Boss issues

mollykelley · November 2012

My boss and I have this competitive thing that often drives me crazy. I told her I was TTC bc I had to miss so much work for appointments. When we got a BFP I told her at 7w bc we were planning our international travel for the year and I requested to stay local. When I told her she cried and said she was jealous. Then I lost it at 8w.

Now I'm in a 2ww and she knows it, I've told her not to ask any questions until I'm ready to share after the holidays. Even if it is a BFN I don't want to talk about it as we will take a break til next year.

So today boss tells me she had unprotected sex with IT guy last week and is so sure she is Pg. She says she's making a nursery in her house and can't wait to be a mom. She's so happy and just wanted to share this with me. I'm so confused and sad and hurt right now. Sometimes I feel like she just wants to hurt me. I just had to share that so I can go back to work and not lose it.

mollykelley · November 2012

Still fuming... do I sound like I'm overreacting? I just smiled at her and told her she will make a great mom. I also kindly pointed out that it is a bit early for symptoms but I wish her the best.

Shouldn't people know not to brag about getting KU on a one night stand when they are talking to someone who has spent so much time and effort trying to start a family? It makes me wish this could be easy "oopsy" for me too.

I think these meds are making me uber emotional... Thanks for listening.

hlke · November 2012

Um, how can she even know she's KU yet? Honestly, she sounds kind of crazy and attention seeking, and I don't think you're overreacting. If she is pregnant, that wouldn't be the way to share the news, and if she isn't pregnant or is just guessing she's pregnant, well that's crazy.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this right now. The TWW can be a really emotional time, and it's okay to feel sensitive.

viciouskittie · November 2012

She definitely sounds like the conductor of the train to crazy town. I don't think you're over-reacting at all.

mmy101 · November 2012

I'm really sorry you are getting this from your boss. I would love to say it is just her and she is uber-crazy, but a lot of women do this. I would say ignore her, but I know how hard it is. She has already said she was jealous of you previously, so maybe it was a subconscious "nee-ner nee-ner" type comment. I have a few straight friends who say comments like this or telling me I am "so lucky" I can't just get "knocked up". Grrrr

mollykelley · November 2012

Thanks ladies. I'm feeling much better. I'm trying not to take it personally. She is obviously on some crazy trip right now. I'm hoping she will respect my wishes and not ask me about my situation and I definitely won't be asking her about hers. But when I do find out I'll let you know!

I don't understand these women who say they "just know" they are KU because their body gives them a message right after it happens... My body is so mixed up right now I wouldnt be able to read a message from it even if it sent me a damn email!

laynesmomma · November 2012

This is crazy! What do you do? Your boss sounds very interesting... Of course you would be upset on or off meds. Those are the times during ttc that a drink sounds nice (I don't drink but always seem to want one while ttc) . Hang in there and let yourself feel whatever you do and curse her if you need

2mommiesinoh · November 2012

I do not think you are over reacting at all! She sounds like she has that competitive I have to be better than you thing going on. People like that drive me crazy. I would say ignore her to the best of your ability.

2brides · November 2012

Yea. She sounds bat-$hit crazy.

madisonpeas · November 2012

Or as I borrowed from my BFF: Bonkers the Cat, or BTC for short.

mollykelley · November 2012

Thanks ladies... All these assessments are true. This is not a surprise coming from her as she is often crazy emotional and manipulative. There have been many other issues like travel schedules, who gets what office, and other stupid things that I constantly blow off. This issue of my TTC process felt really personal and hurtful. I can't talk to her about it anymore. DW reminded me that she is often thinking of herself and probably wasn't consciously trying to hurt me. I just need to let it go. And no laynesmom not take a drink. I don't drink either but moments like these remind me why I used to.

ctbride08 · November 2012

I'd go straight to HR. What the hell kind of boss is that??

Two*True · November 2012

I'm not going down the BSC train, but I will go down the totally-inappropraite-employee-boss-relationship train. Personally, talk of TTC should be off the table from both ends and leaves or requests for leave should probably be handled through HR in a strictly professional manner (not saying you were unprofessional in your request, but things are obviously well past the professional point on her side now).

2moms2twins · November 2012

2brides:
Yea. She sounds bat-$hit crazy.

could not agree more WACKO JACKO !

mollykelley · November 2012

You are all right. It is definitely innapropriate and we have had a friendship/work relationship for ten years. She was my boss and then I moved overseas for 4 years and we became friends. Then I moved back to US and she hired me back. It has been weird since then. I know now I shouldn't have shared TTC plans because she has been sometimes supportive and sometimes a pain about it. I need to start doing things according to HR policy for leave instead of telling her why. It is really obvious though when I say I can't travel a certain week. She knows it means I'm ovulating. She could probably say I'm not fulfilling my job bc I've had to decline travel that would normally be an obligation. DW wants me to get a new job bc I'm always so stressed. I love my job most days and my great benefits make TTC possible. I'm just discouraged today bc I don't think this cycle is it. This whole process is so stressful.

Want a personalized experience?

Boss issues

Re: Boss issues

Choose Another Board

Search Boards