worked, DH was laid off for over a year! I workednbsp;12 hour daysnbsp;and the last thing I wanted to do wasnbsp;to come home to a disaster day after day!
    Now as anbsp;SAHM, Inbsp;am not perfect but it is rarely in shambles.nbsp; Bottom line as a SAHP your job is more than JUST watching the children.nbsp;
    Disclaimer the first few newborn months get a pass...lol. I think that is just survival mode


    This is the way that things work in our household. Before SAH, I worked two jobs and DH did as well so we shared household duties. Now my job is taking care of the house and children. I still expect him to help sometimes but the majority is my responsibility.
  • I hate when somebody has a "secret family recipe" for something simple like chocolate chip cookies and won't share it. I think its just a way for them to feel more self important or something.
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  • image cjcouple:

    I think if there is a SAHP in the house, they should be responsible for maintaining the household chores! 

    I read these posts where people get all fired up about their only job as a SAH parent is to watch the kids.  That is a cop out. 

    Now, I don't think they have to do everything, and not saying it has to be perfect or that a bad day isnt allowed but I do think they should be responsible for dishes and keeping counters wiped down, picking up after themselves and the kids laundry, maybe sweeping the floor etc. 

    I speak from experience, when I worked, DH was laid off for over a year! I worked 12 hour days and the last thing I wanted to do was to come home to a disaster day after day!

    Now as a SAHM, I am not perfect but it is rarely in shambles.  Bottom line as a SAHP your job is more than JUST watching the children. 

    Disclaimer (the first few newborn months get a pass...lol. I think that is just survival mode)

    I think that most people who hold the view that a SAHP's job is to watch the kids wouldn't disagree with the fact that they should do a greater share of household chores. They just acknowledge that it isn't the primary job responsibility. Getting to do the bulk of the housework is a perk of the "job" but it just isn't the primary focus. Most of the time this line comes in when someone says their DH does nothing to help out with the household and/or the kids.

    My view may be skewed by the fact both of my kids are young and have special needs. If I had school age children/one easy kid I probably would think my "job" should have a greater focus on maintaining household chores.

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  • image cjcouple:
    I think if there is a SAHP in the house, they should be responsible for maintaining the household chores!nbsp;
    I read these posts where people get all fired up about their only job as a SAH parent is to watch the kids.nbsp; That is a cop out.nbsp;
    Now, I don't think they have to do everything, and not saying it has to be perfect or that a bad day isnt allowed butnbsp;I do think they should be responsible for dishes and keeping counters wiped down, picking up after themselves and the kids laundry, maybe sweeping the floornbsp;etc.nbsp;
    I speak from experience, when I worked, DH was laid off for over a year! I workednbsp;12 hour daysnbsp;and the last thing I wanted to do wasnbsp;to come home to a disaster day after day!
    Now as anbsp;SAHM, Inbsp;am not perfect but it is rarely in shambles.nbsp; Bottom line as a SAHP your job is more than JUST watching the children.nbsp;
    Disclaimer the first few newborn months get a pass...lol. I think that is just survival mode


    I agree 100. What I find annoying is when I hear people say their H expects this or that. When I worked, I didn't expect anything from DH, we both worked full time and did chores when time allowed. Sure, there were a handful of things that had to be done daily but most household chores could wait until one of us had time to do them. Now that I'm home, I try to do as much as I can, well, because I'm home more than DH. But if I don't scrub the toilets or finish folding laundry, he helps do it. I know he appreciates it that I do more than he does at home but if I don't get to sonething, its not the end if the world.
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  • I agree that the sahm should be responsible for cleaning up again after themselves, but not feel guilty if you have a slacker day. When working people have slacker days so the same should be allowed at home.

    My uo is that I think husbands that don't help out around the house, watch the kids by themselves or otherwise pulled their fair what in a family aren't at fault some of the times.  The wife needs to state her expectations and stick to them.  If I didn't tell dh my expectations around the house he wouldn't do as much as he does.  I expect all the outside work, maintenance and half the laundry to be done by him.  I also want to sleep in at least once a week (he has 4 mornings off).  He steps up to the plate and I don't feel resentful.  To many people just say there husbands don't do x y z because they don't like to.  To frigin bad for them, step up and do it.


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  • Have to start of saying, I hate when DS is sick. I much rather be sick for him.
    My UO: I've been so productive since LO is a blob on the couch watching cars. Two loads of laundry done, dishwasher emptied and loaded, soup simmers for lunch and 1hr of work done. I only let him watch 30mins a day but during illness, I have no rules. I'm enjoying the plugged in toddler today.
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  • Re-homing is nonsense.  You're getting rid of your pet - own it.
    TTC since September '08 After 2 m/c - lap for stage 3-4 endo Oct '09 Bravelle w/Ovidrel trigger - iui on 11/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Meal planning is not that hard.  It does not require apps, excel sheets, memberships, or subscriptions. 

