TTC After a Loss

update on BIL (lots of T&Ps needed!!!)

I posted on here the week before Thanksgiving about BIL's surgery but I'll recap for those who don't remember. 

On Wed (11/15) I received a phone call that doctor had discovered a tumor in BIL's brain. I drove down Thursday morning to support SIL (b/c she had to leave her mom at hospice where she was only given 24-72 hours to live) as her husband went through surgery. The doctors removed a tumor 1.5 times the size of a golf ball BIL and seemed confident that they got all of it. BIL went home on Mon (11/19) and recovery, although painful, seemed to be going well. SIL's mother did end up passing a few days later. I just got a text from DH and now it looks like BIL has a 75% chance of living another 5 years, 50% chance of making it to 10 years, and it just goes down from there. He is not even 40 years old yet, has two sons (9 and 11) and it looks like he won't even make 50. I am crying right now as I right this, I cannot even imagine how the others are handling this...

I know life is not fair but this just goes so far beyond that right now. DH just lost his oldest brother barely two years ago and now is having to deal with losing his other brother. My SIL lost her mother barely a week ago and now has to face the eventuality that she will lose her husband while her two sons will be losing their father. My MIL and FIL have already lost one son and now face the fact that they will lose another. I know sometimes miracles happen and my classes (I teach at a catholic HS) are praying for them daily but any thoughts or prayers for BIL, SIL, DH and their family would be appreciated.

DS1: 8/3/10, DD1: 8/17/13, DD2: 8/13/15
Twins lost to due to partial molar pregnancy: September 2011 
~~PAL, PgAL Always Welcome~~

Re: update on BIL (lots of T&Ps needed!!!)

  • wow. sounds like your family is dealing with a lot right now. so sorry to hear that :(

    lots of T&P's coming your way 

    BFP #1 - Mango - 6/11/12, EDD 2/22/12 Natural MC 7/15/12
    BFP #2 - Nacho - 10/14/12, EDD 6/20/13, MMC 8 weeks, D&C 11/16/12
    All testing shows both H and I are perfectly normal. Baby Nacho had triploidy. 
    Back to normal business December 2012
    BFP #3 - Froggy - 1/15/13, EDD 9/27/13 TEAM GREEN
    It's a girl! Alice - Born 9/20/13, 8lbs 2oz

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  • My thought and prayers are with you and your family.
    TW loss mentioned 

    **BFP#1 9/5/12   EDD 5/15/13  changed to 5/25/13 after u/s,  missed mc 10/19/12.  D and C 10/22/12** 
     **BFP#2 9/12/13  EDD 5/16/14 changed to 5/27/14 after u/s, hb 126 on 10/11/13, miscarriage on 10/24.13**
    ~RPL testing results from 12/6/13 show everything normal except elevated prolactin. Blood work is now in the normal range. All AL welcome!
    BFP #3 10/24/14  Our rainbow baby was born July 2015
    BFP 4 10/28/19 EDD 7/6/20
  • Wow, I don't even not what to say.  I am so so sorry you your family and in-laws.  Sending lots of prayers!
    BFP#1 02/19/12 missed mc 03/30/12 1st D&C 05/16/12 2nd D&C 08/17/12 
    BFP #2 06/26/13 EDD 2/26/14 Hoping for my rainbow baby!
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  • I'm so sorry for everything. Sending lots of T&P's your way.


  • Huge hugs and many, many positive thoughts headed your family's way.
    TTC #1 since January 2011
    BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
    BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
    After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
    Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
    BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
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    Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
  • thoughts and prayers are coming your way. (((huge hugs)))
    TTC #1 since 12/2010 DH: MFI, cancer survivor Me: Resected septate uterus, lap treated mild endo, tubes open, ovulate on own, autoimmune disease 3 Failed IUI's (2/2012, 4/2012, 6/2012) 
    IVF #1 August 2012. BFP! Beta #1 56.7 Beta #2 150 One baby, one heartbeat on 9/20/12! no h/b @7w6d. dandc @8w0d
    FET #1 December 2012, BFN
    FET #2 February 2013, no embies survived thaw
    IVF #2, BFP #2, Loss #2 March 2013, Scar tissue discovered, RPL testing,
    IVF #3, BFP #3, Loss #3 (twins) September 2013
    Hostile ute, moving onto Gestational Carrier!

