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August 2012 Moms
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Insensitive men.

bigbootyjudibigbootyjudi member
in August 2012 Moms
I emailed SO the link to mspimama.com. I got home and th conversation went as follows:

Me: Did you get that link?
Him: Yea, doesn't seem as bad as I thought it would be.
Me: Says the person not eating it...
Him: Well, do you want to make him better or not?

NO. NO, I don't want my son to feel better. I enjoy his fits or screaming while you're at work and school, not here to help. Him screeching constantly in my ear and cleaning up diarrhea really brings a smile to my face.

Jerk.

Then the conversation continues on into me saying I interpreted it as if I don't do this diet, I'm a bad mom who wants my son to suffer and he says no, but I needed to be committed to it.

Oh, do I?! Because I don't know how to commit to anything...this pump, child, this life that has consumed me...I thought it'd be easy changing my entire lifestyle, silly me.

I'm just really upset, if you can't tell. Men have no idea. None. They don't sacrifice their bodies to bring these children into the world. They're not solely relied on as a source of food. They don't have to deal with the guilt that comes with breastfeeding or motherhood in general. I just feel like I've had to change so much in my life and sacrifice so much, while he hasn't had to. I just hate how "well that's the way it is" he is. I just want a, "yea, that really does suck." Some acknowledgement that this isn't so "easy" and "not as bad as it looks."

I hate all men today.

Eta: along with this change comes increasing my pumping sessions to build up a brand new stash...and figure out what to do with the nearly three THOUSAND ounces I already have frozen. So I'm bitter about that too, FWIW.
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Re: Insensitive men.

  • merricksmommerricksmom member
    All I can do is send you a hug. I am so sorry. That really does blow when all you want to hear is his acknowledging how hard it is.
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  • Cbarajas08Cbarajas08 member
    I am sorry that he isn't being understanding. We make a lot of sacrifices for our LOs and it sucks that they often go unnoticed.

    BTW, I am totally jealous of your stash. I am barely able to replace what DD eats while I am at work. I feel good because I have about 150oz frozen. How did you get so much??
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  • Tula214Tula214 member
    I'm so sorry. Especially about having to build a new stash. That it so rough. ::virtual hugs::

    Me and my SO got into a fight today because he has that same Outlook. They just have no freakin clue. Hope things get better.
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  • WhitEm14WhitEm14 member
    Amen. I am right here with you today.

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  • CGorgzCGorgz
    I'm sorry you're going through this. It's definitely so hard to find out you're in this with a dude who you created a baby with who you figure should completely understand what's happening emotionally, mentally and physically to us with baby but that they're so above clueless and always seem to say the wrong sh!t.
    My DD has been having absolutely ridiculous sleep recession and he told me that he totally feels for me, he didn't sleep all that much thru basic training. FU dude, squeeze a baby out and try to keep it alive on 2 hours of sleep and tell me if its relatable. Fighting dudes in the street for sure!
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  • punkrockabyepunkrockabye member
    As for what to do with your current stash, you can either donate it to a bank or make a mom [or moms] REALLY happy by finding someone through Human Milk 4 Human Babies or Eats on Feets! They can be found on facebook, and moms post there asking for milk when they can't provide it for one reason or another. That much milk could feed one kiddo for, what, over 3 months?! It is horrible for you to lose the use of that milk but it could keep another LO off of formula for a long time! I'd love to be able to do that.
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  • bigbootyjudibigbootyjudi member
    imageCbarajas08:
    I am sorry that he isn't being understanding. We make a lot of sacrifices for our LOs and it sucks that they often go unnoticed.

    BTW, I am totally jealous of your stash. I am barely able to replace what DD eats while I am at work. I feel good because I have about 150oz frozen. How did you get so much??

    In the beginning, before I dropped pumps, I was pumping about 12oz every two hours. He was only eating 2oz at a time, so a lot got put away! Now its 9oz each time and he's eating 4oz.
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  • Amjones52Amjones52 member

    imagepunkrockabye:
    As for what to do with your current stash, you can either donate it to a bank or make a mom [or moms] REALLY happy by finding someone through Human Milk 4 Human Babies or Eats on Feets! They can be found on facebook, and moms post there asking for milk when they can't provide it for one reason or another. That much milk could feed one kiddo for, what, over 3 months?! It is horrible for you to lose the use of that milk but it could keep another LO off of formula for a long time! I'd love to be able to do that.

     I'm sorry this happened : the guilt we put on ourselves is unreal an yes, sometimes we just want someone to say " you're great and doing everything you can do and then some" ...

    Fwiw ive looked on human milk 4 human babies and no one in my area has offered to donate so another bumpie and I are trying to work something out. I'd happily try working something out with another to get more. :)

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  • bearthebearbearthebear member
    Just take it one step at a time.  Focus on feeding today, tomorrow , not on building a stash.  I know you EP so your stash is more central.  But remember 50 to 100 oz is what most people have and is a lot.  Just take it one step at a time.
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  • smile50208smile50208 member

    imagepunkrockabye:
    As for what to do with your current stash, you can either donate it to a bank or make a mom [or moms] REALLY happy by finding someone through Human Milk 4 Human Babies or Eats on Feets! They can be found on facebook, and moms post there asking for milk when they can't provide it for one reason or another. That much milk could feed one kiddo for, what, over 3 months?! It is horrible for you to lose the use of that milk but it could keep another LO off of formula for a long time! I'd love to be able to do that.

     

    I don't know about this organization but I just donated milk to my best friend's friend. She's going through chemo and has had to pump and dump. I felt so good doing this.  She was trying to supplement one breast milk bottle per day with the formula and her stash was gone. I know it meant the world to her to receive the milk. It made my friend cry.   At least something good can come out of this situation. It *might* make you feel a little better.

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  • AprilAngieAprilAngie member
    imageWhitEm14:
    Amen. I am right here with you today.
    This! When I rmtalk to my BFF SHE says the same as ur dh! Oh well that's how it is! nO I want some acknowledgement and if my kids can't then my spouse should and better. I have ppd and everyone keeps Telling Me to get out of the funk, like I
    CHOose this! It's getting on my nerves BUT it's my birthday today so I'm going to be happy!
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  • poppyseed1017poppyseed1017 member

    OMFG.  You're right; they really don't get it. 

    I am mourning with you on the loss of your 3k ounces.  Omg, I can't even imagine.  Can you donate it or something?  Gah, my stomach hurts for you.

     






     

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