    It only requires thinking about what you want to eat, then making sure you have the correct ingredients to make it. 

     

  • I don't like "re-gifting" or getting "re-gifts". I have 4 kids. 9 times out of 10, the re-gift is either an item I ALREADY own, or it's something that I can't stand and then have to donate somewhere...............
    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • image Hav=Fath:

    image CnAmom:
    My primary job as a SAHM is to care for the children. I am not a live-in maid, and I absolutely refuse to clean up after a grown man just because he works outside of the house. You know, because he's a grown man and I am not his mother. Yes, I keep up with the house, but H helps out and it's NBD if something doesn't get done. Call it a cop out if you want to, but until someone starts paying me, my title will continue to be SAHMom.

    I also agree with this. I think that all of us agree that our primary responsibility is to care for our children during the day, not much arguments will be there I don't think. But some people talk about how they split the household chores 50/50 and IMO that seems silly, obviously our roles should be house carer (is that a word?) since we are home all day. 

    I'm not home most of the day, though.  I spend almost as many hours away from the house as DH.  For this reason, we are both "on" in the evening after the kids go to bed to get the house back in order.  If he got to sit and "unwind" while I worked another 3 hours, that would be an issue for me.

    This comes back to -whatever works for your family.  We don't split 50/50, but DH does a large share.  And it is because my primary focus during the day is the kids and we agree on tht.  And I am almost never here.  I try to throw a load of laundry in before I run out the door in the morning, but truly I do most of the laundry between 8 pm and 1 am when the kids are in bed and I have more time.

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  • image M&MHaveMyHeart:
    image cjcouple:
    image M&MHaveMyHeart:

    image CnAmom:
    My primary job as a SAHM is to care for the children. I am not a live-in maid, and I absolutely refuse to clean up after a grown man just because he works outside of the house. You know, because he's a grown man and I am not his mother. Yes, I keep up with the house, but H helps out and it's NBD if something doesn't get done. Call it a cop out if you want to, but until someone starts paying me, my title will continue to be SAHMom.

    I totally agree with you. Honestly, I hardly do anything around the house during the day. Housework is not a big deal here. We've always had an unsaid agreement that DH does dishes (don't have a dishwasher yet.) It really hurts my back to do it, probably because I'm so short.

    Once in a while I do a load of laundry but we usually do catch up housework on the weekends together. DS doesn't expect me to do anything but care for our son while he is at work. He always tells me not to do anything (just one of the things I love about him.) Lol

     

    Sorry M&M but this is just laziness.  You seriously just let the dishes pile up all day instead of taking the few minutes to do them right away??

    CNA - I absolutely am not saying clean up after your DH, but you do need to clean up after your children (and teach them) since they create the most mess anyway!!  I am their mother and it is my role as a mom to pick up after them until they are old enough to do it themselves. (which they are at 3 and 6 but they still need help).

    It is not that hard to stay on top of the housework (again not all of it but the basics) and watch your children. It's the same as people who are martyrs and say they cant find 10 minutes to shower

    FTR: I also expect the same of my DH if I am not home. If I go out with some girlfriend shopping for the day, I better not come home to a huge pile of dishes in the sink, while he sat his ass on the couch!

     

    My 15 month old son & I don't really make a "pile" of dishes in the 8 hours we are by ourselves. 2 or 3 dishes isn't such a big deal 

    How??? What do you eat? 

    Given, I have one more kid than you have, but three meals/2 snacks for the kids/2 meals for me makes a lot more mess than just 2-3 dishes.

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  • image LalaMama81:
    Oh, and my UO, I hate getting Christmas cards where all the family could be bothered to do is sign their name. Sometimes that is even pre-printed. If you cannot, at minimum, hand write our names and sign your own, you have too many cards to send. Don't bother. This seems to be getting worse and worse - all these photo card sites w/ completely filled out cards, totally personalized - some will even mail them for you if you send them addresses. I think it's my Emily Post love coming out, but I hate cards like that.

    My UO is that I think it's a complete waste of time to sign Christmas cards. I don't have the time or inclination to write a little note on each of them, so why not pre-print our names. Nobody gets extra points with me for doing it, I slap them all up on the fridge no matter what. I notice a cool picture, cute kids or a beautiful card way more than what's written on them.

    I also hate those letters about what has been going on.  