    GC/FET #1 of 1 5AA blast and 1 compacted blast, February 2014, BFP #4 on 3/1/2014!
    6w u/s 1 bean with h/b of 145 bpm, 8w u/s 187 bpm
    EDD 11/7/14. Please, please, please stick little one!

    Praying unceasingly for a miracle. ALL welcome!

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  • I'm so sorry to hear that your family is going through this. Lots of T&P for you and DH.
    BFP#1 8/3/12~EDD 4/1/13~Natural M/C 9/1/12-9w6d 
    BFP#2 5/30/13~EDD 2/3/14~Confirmed CP 5/31/13
    7/12/13 Hysteroscopy & Lap Lysis of Adhesions
    1st Cycle on Clomid Aug '13: BFP#3 8/24/13~EDD 5/3/14
    Hoping Third Time's a Charm!!- IT'S A GIRL!!!! 
    KAYLIE MARIE IS HERE! BORN 5/4/14

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  • I'm so sorry your family is going through this. Lots of (((hugs))) and T&Ps being sent your way.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
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  • First let me say i am sorry you and your family are going thru such hard times.. My sister 33 yrs old last yr had a random brain bleed, she ended up having to stay in the hospital for 2 months.. she was in coma for 17days.. she left the hospital after having surg in her right upper lobe.. They said she wouldnt be able to move her left side.. well she left the hospital walking, talking and is recovering great.. My reason for saying is doctors arent god.. and alot of the time they are wrong... so just have hope and pray. My question is, why are they giving him a time of possible death if they removed the tumor???
  • I am so sorry, T&Ps!!
    image Noah Michael, born sleeping 9/29/12 at 19w 3d. We love you forever Little Man! image
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    BFP: 2/4/13 EDD: 10/11/13
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    Beta #1 11dpo:89 Progesterone:38.9 Beta #2 18dpo:1940
    HB seen at 6w HB 8w 5d 176bpm! Its a BOY!
    grow rainbow grow!!!!
    All Always Welcome!!
  • Oh wow. I'm definitely sending my prayers. Life is definitely not fair sometimes, I'm so sorry your family is experiencing such hardship.
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  • So sorry for all your family is dealing with.  Sending good thoughts your way (((hugs)))...

    BFP #1 4/10/12 D&C 6/5/12@ 12.5wks EDD 12/17/12
    BFP #2 9/10/12 CP 9/19/12@ 5.5wks EDD 5/21/13
    BFP# 3 12/3/12...Lukas James born 8/15/13
    BFP# 4 8/4/14 EDD 4/13/15

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  • I'm so sorry your family is going through this. I will definitely keep your BIL and all your family in my prayers. Please keep us updated. (((hugs)))

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • Many thoughts and prayers for your family. ((Hugs))
    TTC #1 Since Oct 2011
    BFP #1 4/29/12 m/c 5/18/12 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/28/12 EDD 5/10/13 MC 9/22/12 at 6w4d
    BFP #3 12/31/12 EDD 9/12/13

    Me Dx: DOR   DH: all tests normal
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  • Oh man I'm sorry to hear this. Many positive thoughts coming your way.

