When does it get better?

LoveBabies1207 · November 2012

I've been on TK/TN/TB for a while now. I have an almost 14 month old son, and found out I was about 5 weeks pregnant a week and a half ago. After a week, spotting, then heavy flow, temp drop, no longer BFP, the whole nine yards.

This happened to me before I conceived my son, and it was difficult to get through. I'm finding it almost even more difficult this time around though. I feel like half the time I have to fake a smile around my son. When he goes to bed, I have no motivation to do anything, or talk to anyone. It's almost like I just feel numb to the world.

How long will it take to get over this? I don't want to feel numb anymore :-/. It's been since Thanksgiving and I can't shake it.

Sonadora · November 2012

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I didn't have another child when I lost my first pg, so I can't specifically speak to that aspect. But to be perfectly honest I was angry at the world and not a happy person to be around until I got pg again and knew that it was a viable pg. And even then I still had a bitter feeling due to never really getting to experience the joy of a pg without the cloud of loss.

::hugs::

adoxyinherear · November 2012

It is so hard, and everyone seems to heal differently. If you can take some time for yourself, do. I know I cried a lot the first month after our early loss, but I trusted that my body was doing what it needed to do to ensure a healthy baby.

hopingwaiting · November 2012

Sorry for your loss. I know I cried a lot to the point of swollen eyelids the first two weeks, then had some good days, then with time had more and more good days. TTCAL was really emotional so had a lot of frustration and pain until pregnant again but that was a little different than the initial feelings. It must be hard to hold it together for your kid; if you can't all the time I think it's fine to say that mommy's feeling sad today but reassure that you love them, you'll feel better, and everything will be okay.

Karen1998 · November 2012

I'm sorry for your loss. It takes time to process. Give yourself some time to grieve. The holidays just make it harder. If you're still struggling after a few weeks, then it may be helpful for you to talk to a therapist so you can talk it out. That really helped me with my loss. Another thing that really helped me was writing out my feelings. (((Hugs)))

KJohnson826 · November 2012

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my first pregnancy early November last year, and I cried every day for the first three weeks, soon it dwindled to every other day or every couple days, but in time it does get easier. We all grieve differently so it may take more or less time for you, but the women on all the loss boards here are wonderful. Sending lots of hugs your way! It is difficult, but it does get easier!

Junebug060609 · November 2012

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I'm in the midst of my second loss as well, also with a 14 month old son (today!). I was a little farther along than you were (details in siggy), but it sounds like we found out at about the same time. My first loss was also before my son was conceived.

I've been finding my son to be the best thing to help me through this loss. He's my hope that maybe next time things will work out since it did once to get him here. Like you, even when I'm struggling, I try and keep my chin up and put on a good face for him. I have times of numbness as well as times of worry about what will happen with future pregnancies.

Your loss is still fresh. Give yourself time to process it, its a lot to digest...especially since having a 14 month old doesn't exactly leave you a lot of downtime, lol.

(((Big Hugs)))

spincat9 · November 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to heal; it hasn't been very long. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with people you can talk to who will be supportive and loving. There is no right answer to the question of how long it takes to get over as each person and each loss is so different. For me, I needed to hold my healthy daughter before I was able to let go of a lot of the grief from losing our first baby. Even now I will think of that baby and be so sad at the life I never got to meet. <<hugs>>

JulyMomma2U2 · November 2012

Sonadora:
I'm very sorry for your loss.

I didn't have another child when I lost my first pg, so I can't specifically speak to that aspect. But to be perfectly honest I was angry at the world and not a happy person to be around until I got pg again and knew that it was a viable pg. And even then I still had a bitter feeling due to never really getting to experience the joy of a pg without the cloud of loss.

::hugs::

All of this. I'm so sorry for your loss.. (((hugs)))

When does it get better?

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