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  • image cjcouple:
    image KateMW:

    image LalaMama81:
    Oh, and my UO, I hate getting Christmas cards where all the family could be bothered to do is sign their name. Sometimes that is even pre-printed. If you cannot, at minimum, hand write our names and sign your own, you have too many cards to send. Don't bother. This seems to be getting worse and worse - all these photo card sites w/ completely filled out cards, totally personalized - some will even mail them for you if you send them addresses. I think it's my Emily Post love coming out, but I hate cards like that.

    My UO is that I think it's a complete waste of time to sign Christmas cards. I don't have the time or inclination to write a little note on each of them, so why not pre-print our names. Nobody gets extra points with me for doing it, I slap them all up on the fridge no matter what. I notice a cool picture, cute kids or a beautiful card way more than what's written on them.

    I also hate those letters about what has been going on.  

    Newsletters?  I mean "Brag" letters...I HATE those!

     

    Yes! They drive me nuts! 

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  • image KateMW:

    image LalaMama81:
    Oh, and my UO, I hate getting Christmas cards where all the family could be bothered to do is sign their name. Sometimes that is even pre-printed. If you cannot, at minimum, hand write our names and sign your own, you have too many cards to send. Don't bother. This seems to be getting worse and worse - all these photo card sites w/ completely filled out cards, totally personalized - some will even mail them for you if you send them addresses. I think it's my Emily Post love coming out, but I hate cards like that.

    My UO is that I think it's a complete waste of time to sign Christmas cards. I don't have the time or inclination to write a little note on each of them, so why not pre-print our names. Nobody gets extra points with me for doing it, I slap them all up on the fridge no matter what. I notice a cool picture, cute kids or a beautiful card way more than what's written on them.

    I also hate those letters about what has been going on.  

    I agree about signing Christmas cards.

    I don't like getting the brag letters either.  I usually end up rolling my eyes at them. 

    Ms. A  - 2007, Mr. C - 2009
  • image LalaMama81:
    I rarely do any dishes during the day either. There aren't a ton, but they all get done after dinner every night. And yes, my husband usually washes them. 

    I unload and he reloads...or we swap. Either way I don't do them all. 

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  • image LalaMama81:
    Oh, and my UO, I hate getting Christmas cards where all the family could be bothered to do is sign their name. Sometimes that is even pre-printed. If you cannot, at minimum, hand write our names and sign your own, you have too many cards to send. Don't bother. This seems to be getting worse and worse - all these photo card sites w/ completely filled out cards, totally personalized - some will even mail them for you if you send them addresses. I think it's my Emily Post love coming out, but I hate cards like that.

    I am so with you on this.  If you are so lazy that you can't take the time to sign your name why even bother sending a card?  Because clearly you are only concerned about AWing your kids and I get enough of that on FB (full disclosure I post a lot of kid pics on FB, but I don't do photo cards.  Family gets a pic of the kids in a card)

    I also don't care for photo cards.  If anything, they have made Christmas cards more impersonal with the pre-printing of everything.

    image
    DS 3.12.08
    DD 7.11.09
    DD 8.01.13
  • image LalaMama81:
    I rarely do any dishes during the day either. There aren't a ton, but they all get done after dinner every night. And yes, my husband usually washes them. 
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  • I also am not really sure where I stand on this housework issue.  H helps out a ton with the kids and whatever when he is here but he works a lot.  We are out and about a lot but things still get messy.  I pick up after everything because I am anal about clutter (dishes in the sink drive me bananas)

    I could do a lot more, but most days I just don't feel like it.  H knew when he married me that I was not really a deep-cleaning kind of gal.  If that makes me lazy, then so be it

    image
    DS 3.12.08
    DD 7.11.09
    DD 8.01.13
  • image LalaMama81:
    I rarely do any dishes during the day either. There aren't a ton, but they all get done after dinner every night. And yes, my husband usually washes them. 

    Harlot!  Layabout!  Put down those bonbons and wash the dishes woman! Big Smile

    TTC since September '08 After 2 m/c - lap for stage 3-4 endo Oct '09 Bravelle w/Ovidrel trigger - iui on 11/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image eaglesfan700:

    I also am not really sure where I stand on this housework issue.  H helps out a ton with the kids and whatever when he is here but he works a lot.  We are out and about a lot but things still get messy.  I pick up after everything because I am anal about clutter (dishes in the sink drive me bananas)

    I could do a lot more, but most days I just don't feel like it.  H knew when he married me that I was not really a deep-cleaning kind of gal.  If that makes me lazy, then so be it

    I second all of this. I could have written it. Some days my house looks GOOD and others H helps pick up when he gets home. 