    ((hugs)) 

    TTC#1 12/1/11
    BFP #1 6/14/12 EDD 2/23/13, mm/c at 8w2d, D&C 8/1/12
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  • I'm so sorry for everything that is happening. I cant imagine what you, your DH and family are going through. Many prayers being sent!
    TTC #1 since 6/08. Cycle #6 - BFP 12/22/08, EDD 9/3/09, DD 8/14/09 at 37w1d
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    TTC #2 since 6/11
    me=36 - low AMH, DH=38
    BFP #2 - 8/31/11, EDD 5/10/12, M/C 9/23/11
    BFP #3 - 3/4/12, EDD 11/14/12, CP 3/11/12
    BFP #4 - 5/9/12, EDD 1/19/13, CP 5/11/12
    BFP #5 - 8/22/12, EDD 5/5/13, CP 8/24/12
    IVF#1 - January 2013 - EPP/Antagonist - 7R, 3M, 2F, 3dt of 2 8-cell embies
    BFP #6 - 2/3/13, EDD 10/15/13, DS 9/18/13 at 36w1d
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  • Oh my goodness, that is hard. Sending T&P's your way and to your family as well. And here are some ((Hugs)) for you.
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    Started TTC June 2010
    BFP #1
    07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
    TTA for 7 months
    Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
    TTC Again May 2014
    Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles
    - All BFN's
    SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results

    Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
    TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
    Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
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    My Blog: The Canadian Housewife    PGAL/PAL Welcome    My Chart
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  • I'm so sorry! That is too much for any one family to have to deal with. So many hugs, thoughts prayers!
    BFP #1: 3/3/12, EDD: 11/11/12, Missed M/C: 4/3/12 @ 8 weeks 2 days, D&C: 4/6/12
    BFP #2: 6/29/12, EDD: 3/8/13, Natural M/C: 7/16/12 @ 6 weeks 2 days
    Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Hypothyroidism
    BFP #3: Kendall Grace, born 9/30/13
    BFP #4: 9/3/14, EDD: 5/16/15, Missed M/C: 10/6/14 @ 8 weeks 2 days, D&C: 10/8/14
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  • oh goodness. thats a lot to deal with. Your family will be in my T's & P's. (((hugs)))
    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

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  • I am so sorry your family is going through all of this. That is so hard! I will be sending your family lots of thoughts and prayers. (((hugs)))

  • I am so sorry that you and your family are having such a rough time :( Lots of  healing T&P coming your way!
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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    TTC #2 Since October 2011
    RE testing results: DH- normal ME- DX:PCOS and One copy of MTHFR gene
    IUI#1 Sept/Oct 2012-Follistim, Ovidrel, Metformin, Baby Asprin, Lovenox, Crinone, and Neevo Beta 10/24=BFN
    No 2nd IUI but instead TI with Metformin, Baby Asprin, Neevo and Prometrium
    BFP #4 5/4/13-EDD 1/19/14- grow little one, grow!
    Beta #1@15DPO HCG-95, progesterone-25 Beta #4@24DPO HCG-2498, progesterone-30, 1st U/S 6mm,133BPM 2nd U/S 1.6cm, 167 BPM
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  • ((HUGS)) Sending positive thoughts your family's way.

    TTC Since 8/2011
    BFP #1 5/13/12 * EDD 1/24/13 * MC at 7 wks 4 days on 6/11/12
    BFP #2 5/13/13 * Current EDD 1/23/14

    Baby N born 2/8/14


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    Lilypie - (HD7B)

     

     

  • Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear all of this. I'm keeping your entire family in my prayers.  Is there any type of treatment that he'll be going through?  The worrying wont go away but I hope that you will all be able to use the time, no matter how short or long, to create as many memories as possible. I'm just so sorry cg. (((Hugs)))

    Lilypie - (dLe1)

     

          ***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.

           We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***

     Lilypie - (AW2u)
     

     Lilypie - (L84X)Lilypie - (D4Hj)

     

     

     

     

  • I am so sorry to hear this. Lots of hugs and T&Ps to your entire family. 

    PLEASE do not put too much weight into those statistics. I know you are all scared and it is hard right now, but I am speaking from a very personal place (have dealt with something similar very recently), and statistics never tell the whole story... they are for an enormous group of people - they do not speak to a specific patient or case. Everyone is different. I cannot stress this enough. Please PM me if you need an ear.

