Domestic Fundraising? — The Bump
Adoption

Domestic Fundraising?

Is it PC to have a fundraiser for a domestic adoption?  

I've only seen them done with international and don't want to sound so "money hungry" going this route. 

It's time. Adoption saving and process started in November 2012.
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Re: Domestic Fundraising?

  • I have seen several ladies do fundraisers for DIA. I do not see anything wrong with it and I have participated and hosted a couple fundraiser a for DIA adoptions for others.
    Brenda & Phillip married 10/10/09 

    After 6 years of failed cycles, we were blessed with our little man through adoption. 
    B born 1/3/2012. Adoption finalized 12/27/12

    Back  on the IF crazy train...
    Sept 2013 - IVF #1 -  BFP, EDD 6/4/14, born 6/8/14
    Everyone welcome

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  • We didn't fundraise, however, I don't see why there should be a difference. The kind of adoption you choose is very personal, and not always your choice. Some people simply cannot meet the criteria to adopt internationally, and some people have other reasons to be called here or there. I think it is similar to the choice of wether or not to pursue IF treatment, and what kind. It is just as personal when choosing DIA v/s IA v/s FA. The difference is that nobody's insurance covers any type of adoption. LOL

    IMO, choosing DIA doesn't mean that their adoption/family is any less impt, or less worthy of supporting. I wouldn't not (double negative, sorry!) support a family's adoption fundraiser, because they weren't "saving a child" somewhere. All of the underlying subtext about domestic infants being more "in demand" sounds so icky to me, and I feel like it has some kind of archaic baby-selling stereotype attached to it. In reality, DIA is where loving e-parents/b-parents try to make plans in advance for babies that they feel need loving homes. To me, modern practices of DIA are a beautiful, responsible, loving, pro-life option, and are def worth supporting. There is a need everywhere, and if a family was meant for IA/FA, that's where they would be. I support all types of adoption and adoptive families, when it is in the best interest of the child. Good luck if you decide to go the fundraising route!

    (*Steps off soap box) LOL

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  • Seriously, fundraise if you can.  This stuff is crazy expensive and I've found that most folks don't even have the slightest clue how expensive adoption is. We're not fundraising, because most of the venue's I've seen where fundraising is acceptable is through religious connections, and that's just not our bag.

     But go for it! 

     

    Maris a

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  • IMO it depends on how it's done.

    Taking on a second job, hosting yard sales, selling stuff on ebay or etsy, applying for grants, using other fundraising sites? Sure.

    Having friends/family offer and taking them up on it? Sure.

    Sending people a letter saying, "This is how much our adoption will cost, please send us money"? Tacky IMO. Others may disagree.

  • We did not fundraise but I have seen it done for DIA.

     I've seen the best successes come from PAPs that allow friends and family "take the ride" with them.  In other words, sharing the details of your journey via blog so they feel invested in your journey.  For me, this would not have been comfortable but many people love to share the details.

    Also, I think knowing your friends and family and going w/your gut is important.  You know if your family would take offense or if they'd think it was a good idea.  Go with your own knowledge of what's right in  your world.

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • image Dr.Loretta:

    IMO it depends on how it's done.

    Taking on a second job, hosting yard sales, selling stuff on ebay or etsy, applying for grants, using other fundraising sites? Sure.

    Having friends/family offer and taking them up on it? Sure.

    Sending people a letter saying, "This is how much our adoption will cost, please send us money"? Tacky IMO. Others may disagree.

    I think "tacky" is too harsh.  If you are fundraising you should make it clear that you are doing everything possible to pay for the adoption yourself, but there is only so much money a couple can raise through selling/grants etc.  We did everything possible to raise the money ourselves- being frugal, etsy shop, online auction, pancake breakfast, selling shirts... it was a second full time job for us.  But even after all that we were still only 2/3rd of the way there.  We explained this in our letter and it did not come off like "please send us money" at all.  It was about giving a child a family.  The fact of the matter is that our son would not have a family if our community did not bring him home to us and that's how we saw the fundraising letter.  It was a last resort to pay for our adoption but a necessary one, written in humility and with gratitude. 

    So again- the letter has potential to be tacky but it depends on how it is worded and whether or not the couple is doing everything else to pay for the adoption themselves.

    TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
    SA February 2011: Normal
    RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI

    Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption

    Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
    Court trip October 2012
    Home November 24 2012!

    Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues: 

    Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count 
    Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???

    Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013

    Adding a Burden
  • image jillianmb:
    image Dr.Loretta:

    IMO it depends on how it's done.

    Taking on a second job, hosting yard sales, selling stuff on ebay or etsy, applying for grants, using other fundraising sites? Sure.

    Having friends/family offer and taking them up on it? Sure.

    Sending people a letter saying, "This is how much our adoption will cost, please send us money"? Tacky IMO. Others may disagree.

    I think "tacky" is too harsh.  If you are fundraising you should make it clear that you are doing everything possible to pay for the adoption yourself, but there is only so much money a couple can raise through selling/grants etc.  We did everything possible to raise the money ourselves- being frugal, etsy shop, online auction, pancake breakfast, selling shirts... it was a second full time job for us.  But even after all that we were still only 2/3rd of the way there.  We explained this in our letter and it did not come off like "please send us money" at all.  It was about giving a child a family.  The fact of the matter is that our son would not have a family if our community did not bring him home to us and that's how we saw the fundraising letter.  It was a last resort to pay for our adoption but a necessary one, written in humility and with gratitude. 

    So again- the letter has potential to be tacky but it depends on how it is worded and whether or not the couple is doing everything else to pay for the adoption themselves.

    I was just providing my perspective, since a letter that said, "This is how much our adoption will cost, send us money" was sent by a member of our family. THAT was tacky IMO.

  • image Dr.Loretta:
    image jillianmb:
    image Dr.Loretta:

    IMO it depends on how it's done.

    Taking on a second job, hosting yard sales, selling stuff on ebay or etsy, applying for grants, using other fundraising sites? Sure.

    Having friends/family offer and taking them up on it? Sure.

    Sending people a letter saying, "This is how much our adoption will cost, please send us money"? Tacky IMO. Others may disagree.

    I think "tacky" is too harsh.  If you are fundraising you should make it clear that you are doing everything possible to pay for the adoption yourself, but there is only so much money a couple can raise through selling/grants etc.  We did everything possible to raise the money ourselves- being frugal, etsy shop, online auction, pancake breakfast, selling shirts... it was a second full time job for us.  But even after all that we were still only 2/3rd of the way there.  We explained this in our letter and it did not come off like "please send us money" at all.  It was about giving a child a family.  The fact of the matter is that our son would not have a family if our community did not bring him home to us and that's how we saw the fundraising letter.  It was a last resort to pay for our adoption but a necessary one, written in humility and with gratitude. 

    So again- the letter has potential to be tacky but it depends on how it is worded and whether or not the couple is doing everything else to pay for the adoption themselves.

    I was just providing my perspective, since a letter that said, "This is how much our adoption will cost, send us money" was sent by a member of our family. THAT was tacky IMO.

    I know; so am I. 

    TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
    SA February 2011: Normal
    RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI

    Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption

    Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
    Court trip October 2012
    Home November 24 2012!

    Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues: 

    Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count 
    Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???

    Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013

    Adding a Burden
  • I don't think this is a DIA vs IA discussion necessarily.  I can see why it would be... Because some people donate to IAs because they feel like they are helping to "save a child".  And DIA is viewed differently (right or wrong).  But I think it comes down to how you plan to do it - irregardless of your adoption path.

    Like Dr.L said... If you're selling things, working a second job, garage sales, etc, that seems fine IMO.

    If your only fundraising path/idea is that you're sending a letter just straight out asking for money.... ummm.. no.

    As a side note, I believe that most people that feel lead to help financially will - as long as they know the need is there. 

     And, as I post this, it occurs to me that organizations (Susan G. Komen, ASPCA, MS Walk, etc) take the letter path regularly... and that seems to be socially acceptable.  Interesting, right? 

    Me: 32, DH: 45... TTC #1 since May 2010
    July - Nov 2011: Testing with OB... OB said everything looks good
    March - Sept 2012: Moved to RE.. 4 treatment cycles - responses of one or no follicles
    09.03.12: Diagnosed Poor Ovarian Response.. DE IVF only option
    Feb - Nov 2012: Pursued Adoption. That door slammed shut.
    12.23.12: Surprise BFP (first ever)... 12.25 - 12.31: Natural M/C
  • Thanks to everyone who had input.  I don't feel comfortable sending out letters...but I do feel comfortable hosting a super fun Bingo night at the local VFW.  How would that come across?  You pay $20 for a card to play and we would *try* to get local businesses to donate prizes. 

    I love bingo..like a lot.  :) 

    It's time. Adoption saving and process started in November 2012.
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