    __________________________________________________________________________________________ 

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  • image Hav=Fath:

    It's not even an issue in our house since we both work from home, but if my H worked out of the home all day long I could not imagine leaving dishes (even a few) for him to do when he got home, can't.

    Meh. On the days I have done dishes 3 times already, he can handle loading the dishwasher for once :)  

    __________________________________________________________________________________________ 

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  • image LalaMama81:
    I rarely do any dishes during the day either. There aren't a ton, but they all get done after dinner every night. And yes, my husband usually washes them. 

    I will fully own the fact I'm not a terrific housekeeper but this baffles me. It literally takes under 2 minutes to wipe/rinse dishes after you let them sit in soapy water while you eat lunch with the kids. I can't fathom telling my DH when he comes home from work to clean up our mess we made all day and the idea of dirty dishes sitting out until DH gets home to clean them is digusting. I certainly don't mind having DH clean up after dinner when I cooked for him or help out by emptying the dishwasher while I'm cooking but having him clean up after my mess no matter how little is taking advantage imo.

    I also cannot understand how there's little dishes for three people eating unless they're eating boxed, microwaved stuff all day.

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  • My UO: I think our hodge-podge ornament tree is fabulous! I always wanted a designer looking tree but when I look at it I smile and remember who or where we got the silly ornament :) 
    __________________________________________________________________________________________ 

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  • I dislike Christmas cards in general.  They seem like a waste of time and money.  I dont need a card when i see you all.the.freakin.time wishing me a happy new year, just say it to me next time i see you.  It bothers me when people don't write a personal message inside.  And unless your my neice or newphew I really don't need your family picture on my mantel.  

    The only person ienjoy getting one from is one uncle because he has now made a game out of it to see if i will remember to send him one.  I dont remember and usually send him a card for the next holiday just for fun and to mess with him.  He has every singke card he has ever recieved hanging in his house at christmas and my easter/halloween/whatever card in the mix which i find hillarous.

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  • I send out photo cards for Christmas and I write a message on the back of every one. We only order 24 and they only go to family [both DH and I have pretty small families] and a handful of close friends. I don't want pictures of everyone's kids, I assume not everyone wants pictures of mine.
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  • I admit to being Type A, but I would be grossed out to leave dishes in the sink all day. Bleah. I don't get the mentality of waiting on things it is so much faster and easier to stay on top of it! It takes me 5 minutes tops to do the dishes after breakfast and lunch if I saved all dish washing for after dinner I would be at the sink for 20 straight minutes. Who wants that??? Or waiting on laundry until you have a crap ton of loads...then you spend all freaking day doing laundry and folding! I guess my UO is I really don't get people who can't stay on top of housework or say that their "job" is only watching the kids. Does your kid not nap? Play independently ever? Sit on their high chair and eat puffs for 20 minutes?? Sure we all have no nap days or crazy days, but on a regular day I have at least a few hours of no kid watching time.
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  • image NandaB:

    3) I was just gonna say I dislike the looooong UO threads where there is excessive quoting and rehashing of the same sh!t. The same people always play the same roles: someone(s) "tell it like it is" someone tries to be the voice of reason, someone can't do ___ because her kids ___. Its getting old - but here I am participating.

    THIS!

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  • image KC_13:

    image LalaMama81:
    I rarely do any dishes during the day either. There aren't a ton, but they all get done after dinner every night. And yes, my husband usually washes them. 

    I will fully own the fact I'm not a terrific housekeeper but this baffles me. It literally takes under 2 minutes to wipe/rinse dishes after you let them sit in soapy water while you eat lunch with the kids. I can't fathom telling my DH when he comes home from work to clean up our mess we made all day and the idea of dirty dishes sitting out until DH gets home to clean them is digusting. I certainly don't mind having DH clean up after dinner when I cooked for him or help out by emptying the dishwasher while I'm cooking but having him clean up after my mess no matter how little is taking advantage imo.

    I also cannot understand how there's little dishes for three people eating unless they're eating boxed, microwaved stuff all day.

    LOL You are being very dramatic over something that just isn't a big damn deal. Lord. Do your dishes...and if it bothers you so much, come on over and do mine then go do Lala's. 