    Mr. & Mrs. B, Est. 10.23.2009
    m/c: 9/06/12
    LTB: 10/23/13
    Baby B 2.0 EDD: 3/15/16

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  • I'm so sorry your family is going through this. Hugs!!!
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  • Many T&P for your BIL's recovery, and peace for his family.

    im sorry you have to experience this. 

    image★´¯`•.¸¸.°¤TTCAL/PGAL/PAL Welcome,imageare not¤°.¸¸.•´¯`★image
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    נשמה שבאה לעולם למספר חודשים לשהות במעי האם, היא נשמת צדיק גמור שבאה לעולם רק לתקן פגם קטן ולאחר מספר חודשים אלו היא שבה למקומה לגן עדן להתענג על ה'. לעתיד לבוא נשמה זו תוכר באחד מבנייך ובזכות נשמת צדיק זה תזכי להיות במחיצת צדיקים
    TTC Since September 2011
    BFP#1:Dec.1.11 EDD:Aug.09.12 MC:Jan.11.12 (9WK5D)-Natural
    BFP#2:Apr.18.12 EDD:Dec.21.12 MC:May.1.12 (6WK3D)-D&C
    BFP#3:Sep.12.12 - Suspected CP | BFP#4:Dec.1.12 - Suspected CP
    BFP#5: Dec.26.12 EDD:Sep.10.13 MC:Jan.7.13 (4WK6D)-Natural
    BFP#6: Jun.11.13 EDD:Feb.23.13 Beta: #1=8000 #2=24532 US@6wk2d showed 7wk2d size with 143BPM HR * NT US@12wk6d looked good. A/S passed with flying colors and our team color is Blue! *Grow my little Pamplemousse*!!!
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  • I'm so sorry that your family is going through all of this.  Sending lots of hugs your way.
    PAIF/SAIF, PGAL/PAL welcome.
    TTC since March 2010 ~ Dx Unexplained IF September 2011
    2011: IUI + Clomid = CP#1
    2012: 3 more IUIs + Clomid = 3 more CPs. One on-our-own pg, also CP
    2013: BTB IUI + Lupron/Follistim/Prometrium/PIO = CP #6
    IF testing, RPL testing, Autoimmune testing = all normal
    So lost.
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  • My TnPs are being sent to your entire family. [[[Hugs]]]
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  • Oh sweetie, this is so heartbreaking.  Your whole family is definitely in my T&Ps.  *HUGE HUGS*
    Me (28): fine, DH (28): MFI
    Married 6/21/09
    Off BCP and TTC 4/17/11
    BFP #1 (ended in CP) 7/15/11
    Varicocelectomy surgery 9/4/12 - T improved to normal, but still low count

    Current Status: Pursuing Jan '15 IVF w/ ICSI
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  • I'm so sorry. That's a ton of hard news to deal with. T&P'S for everyone. 
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    BFP#1 05/08/12 - EDD 01/03/13 - MC 05/23/12 8w6d
    PCOS diagnosis 02/13 - Started Metformin 03/13
    BFP#2 04/07/13 - EDD 12/17/13
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  • Thank you all for your hugs, thoughts, and prayers. Thankfully DH should be coming home tomorrow so we'll be able to talk about it together. I feel horrible that he had to find all of this out right before he had to go offshore on a 2-week rotation. He did get to see his brother for a little bit before he had to leave thankfully. I'm not too sure about any of the treatment options right now as my SIL has been too stressed to really be able to take in any of the information the doctors have been giving her. Right now she's just trying to keep it all together while taking of their sons and helping her DH as he continues to recover from surgery. I really do appreciate all of you, ladies.

    I'm sorry I haven't been on here to offer support and hugs but know that all of you are in my thoughts daily. I teach at a catholic school and we pray at the start of every class so just know that you ladies are in my prayers daily and you have around 125 students praying for you as well.

    DS1: 8/3/10, DD1: 8/17/13, DD2: 8/13/15
    Twins lost to due to partial molar pregnancy: September 2011 
    ~~PAL, PgAL Always Welcome~~
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