March 2012 Moms

DS grandparents-vent

OK, so I love my parents and my ILs, they are absolutely wonderful to DH and I.  They do so much for DS and I usually do not have an issues with them.  But as DS gets older, I feel like they are becoming more opinionated with things we should be doing with DS.

one example is discipline...my dad yelled at DS for slapping his face...Yes, that is bad, and he needs to learn not to slap people; but my dad has very intimidating voice, and it literally sounded like he was yelling at 10 year old. DS is 8 months, and a simple "no, that's not nice" would have been just fine! don't scream at my baby!!!! Or they freak out and yell at me like I am not watching my kid when DS is standing and falls over...OMG he just fell on carpet..he is fine and I am watching him and he going to fall down a lot..get over it!

And then over the weekend FIL try to give DS some of MIL jello mold...I saw him and said NO, do not give him any table food! I have only been giving DS fruits and veggie sticks, and everything else is still pureed. You can't just give him food off the table without asking me, or without knowing what he can or can't eat!

Or when we arrived to Thanksgiving dinner, the second we walked in the door FIL and MIL were like "oh he is here, everyone stop what they are doing and come see baby." maybe I am doing a bad job describing this, but it sounded like DS was GOD arriving to a party....I don't want him growing up being treated like a GOD...NO everyone doesn't have to stop what they are doing to run to the door to see DS. I know everyone is excited about him...but can I get him out of car seat first, so he can look around and see where he is at. the poor kid seriously looked freaked out, and was clinging onto me...he is never clingy!

I am just getting really annoyed with them. DH and I have been just fine figuring things out like food and discipline for DS...don't need anyone telling me what to do now.

am i being ridiculous? i am not sure..but they are annoying me. and I don't even know how to tell them without hurting their feelings because like I said they are great to DS and to us and I don't want to be mean or hurt them. DH says I am over reacting....but this has been happening a lot more lately.

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Re: DS grandparents-vent

  • I can see why you are frustrated. At a birthday party for my niece my dd had a cute headband on and FIL took it off because "it was squishing her head". It was plenty big. I just rolled my eyes to myself and moved on. Stuff like that I can ignore but other battles like yelling at dc I would try to nicely address. I would also politely remind people that DC needs his own space... Don't crowd even though you are excited. Dd is going through major stranger anxiety and that totally would have set her off. I would have been livid.
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    BFP #2 7/18/11 - EDD 3/29/12 - Born 3/13/12
    BFP #1 4/4/11 - Natural M/C - 7w1d - 4/30/11
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  • yea, he has not gone through any separation anxiety with us yet..and at Thanksgiving, he did not want to leave my arms. I was like WTH, he never acted like this. Let him breathe people, it's Thanksgiving we are going to be here for hours! DH or I had to literally had to hold him for almost an hour, or I would play with him on the floor, the second I got up to walk away he freak out. I was so mad especially when MIL was telling BIL, Jonathan doesn't like you because he never sees you..NO, Jonathan likes everyone...you guys just freaked him out the first 2 seconds he was here.
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  • The yelling and food issues would bother me.  As for dropping everything to see him, I wouldn't be bothered in the least.  Everyone is excited....it's his first holidays!  He's a baby, everyone loves babies!  Were there people there who had never met/seen him?  Grandparents are proud and love to show off their grandbabies!  I don't think it will continue like that forever and I don't think he'll grow up to learn that everyone will drop everything for him when he arrives.

     

    My oldest was the first grandchild on both sides of the family.  His first set of holidays was INSANE.  We lived in Germany and only grandparents had met him so everyone was excited to see him/celebrate with him.  At 4, he doesn't expect everyone to drop everything when he arrives.  I think it's a phase of excitement that will pass and it wouldn't bother me unless they were forcibly trying to pluck him from my arms when he was obviously uneasy. 

  • imageJENandJEH:

    The yelling and food issues would bother me.  As for dropping everything to see him, I wouldn't be bothered in the least.  Everyone is excited....it's his first holidays!  He's a baby, everyone loves babies!  Were there people there who had never met/seen him?  Grandparents are proud and love to show off their grandbabies!  I don't think it will continue like that forever and I don't think he'll grow up to learn that everyone will drop everything for him when he arrives.

     

    My oldest was the first grandchild on both sides of the family.  His first set of holidays was INSANE.  We lived in Germany and only grandparents had met him so everyone was excited to see him/celebrate with him.  At 4, he doesn't expect everyone to drop everything when he arrives.  I think it's a phase of excitement that will pass and it wouldn't bother me unless they were forcibly trying to pluck him from my arms when he was obviously uneasy. 

    I totally understand them being excited, especially for his first holidays. We are super excited too.  This wasn't the first time for people to see DS and he is also the only grandchild on both sides.so I totally understand excitement..I guess I just wish they understood personal space, babies need that too. And he was a bit uncomfortable being there for the first hour; and then to say that he doesn't like uncle aaron bothered me. I don't think he was scared of uncle aaron, I think he was scared of everyone being in his face, and grabbing him.  He just wanted to be with me or DH for an hour and he is never like that, but I totally understand what you are saying. and yes the food and the yelling really made me mad.

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  • All I can say is that I can relate. Some things you have to let go, and when it's really bothering you, speak up. I can relate to arriving to dinner and my MIL practically running to the seat. When DS was about 3 weeks old, we hadn't even stepped in the door and she said "can I take him out?" NO, let us walk in the door first......
    TTC#2: 8/17/14 // BFP: 9/5/14
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    TTC#1: 7/30/11 // BFP: 8/22/11
    DS: Carson Robert 4/29/12
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