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  • I hate Christmas cards, period. If we're close friends/ family, I'm probably going to see you around the holidays anyway. If we're not close friends/ family, I'm probably going to glance at your card for two seconds and then throw it in the trash. Either way, they're a total waste of time and money in my opinion. 
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  • image DevonPow:
    I admit to being Type A, but I would be grossed out to leave dishes in the sink all day. Bleah. I don't get the mentality of waiting on things it is so much faster and easier to stay on top of it! It takes me 5 minutes tops to do the dishes after breakfast and lunch if I saved all dish washing for after dinner I would be at the sink for 20 straight minutes. Who wants that??? Or waiting on laundry until you have a crap ton of loads...then you spend all freaking day doing laundry and folding! I guess my UO is I really don't get people who can't stay on top of housework or say that their "job" is only watching the kids. Does your kid not nap? Play independently ever? Sit on their high chair and eat puffs for 20 minutes?? Sure we all have no nap days or crazy days, but on a regular day I have at least a few hours of no kid watching time.

    Yeah, my kid does NONE of those things. He naps mostly in the car; plays in his saucer/with a toy for 10 minutes at the very most, he is usually crying after 5; and doesn't understand puffs or other food. If he can see me constantly and I can talk to him the whole time he MIGHT stay calm for a bit but it really varies, plus a lot of that time is used for cooking meals and doing cleaning things other than dishes (which my husband cares about me doing more.)

    Its weird to me that other people feel that I should do the dishes during the day because it bothers THEM if they aren't done. My pet peeves are coffee makers left on "warm" all day, unfolded laundry, toys on the floor, and kitchen or bathroom floors with ANY dirt on them but it would never occur to me tell other people that they need to reorganize their lives to make me feel better.

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  • image KateMW:
    image KC_13:

    image LalaMama81:
    I rarely do any dishes during the day either. There aren't a ton, but they all get done after dinner every night. And yes, my husband usually washes them. 

    I will fully own the fact I'm not a terrific housekeeper but this baffles me. It literally takes under 2 minutes to wipe/rinse dishes after you let them sit in soapy water while you eat lunch with the kids. I can't fathom telling my DH when he comes home from work to clean up our mess we made all day and the idea of dirty dishes sitting out until DH gets home to clean them is digusting. I certainly don't mind having DH clean up after dinner when I cooked for him or help out by emptying the dishwasher while I'm cooking but having him clean up after my mess no matter how little is taking advantage imo.

    I also cannot understand how there's little dishes for three people eating unless they're eating boxed, microwaved stuff all day.

    LOL You are being very dramatic over something that just isn't a big damn deal. Lord. Do your dishes...and if it bothers you so much, come on over and do mine then go do Lala's. 

    It's not that I'm trying to be dramatic--it's just that shocking to me. I just think it's lazy and kind of gross honestly.

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  • image CnAmom:
    Gah I hate that I can't quote long posts. Anyway, today I had a granola bar, yogurt and coffee for breakfast, and we had christmas tree-shaped cheese sandwiches, wheat thins, and grapes for lunch (boys have breakfast at school). So far today we have used 3 plates, 3 cups, 2 spoons, and a coffee cup (all of which have been rinsed off). I'm kind of confused about how many dishes we're supposed to use during the day for our meals to be "acceptable", but I guess the food We eat isn't fancy or complicated enough to require a ton of dishes. ::scratches head::

    Well, that kind of makes sense when your kids are away for a meal.

    Maybe it's different for me since I cook a lot. We did veggie omlets for breakfast, pasta with sauce for lunch, and snacks were yogurt with granola/sliced pineapple. That's three plates for breakfast (plus the cutting board/bowl to scramble eggs/pan to cook in), 2 bowls for snacks, 3 bowls for lunch, plus another pan/tupperware for frozen sauce. That's a lot of mess to sit around until DH comes home.

    I've always considered myself to be a progressive SAHM but maybe I'm more 50s housewife than I think. I certainly don't have the place sparkling, but I feel the least I can do is have my DH come home to a clean kitchen and a cooked meal when I'm the one who SAH all day.

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  • image amy052006:
    image eaglesfan700:

    I also am not really sure where I stand on this housework issue.  H helps out a ton with the kids and whatever when he is here but he works a lot.  We are out and about a lot but things still get messy.  I pick up after everything because I am anal about clutter (dishes in the sink drive me bananas)

    I could do a lot more, but most days I just don't feel like it.  H knew when he married me that I was not really a deep-cleaning kind of gal.  If that makes me lazy, then so be it

    Amen, sister.  I am sure as hell not spending my day cleaning -- not what I signed up for.  Not to mention, now that I have two kids, DH practically gives me a gold star when I pull off some chores during the day.

    I also am dumbfounded by people who say they are out a lot so their houses don't get messy.  My kid can get out every toy he owns in five minutes. 

    I agree with this! We are out a lot--between playgroups/therapies for the kids/activities we're probably gone 25-30 hours a week. The kids still manage to trash the house. Not so much my older one because he knows to clean up his toys when he's done playing before he moves on to something else--but my younger child is like a small tornado.

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